


difference :: .c.r.b.

by xx_colbys_queen_xx



Category: Sam and Colby, Why Don't We - Fandom
Genre: #colbybrock, #corbynbesson, #coreyscherer, #danielseavey, #devynlundy, #eltoncastee, #i'm still writing this, #jackavery, #jonahmarais, #longest book in history, #originalcharacters, #relationships, #samandcolby, #samgolbach, #smashing fandoms together, #this book isn't finished, #this is by far my favorite book, #zachherron, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-13 07:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 53,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20578622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xx_colbys_queen_xx/pseuds/xx_colbys_queen_xx
Summary: "He said he wishes he could wipe the entire thing from your memory so he could just hold you again.”“He- he said that?”I teared up.“Yeah, he did. It was hella emo, but he said it.”“I miss him. God- what am I doing?” I started crying. “I believed a lie for so long.”





	1. Two Halves

“Faith are we sure this is just an abandoned place? Because it looks hella haunted.” Madison said as we walked through the remains of an old hospital in Los Angeles. 

“I mean… I did some research…” I started. “It may have mentioned murders…”

“May have?! Faith we’re not wearing our crosses!” Madison stopped me from walking ahead of her, I handed her a Sharpie marker.

“Just draw a cross on your hand or something. We’ll be okay.” Madison drew a cross on her hand and I did the same when she returned my marker. I tucked it back inside the front pocket of my XPLR bag that I was very excited to bring along on these trips. 

We trekked through the whole of the building, heard a few funky sounds but not much, until right when we were about to leave. We heard voices so immediately we hid behind a wall. I peeked out of the window since we were on the second floor, and saw two people I’ve only dreamt of seeing. Sam and Colby.

They had their cameras and were walking into the hospital talking. It looked like they were making a video. I smirked. “Madi it’s our boys. They’re here filming.”

“What?! That’s awesome let’s go say hi!”

“No, wait!” I grabbed her hand. “Madi listen, it’s Sam and Colby. They’re always going into places paranoid about paranormal. I know Colby, he’s gonna know this place is haunted and haven’t said anything to Sam. I wanna mess with them a bit.”

“Like- make them think something else is in here with them?” Madison asked. 

“Yeah, scare ‘em a little bit. Watch.” I picked up a broken brick and chucked it across the second-floor hallway since it was so open, and it landed with a loud thunk in the distance. 

“Oh fuck what was that?” Colby cursed. Hearing his voice in person made my heart pound. 

“I don’t know, it sounds like it came from upstairs,'' Sam said. “Get your flashlight it’s dark up there.”

“Yeah way ahead of you.” Colby’s flashlight turned on and it licked the walls of the hallway as they made their way to the stairs. 

“Oh shit, go, go, hide!” I whispered and I quickly made my way into a room. Madison disappeared from behind me and went to the room across from me. I hid in the closet of the room I was in and tried to calm my rapid heartbeat and labored breathing from adrenaline. 

I heard multiple footsteps and the whispering of Sam and Colby as they explored the second floor. “Where’d you say you heard that? Where’d we hear that from up here right?”

“Yeah. Like, further down there.” Sam walked right past the room I was in. I didn’t see Colby till he flashed his flashlight in the room I was in. he walked inside and towards the closet so I had to think fast. I grabbed onto the railing above the door and did a pull up and hoisted myself up over it and hung there. 

I held my breath when he opened the door, then Sam called for him so he replied. “Yeah? Right here. You find something?”

It sounded like Madison might have sneezed or something from the room across from me. Sam heard it loud and clear. “Oh shit that was a sneeze. That was a sneeze there’s someone else here. Hello? Hel- is there anyone in here?”

“Yeah like a murderer’s just gonna jump out and be like, ‘hey, yeah, I was making a sandwich, want one?’.” Colby sarcastically commented, making me snicker but it wasn’t loud enough for them to hear. His sarcastic humor is my favorite. I love it so much. 

“Make another sound if there’s someone in here.” Sam said, and I had to force myself to lay low. I love Sam and Colby so much, but I love the idea of pranking the pranksters more. 

“There’s someone else here, you just gotta find me!” Madison laughed. I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh too. I almost did and blew my cover. 

“Oh god, okay, hide and seek with a stranger in a haunted hospital.” Sam chuckled. “Alright you’re on the second floor, correct? You sound so close.”

“Yep! Not too far. I saw you guys pass me seconds ago.” Madison said. 

“I know where she is!” I heard Colby run to the room across from me and into the room where Madison was. “Hey! It’s a fan! What’s up?! Why are you here?!”

“Exploring with my best friend.” Madison laughed. “She’s gonna be harder to find. We had no idea you guys would be here by the way. We’ve wanted to meet you guys for so long.”

“Aww, sweet. What’s your name?” Sam asked her.

“Madison.” She replied. I could hear the smile on her face in her voice. It made me smile too. She’s face to face with someone she’s wanted to meet longer than I have. 

“Best friend, huh?” Colby asked I could hear the smirk in his voice. I could see it in my head as he spoke. “She sneaky?”

“Oh hell yeah. She’s a lot like you, Colby. So good luck finding her. But I do know she thinks you’re hilarious. So if you say something funny or stupid she’ll laugh and we’ll find her. I don’t even know where she’s at.” Madison said. “Faith! Colby’s trying to find you now! Just so you know!”

“Oh god,” I whispered to myself. My heart started pounding hard. I was afraid someone would hear it. 

“Hey Faith- ouch! Fuck! That’s a rock.” Colby tripped over a rock or piece of rubble on the floor. “I heard you’re a lot like me. You’re a prankster huh? You can’t prank me, I’m the king of pranks.”

“Yes, you are.” I laughed very quietly to myself. “You always have been.”

“God, what do I gotta say to make you laugh? What makes her laugh, Madison?”

“Well, she thinks it’s hilarious when you just repeatedly cuss. She thinks it’s funny when you use funny voices. She loves your sarcasm. But she’s also protective over you so that could get us somewhere.” 

“So, start insulting Colby.” Sam laughed. “Alright cool.”

“Faith! We’re gonna insult your man! You gonna come out and defend him or what?!”

My face went pink hearing Madison call him mine. I began to lose grip on the metal railing I was holding onto. If I dropped it would make so much noise and they’d know where I was. 

“Colby’s so emo.” Sam started. He was using his sarcastic tone. I was already having to fight the giggles rising up out of my chest. “Like, he’s always wearing black. Those ripped jeans and rings.”

“You doof you wear rings and ripped jeans too.” Colby laughed. “Your insults suck, man. You need to go to argument school or something.”

“Hang out with Jake.” Sam offered.

“No, he’ll just say something dumb and it’ll be pointless,” Madison said, making both of them laugh. 

I heard Colby whisper something to Madison but I didn’t hear what he said. But then he raised his voice and called out to me. “Hey Faith! If you come out right now, I’ll give you the hoodie I’m wearing right now to keep!”

My heart stopped for a little at the thought of that. Yet I remained silent. Sam laughed. “Damn, you can tell she loves you, Colby.”

“Oh she does.” Colby retorted, sounding offended but I knew he was joking around. “So does bribing even work with you?! What do I gotta say?! Fuck?! Fuck, fuck, shit, ass, dick!!”

I snickered, this time it wasn’t as quiet, and Sam gasped. “I heard something but I wasn’t sure where. Go into the hallway and keep making her laugh.”

“Alright.” Colby left into the hallway. I could see him standing there from the small crack in the door. He looked so good. A black XPLR hoodie and black ripped jeans. His hair was so very blue and it brought out his eyes in the darkness. “What now? I cussed like a sailor, that made some progress, what now?”

“Turn into romantic Colby.” Madison offered, making my heart pound again. She knows me so well. “Say something adorable. She’ll come out of hiding I know it.”

“You know, it’s really fucking adorable how you think pranking me is gonna work,” Colby said. 

“Okay, we said romantic, not insulting.” Sam laughed, I laughed a little as well but muffled it with my hoodie sleeve. I got lucky. 

“Come out already! I wanna meet you! Give me some kind of hint! Please?!” Colby sounded at a loss. It was so freaking cute. 

“Faith, Colby fucking Brock is standing in the hallway of a haunted hospital looking for you because he wants to meet you,” Madison said. “I know you wanna come out of hiding so bad. You’re fighting it I just know it. Colby say something cute. And actually cute this time.”

“I bet you’re beautiful,” Colby said, making my heart so soft. “You sound like such a fun girl to hang out with.”

My eyes watered up. Dammit, Madison. Why’d you have to give him my weakness. I sniffled and Colby heard it. I was crying and already knew it. He kept going though. And I loved and hated it. 

“I bet you’re so fucking gorgeous that I’d lose my shit so fast I wouldn’t even know what to say,” Colby smirked, knowing he was speaking right to my heart with those words. “It would all come out gibberish.”

“Hey Faith, if you’re in that closet right there, Colby is literally inches away from you. Just behind that door.” Madison laughed. “You best get out here to say hi.”

“Your best friend’s out here ratting you out.” Colby snickered, then looked at the door of the closet. “Why do I have a feeling you’re in here? Like, I can almost feel something in front of me but I can’t see you.”

Colby opened the door and peeked inside. I tapped his head and he looked up at me. “Oh. Hi! Wow. Yeah, I was right. You are pretty.”

“That was sweet, but I’m gonna need you to move. I have to jump down from here and I don’t wanna land on you.” I said, he chuckled and moved out of the way as I jumped down and stood in front of him. Granted, I had to look up at him, but I was still face to face with the guy I love. 

“Well hello there, gorgeous,” Colby smirked, then took his hoodie off. “I believe this belongs to you.” 

“Thank you.” I took the hoodie from him and put it on. “Even though I didn’t come out when you said. You just suckered yourself out of a deal.”

“Yeah, well. I can afford it.” Colby laughed in reply. “You’re really cool. Come here. I heard you like hugs.”

“I do.” I hugged him tightly and he surprisingly hugged me back tighter, then released and looked down at me. “Aww! I didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m sorry!”

“No don’t be.” I shook my head and laughed as I wiped my eyes. “I’m just- kinda in shock I guess.”

I went to hug Sam. “Hey, nice to meet you. Damn you and Colby have like- the same style.”

I blushed and Colby spoke. “So you guys up here just to explore or?”

“Yeah pretty much,” Madison said. “We’re on a trip kind of. Going to some places we think would be cool to visit.”

“Dope.” Colby nodded, then put his arm around my shoulder and looked down at me with a laugh. “Damn you said you’re eighteen? You’re a shorty.”

“No, you’re a human skyscraper and everyone’s short to you.” I fired back and he snickered.

“You know, I like you. You’re a funny girl.” 

Sam and Colby closed their video and put their camera away. I didn’t want to say goodbye. At all. Ever. 

“So, you guys headed home?” Sam asked.

“Yeah most likely.” I sighed softly. “I have an apartment down the street from here. I do online school so I’m inside a lot.”

“Yeah that makes sense to why you were here then.” Sam said. “Well we’re planning on heading back home too. Not many plans left for the night.”

“Yeah us either.” Madison said. 

“You okay?” Colby asked me with a frown, seeing my frown as well. “You look off.”

“Not really.” I sighed again. “I don’t wanna say bye yet.”

“Aww.” Colby side hugged me, then reached into my back pocket and pulled my phone out. “Shit it’s locked. I was gonna be smooth and put my number in your phone without you knowing.”

“Here, lemme put the code in then, goof.” I took my phone from him with a laugh, then handed it back to him. 

“Aww, I’m your wallpaper.” Colby smiled. “There you go. Now you just let me know when you’re alone for too long. If you’re inside doing school or something text me and I’ll come over.”

“What?” I asked in complete shock. “Wh- really?”

“Yeah! You seem cool enough! You’re like a friend now. More than just a fan.” Colby told me with a smile. 

“Colby.” I hugged him again. “This is why you’re my favorite.”

“Ouch!” Sam said suddenly. “Fine. I see how it is. Love you too.”

“I love you too, Sam!” I said and tried to hug him too but Colby held me closer to him. “Colbs.”

“What? I don’t wanna share. This really shouldn’t be anything new to you.”

I made eye contact with Madison and shook my head slightly, in disbelief any of this is actually happening. “Okay mister, well, I gotta get home and I gotta take Madi to the airport.”

“Okay. Fine.” Colby frowned and let me go. “But you better text me. And when that hoodie starts to smell like you I better get it back.” 

“As long as I get it back when it starts smelling like you again.”

“Deal.” Colby smiled and hugged me again, then whispered into my ear. “I wasn’t lying when I said I’d come over. Just let me know.”

“Okay.” I held him a little longer, soaking in the moment, then hugged Sam and said last goodbyes as we all left the place. 

I looked over at Madison and she laughed. “Okay what the fuck was that?!”

“Um… I think we just met our idols.” I scoffed, watching the road as I drove. I was very sleepy and it was getting hard to focus. 

“I think you just met your soulmate.” Madison nudged my shoulder making me blush as dark as a stop sign. “Don’t tell me you didn’t internally lose your shit when he hugged you the first time.”

“The first time.” I shook my head in shock. “He hugged me like- seventy times.”

“I know he did, I saw that,” Madison said. “And he gave you his number and his hoodie too! Does it smell like him?”

I pulled the neck of the hoodie up to my nose and took a deep breath in. A smile spread across my face and my eyes watered up slightly. “It really does.”

I was able to drop Madison off at the airport safely and watched her plane take off, then I made it back to my apartment and locked the door behind me. I had so many emotions about tonight that I plopped onto my bed and just started crying. 

I took a picture of myself in the hoodie and sent it to Colby with the caption of, “Never taking this off.”

He read it almost immediately and replied with, “Good. Don’t. I’m gonna head to bed I’m hella tired. But goodnight my sweet angel, text me when you need me and I hope to see you soon.”

I screenshotted the message and sent it to everyone on my private Instagram story. It was viewed almost immediately by my cousin Brayden who texted me seconds after he saw it. He's like my big brother, which is why he calls me his sister.

~~~~~~  
bubby 😇  
~~~~~~

Is that who I think it is??  
That Colby guy you told me about??

Yeah it is =))  
I was exploring someplace in LA that they happened visit  
At the same time Madison and I were there

He best take care of you  
You better let me know if he fucks up  
Because you’re my little sister  
It’s my job to protect you

I know, bubby  
I’ll keep you updated

But I’m very happy for you  
So very happy  
That’s awesome and I’m excited for you  
Just because I’m protective doesn’t mean I’m not happy jsyk

I do  
I’m gonna go to bed  
I love you, it’s been a long night for me

I bet  
I love you too, sissy  
Goodnight and sleep well <3

<3 <3


	2. Happiness

The next morning I woke up to Colby following me on social media and a beautiful good morning text from Colby that said, “good morning my sweet angel, I hope you got some really good sleep last night in my hoodie :)) I’m filming today with Jake and Corey and Sam but feel free to text me whenever you need to! I miss you already xxx”

It brought tears to my eyes, so I replied, “what a beautiful thing to wake up to. It’s a dream. Colby it’s crazy I can even talk to you right now. I hope to see you again sometime soon because I miss you already as well. Have fun filming today and if you’re going anywhere abandoned, please don’t get arrested… again. xxx”

I had a laugh at the last line of my text, then put my phone to the side so I could do some schooling, but Colby texted me and told me to check out his recent post on Instagram for some reason. It was odd, but I did it anyway.

I was not ready for the caption…

~~~~~~  
@colbybrock : met my other half last night, and since then I just can’t stop smiling =))  
~~~~~~

I smiled so seriously big and commented a heart on his post, liked it, and screenshotted it. I then put my phone down and got my laptop out and textbook to start actually getting some schoolwork done. 

About four hours later, something like halfway through my last assignment, Colby texted me. It was the perfect time because honestly this finance class work was beginning to stress me out. Online school isn’t as glorious as you’d think. You don’t have many people to ask for help if you need it. 

~~~~~~  
🌙 Colbs 🐨  
~~~~~~

Something tells me you need someone to talk to rn

Stressing tf out atm

Aww  
Why?   
What’s bothering my girl?

School work  
I hate this so much

I’m sorry =(  
I wish I could help  
Lol I didn’t go to college  
I’d take you out someplace…  
But if you need to get that done then you should  
I’d hate to be the reason you got a bad grade or something

I appreciate that  
It’s the thought that counts  
Just having you here to talk to means a lot

I’m bored asf  
Just tried to sleep but it didn’t work

I miss you  
Like a lot  
I finally get to call you mine and I can’t hang out with you

Yours huh?  
I like that a lot  
You’re mine then  
Protective Colby time  
=))

Colbs ❤

I was thinking about you today

Yeah?   
I’ve been thinking about you too ❤

You know all those places I went on TFIL?

Yeah what about ‘em?

I wanna travel with you

Aww

Pick one place  
Any place in the world  
Let your mind wander  
What pops up first?

Dubai

I’m taking you there as soon as I can

Colby

What?   
I wanna spoil my girl  
I wanna get to know you better  
What better place then where she’s always wanted to be?  
With someone who’s gonna take care of her while she’s there?

I’m crying

Known each other for 2 days  
I’ve already made you happy cry twice  
It’s a record so far

Because you’re the best  
Literally  
I love you so much

I love you too ❤

Wait  
For reals?  
Like, seriously?

Do those three words have another meaning?  
One I don’t know about?  
When I say it I mean it  
I love youuuuu ❤

Colby stoppitttt  
I’m cryinggg  
You can’t be sweet like this

Why not?

Cuz I have to do school and I can’t come see you  
When I want to come see you  
Because you’re being a sweetheart

I can leave you alone  
So you can focus

That sounds bad =(  
I’m not trying to push you away or anything

I know  
I want you to do well in school  
So Imma sleep really fast  
Maybe about an hour   
Hour and a half most likely  
That way you can do your school  
While I’m asleep  
Then maybe tonight we can hang out  
Just you and me this time ❤

That sounds like heaven   
I’m down  
Sweet dreams, Colbs ❤

Oh I know they will be  
You’re in ‘em

Lol aww  
Text in a little bit then

Hey   
Before you go

Yeah what’s up?

I love you ❤

Aww  
Colby  
I love you too ❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once I finally finished my school work, I pulled up Colby’s contact again and asked him what we’d be doing and where we’d be going. He asked if movies and videos at his place would be okay, and I smiled with a reply of yes. 

I put a pair of joggers on and Colby’s hoodie, tossed my hair up in a relaxed ponytail, and grabbed my keys and drove to his place. He texted me the address of course. It was so surreal walking up into the apartment building because I’ve seen it and the hallways of the place so many times before in his YouTube videos. Now it’s actually in person. And it’s blowing my mind. 

I knocked on the door of his apartment and he ran up to the door and opened it eagerly. He was in a pair of skinny jeans and black socks. That was pretty much it. He was shirtless, but that’s classic for Colby. He smiled seeing me in front of him again and he hugged me and closed the door behind us. 

“Aww, my girl, hi.” He smiled and released the hug. “You look so freaking adorable right now.”

“You do too. Maybe even more than I do.” I told him and we sat on his couch. 

“Oh I highly doubt that. You’re wearing my hoodie. I think I win by saying you’re cuter.” Colby defended himself. 

“Oh, by the way, now that you bring that up.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a beanie. Joggers have deep pockets, I didn’t shove the hat in a tiny little pocket that barely fits a hand. “I got this for you. I’ve had it in my closet for so long, I just never wear it. You can have it. You look good in beanies.”

“Aw, what a sweetheart.” Colby took it from me and put it on. “I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, looks good on you. But what doesn’t, right?” 

“Damn.” Colby blushed. “You know just how to get to me don’t you?”

“It’s a gift.” I shrugged, then laughed with him. “So what are we doing here?”

“I don’t really know to be honest.” Colby looked around. “I said movies but I’d honestly rather sit and talk to you.”

“Aww.” I side hugged him, but he pulled me in by my waist and turned our hug into a cuddle. “I thought all of your cuddle tweets were jokes.”

“No, no way,” Colby said. “I actually really enjoy cuddling.” 

“Aw, I do too.” I laid my head on his chest. “You’re my favorite.”

“You’re my favorite too.” He told me, he then stroked my hair gently and sighed a little. “Sorry if any of this is creepy or anything.”

“No, you’re fine.”

“I just- I finally have someone. You know? I’ve finally got someone I can hold close and hang out with.” 

“It’s all happening so fast.” I smiled softly. “Everything I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me.”

“Me? Aww.” Colby hugged me close. “You’re so sweet. I don’t know how you were still single when I met you.”

“I was wondering the same about you, Colby.” 

“Well, we got each other now. No need to care at all about the past.” Colby said.

“You’re such a softy.” I told him with a smile. “You know, the outside version of you seems like this tough badass guy when the inside version of you is so sweet and cute. I love it.”

“Yeah? Well I bet it’s the same with you too.” Colby said. “On the outside you’re tough and outgoing and crazy, which is good, but I bet on the inside you’re a teddy bear.”

“It’s funny you say that. The teddy bear thing. Because all of my friends and family used to call me teddy bear while I was still in school. Because I used to be so introverted and shy but I was super duper sweet and super selfless and everything. And I love hugs so they added that onto the list and called me teddy bear.”

“Aww, well you’re my teddy bear now.” Colby hugged me. “You’re my cute little teddy bear.”

“I definitely know how to bring the softer side out of you.” I smirked a little.

“Exactly. You’re the tougher me’s teddy bear.” 

“And you’re my cuddle buddy.” I said and he blushed. “What?”

“You’re just really cute.” Colby smiled. “I want to stay like this forever.”

I laid my head on his bare chest. “Me too.”

“I know you gotta get up and do school, and I know you’ve got a job, and I know you have all of these responsibilities to keep, but you gotta promise me you’ll remember to give yourself mental breaks every now and then.” He told me. “What you told me earlier, that you were super stressed out about your classes, it was good you told me that and thank you because I can help, but it did make me sad a little. Please try to take breaks or play some music or something. Give yourself a mental break. Stress is bad. I don’t want that for my girl.”

“I will, Colby.” I sat up a little and looked into his eyes. His beautiful bright blue eyes I fell so hard in love for two years ago. And still fall in love with every time I see them. Colby just smiles at me. “What?”

He slowly leans in and ever so gently kissed me. I leaned into it and the fireworks exploded like a nuclear bomb met a burning house. Nothing left untouched. Everything was on fire and ruthlessly burning. “Whoah…”

“Yeah.” I smiled against his lips. “Let’s do that again.”

“Mm.” Colby smiled too and leaned in to kiss me again. Then we started making out. It got heated quick and his hands reached down to the hem of my shirt and he began to lift it up over my head but I pulled it back down and pulled away from his lips. “Too fast?”

“Yeah.” I breathed out and rested my forehead on his with my eyes closed.

“Sorry.” 

“Mm, don’t be.” I shook my head. “That was good, just- it was a little too early.”

“Mkay.” Colby rubbed my back a little. “You um… you wanna go out and do something? I got an idea.”

“Okay.” I leaned back. “What do you have in mind?”

“We go and explore something together. And film the whole damn thing. And post it on YouTube saying fuck it.”

“Oh damn.” We both laughed. “Colby, don’t you think it’s not a good idea to tell the public about us right away?”

“That’s why I said we’d post the video saying fuck it. Because I don’t care what anyone thinks. If my fans are really true fans, they’ll be loyal whether I’m single or not.”

“Let’s do it.” I laughed again. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know if you saw the video or not, but you know that abandoned silo thing Sam and I went to explore some time ago? I wanna take you there. It’s just so beautiful and I feel like you’d love seeing that view.”

“Colby when I first saw the video, I played it three times over. I love that place. Let’s do it.”


	3. Protective

“Colby. Stoppit.” 

“What? What am I doing wrong?” Colby looked at me, then slowly panned the camera over to me. “I bet all the viewers and I wanna know.”

“You’re looking over at me and just smiling and it’s driving me nuts.” I smiled. “You guys can agree with me. He has such a handsome smile and when he just smiles at you it drives you insane. Colby smile at the camera. Just genuinely smile.”

“Okay.”

“You probably just emotionally killed half of the fans watching this video right now.”

“Sorry guys.” Colby laughed and went back to focusing on the road, then he handed me the camera. “Here hold this. It’s hard to film and drive. I don’t know how Corey does it. If you’re watching this buddy, teach me how the hell you do that. You can’t hold a big ass camera like that and drive at the same time.”

“Let’s not crash the car.” I told him and he nodded.

“Exactly! I don’t wanna crash because I’ve got you in the car and if you got hurt I’d lose my shit.” 

“Aww.” I smiled over at him and he smiled at me. “Colby.”

“Kiss me.” Colby leaned over and kissed me, then went back to the road. 

“He’s a softy guys.” I told the camera. “He may look all big and bad in the videos, and he is, but on the inside he’s such a softy. A big old teddy bear.”

“Hey, expose me much.” Colby scoffed and pretended to be offended. “And you got it wrong. You’re my teddy bear remember? We established that back at the house.”

“Right. And you’re my cuddle buddy!” I giggled seeing his face go pink. “And you can’t cut this part out of the video. I won’t kiss you for an entire day. Or text you. You’ll be ghosted.”

“Ghosted huh? Using the term ghosted with someone who’s talked to demons?” Colby snickered. “It doesn’t sound like a scary thing.”

“Being completely ignored and denied attention from your girlfriend all day long doesn’t sound scary to you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“That’s what that means?!” Colby looked over at me. “Well then by all means don’t fucking ghost me I’m gonna go insane! Literally!”

“Aww I’m your sanity.” I cooed and he blushed. Again. Damn I’m good at this.

“Okay now you stoppit.” Colby snickered. “Alright well we’ve got another two hours to drive out to this place, so we’ll get back with you guys once we’re in here.”

\--

“So how the hell do we get in here?” I asked Colby as we stood outside of the car across the street from the silos. I could see the skyscraper thing they climbed last time, it was covered in graffiti. 

“I’m pretty sure Sam and I just booked it inside and found an entrance somewhere but I don’t remember where that entrance was.” Colby looked around. “Let’s go run up here behind the fence and try to scope out the place. Maybe I’ll remember when I start seeing stuff.”

“Okay deal.” Colby and I ran across the street behind the chain link fence that was behind a silo so we had cover. “Any of this jog your memory?”

“Kinda.” Colby said. I held the camera. “I think we went over there, climbed that big rack of pipes, and there was a piece of sheet metal torn out from the side of the skyscraper there. Yeah, that’s how we got in.”

“Look at this man. He’s so smart.”

“I’m really not.” Colby snickered and took the camera. “Jumping into abandoned places and potentially getting arrested for it? I went to jail, babe.”

“I know.” I replied, trying my hardest not to get thrown off by him calling me babe. It made my heart stop. “And yet here we are doing the same thing that got you arrested. Trespassing.”

“Okay hey, stoppit.” We both laughed. “Okay on three, we’re gonna run and duck behind those pipes. We’ve gotta climb them then too but we’ll figure that out when we get up there.”

“Good plan. Run!” Both of us laughed while running through the hole in the fence and ducked behind the tall rack of pipes. There was a small slit under the pipe rack. “Hey! Look!”

“What are you doing?” Colby turned around and saw me slip under the pipes quick and easy. “What the fuck? Now I’m stuck climbing this tall ass rack on my own?! How the hell did you do that!?”

“My cousin’s in the Marines, I know how to army crawl.” I snickered. “And I’m just small I guess. Get to climbing, buddy.”

“Buddy?” Colby scoffed and handed the camera to me under the rack. I held it up and filmed the pipe rack as Colby climbed it. “Okay don’t film this. It’s highly unattractive.”

“I think it is. Anything you do is hot babe because you’re the one doing it.”

“Okay whatever.” Colby jumped down and grabbed the camera. “Gimme this. You little piece of garbage.”

“Excuse me? You ass.” I kicked him in the butt. Not too hard but hard enough.

“Ouch, fuck.” Colby looked back. “There’s a white footprint on my black skinny jeans now.”

“Yup, right on the ass cheek.” I snickered. “Okay where are we going now? Can we get into this?”

“Should be able to.” Colby walked to the side of it. “Yup, right here. Here’s the tear in the sheet metal. Alright you first, tiny. Fitting in tight spaces seems to be your thing.”

“Oh it wasn’t yours?” I snickered and he laughed. Pretty hard actually.

“See this is why you’re my girlfriend. You see this guys?” Colby shook his head and laughed. “Alright when you get in there don’t breathe. There’s asbestos and I don’t want you getting sick.”

“You don’t want me getting sick which was cute, but then you tell me to hold my breath. I’d rather take my chances of getting sick than hold my breath and pass out.”

“Okay well hold on.” Colby handed me the camera because I got in the small hole so quickly, then he slipped inside and got into his bag. “Here you go.”

“Ah the infamous black masks.” I took one and put it on. “How do I look?”

“Hella fucking hot. You like like a badass rule breaker.” Colby told me, then smacked my ass as I walked up the stairs in front of him. “Mine.”

“Ouch Colby, damn.” 

“Hey.” Colby chuckled. “I was just telling the truth.”

“Okay well tell the truth that doesn’t involve making marks on my body. There’s probably a bright red mark of your hand on my ass now.”

“Good. It’s mine. Won’t be the last mark I make on you babe.” Colby smirked. 

“You’re lucky I’m in front of you. I’d kick you so hard if I was behind you after that comment.” I looked back behind me at the camera. “Sorry about this guys. I don’t know why he’s being so nasty at the moment. You can just skip past all of the pg-13 content.”

“Pg-13? Why not rated R?” Colby smacked my ass again, harder this time, and I turned around. 

“Colby Robert Brock.” I grumbled. “Stop smacking me in the ass! It’s painful!’

“It’s hot! And mine!” Colby whined. “You’re so cute when you’re pissed off.”

I couldn’t keep an angry facial expression. I had to grin. “Okay well you’re still an ass.”

“That’s fair.” Colby snickered. I ran further ahead of him and jumped up the stairs. This staircase spirals all the way to the top and we’re on the last staircase. “Baby wait I’m sorry!”

“Tell that to my ass, Colby!” I yelled back. “It fucking stings now!”

“Aww I thought you’d like me smacking your ass.” Colby smirked. 

“Okay hurry up you butt.” I had made it to the top and was just waiting for him. 

“We made it guys.” Colby said. “Let me climb up that ladder first. I wanna catch your reaction.”

Colby climbed up, then so did I and I gasped seeing the view. “Oh my god… Colby…”

“You like it?” He asked me and took his mask off. I took mine off too. My eyes watered a little at the view. 

“It’s so beautiful. You can see all of LA.” I said and walked to the edge of the building and sat on it, dangling my feet off. Colby sat next to me. 

“This is nice, huh?” 

“Yeah.” I soaked in the view, then looked over at Colby and gasped. “Babe lemme see the camera. Do something for me. Turn your head to the side a little. There, and act like you’re just staring off into the sunset. Okay now everyone watching this, screenshot that and send it to me or tag me in it.”

“What was the purpose of that?” Colby took the camera back and laughed. “Did I look hot?”

“Yeah. You looked really good. And when I used to watch you and Sam’s videos back in high school, I’d screenshot whenever you’d look really good during the videos and edit the photos I got. It was a lot of fun. I just wanted to reminisce on those days.”

“Only this time you don’t have to screenshot. I’m right here.” Colby scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. His hand set on my leg and it gave me chills. He noticed and snickered. “Damn, I have that effect on you?”

“Always have, Colbs.” I laid my head on his shoulder. He set the camera down and turned it off. 

“We’ll do an outro back at my place. I just wanna watch the sunset in private with my girl.”

\--

“No. I don’t want you to leave. I’m not letting you leave.” 

So, I have to go back home. I have classes to catch up on. I have a final in a couple of days to study for. Yet Colby physically is holding me back away from the door and not letting me leave. 

“Colby it’s ten o’clock at night. I gotta go home I’m tired.” 

“I have a bed here! And a couch! And a blanket! I can be your pillow too! Please stay.” He made a puppy face. “Please?”

I looked into his eyes for a second, then sighed. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Colby picked me up and ran back to the couch and jumped onto it and pretty much wrapped both of his legs and arms around me. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m not even gonna try and fight you.” I chuckled. We were silent for a minute, when I eventually snuggled into him and he held me tightly to his chest. He turned his light off by telling Alexa to and sighed in complete content. 

“Hey baby?” He mumbled quietly.

“Mm?” I replied, half asleep already. His embrace is just so safe and warm, it’s making me so sleepy.

“I just had a thought.” Colby started. “And with the thing I said in the car today, and when we were joking around about getting arrested at the silos, I just wanted to tell you that I’m always gonna keep you safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

I teared up and a tear fell down my cheek. “Colby I needed to hear that. I don’t think that’s ever been said to me before. In my entire life. By anyone.”

“Good.” Colby replied. “It’s my job. I’m gonna keep you safe. I’ll protect you.”

“Colby.” I smiled softly as a few more tears fell down my cheeks. “You say all of the right things.”

“I’m protective and possessive of what’s mine. You’re mine. I’m just doing my job.” Colby kissed my temple and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Colby.”


	4. United Forces

The next morning I woke up in Colby’s arms. And it was something I never thought I’d ever get the pleasure of doing. I grabbed my phone from the table and took a picture of his arms around me, and posted it to my story with the caption, “good morning 😌”

My social following grew fast after that video was posted last night. But one of the first people to see my story was Brayden. And being the big brother he was, had to say something in reply. He followed Colby on all socials and screenshotted it, then sent it to me. I smiled big and my eyes watered. Brayden and Colby are the main guys in my life. And both of them are protective over me so I thought they’d butt heads but no. Brayden likes Colby, a lot actually, and I couldn’t be happier. 

I put my phone down and looked up at Colby. He was laying under me with his arms around me, still decently tight despite the fact that he’s asleep. I brushed the hair out of his face and kissed him gently. I can’t believe he’s mine. He’s a heavy sleeper so I didn’t expect him to wake up. It was cute though. Really cute. 

I lay there on Colby, drifting in and out of sleep, for about another two hours, until he woke up around noon. He seemed slightly disoriented when he woke up and it was adorable. 

“Hey Colbs.” I smiled up at him softly. “You slept late, sleepyhead.”

“I usually do.” Colby yawned and stretched. I don’t know how he did that with me on top of him, but he did. It’s Colby, he’s weird and I don’t ever question. He grabbed his phone when it got a notification. “Who’s this Brayden guy?”

“Oh, he’s my cousin. He’s like my older brother.” I told him. “Why?”

“He sent me a message on Instagram.” Colby rubbed his eyes and looked at the screen again. “He goes, ‘hey, my cousin’s been telling me about you lately, a lot, and I just wanted to say thank you for taking good care of her. She’s gone through so many heartbreaks and she’s like my little sister, it’s hard to watch her go through that kind of thing. So knowing you’re treating her right and she’s being well taken care of is nice to hear. Thank you again. Take good care of her, although I really don’t have to tell you twice.’”

“Aww, Brayden.” I smiled and looked up at Colby. “He likes you. That’s saying something. Of all the guys I’ve dated, he hasn’t liked any of them. At all. Or he’s teased and made fun of them around me or tried to tell me I should break up with them because he knew they weren’t good for me. Now here he is with you saying thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’m honored.” Colby put his phone down and smiled softly. “You obviously are very close to him.”

“Yeah.” I pulled my sleeve up and showed him the tattoo I have on my arm, it says, ‘my brother’s keeper’. “His says, ‘my sister’s protector’. We’ve always been like siblings. He’s always been my number one. I was nervous about what he’d think about you, both of you are my main guys. I was scared you guys would fight or something. Knowing you’re both protective I was worried one of you would get possessive and not like me hanging out with the other or something.”

“Nah, I don’t come between family.” Colby said. “I love you a lot and will protect you with my life and keep you from bad people, but I know my boundaries and I draw the line for myself at family.”

“And this is why you’re my favorite.” I told him with another smile. “I agree with you. I wish we could stay like this forever.”

Colby’s phone went off with a phone call and he picked it up. “It’s Corey.”

“Corey? Like, Corey Scherer?”

“Yeah.” Colby snickered. “Probably’s confused about the video. I haven’t told any of my friends but Sam about you yet.”

“Well by all means pick up.” 

“Hey Corey, what’s up?” Colby put him on speaker so I could hear him. 

“Okay the media is going nuts about your video yesterday. You’re dating someone?”

“Yeah, I am.” Colby snickered. “She’s right here next to me buddy. Hard to believe I’m not single anymore, huh?”

“Not really, I was just waiting for it to happen to be honest, man. But damn I watched that video yesterday when you posted it, that girl’s got some fire. She’s as crazy as you are.”

“I know, that’s why I love her.” Colby smiled. “It’s why she’s my girlfriend. Man I was just waiting for someone to come along that was as insane as I was. I wasn’t going to be with any other girl who didn’t prioritize having fun and living life like I did, man.”

“Yeah, that’s good, makes sense. But Devyn and I really wanna meet her, she seems like a lot of fun to hang out with. Devyn and I watched your video yesterday together and the times you two made jokes or teased each other had us laughing so hard. You two are great and we wanna meet her.”

“Aww.” I smiled softly. “I wanna meet you guys too. I’ve been a fan of Devyn for almost as long as I was a fan of Colby. Tell her that for me, she’s already one of my favorites.”

“I will, she’ll love hearing that.” Corey laughed. “What’s your name by the way? Colby only ever called you babe during the video which was cute but I wanna know your name.”

“My name’s Faith. It’s mind blowing I’m talking to you right now. You crack me up, Corey.”

“Aww, thank you! Keep this one, Colby. If you fuck this up I’m gonna lose it.”

“I don’t plan on fucking it up.” Colby picked up his phone again. “Alright well you can come over whenever or we can go hang out someplace, what are you thinking?”

“Well that new trampoline place opened not too long ago. You guys down?”

“Yeah that sounds awesome.” Colby smiled.

“Sweet, I’ll let Devyn know and we’ll meet you guys there in about an hour? Sound good?”

“Perfect. See you there, buddy.”

“See ya.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“So your name is Faith, that’s a beautiful name, what else? I wanna know more about you.” Devyn smiled at me from across the table. We’re at the trampoline park at a table because we just got food. 

“Yeah, Colby’s picky when it comes to girls but you walked right on in like you owned the place so,” Corey added. 

“Well, I’m eighteen, I turn nineteen in October, so here soon.” I started. “I have two sisters and this big loud family back in Indiana. I’ve always dreamt of living in LA so I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. I was a big fan of Sam and Colby and still am. Especially now that I’m with Colby.”

“Don’t go telling our meeting story now.” Colby took a drink of his soda. 

“Why not? I wanna know.” Devyn said.

“Because it’s bad.” Colby blushed and laughed. “She scared the shit out of me. That’s how we met.”

“Yeah.” I laughed too with Devyn and Corey because Colby’s comment was hilarious. “My best friend and I were exploring this abandoned hospital and he and Sam happened to come at the same time so she and I scared them pretty good.”

“Oh yeah?” Corey laughed. “How’d you do that? Colby doesn’t scare easily.”

“Well to be specific I just threw things across the building to make loud sounds.” I started. “Then when they made it to where we were, my friend and I hid and they had to find us.”

“Little piece of garbage hid from me for ages.” Colby nudged me. “I eventually found her though.”

“How? Where was she hiding?”

“I was hiding in a closet.” I snickered. “And I had to pull myself up on the railing because Colby came into the closet the same time I hid in there but I was literally hanging from a broken metal pole. Somehow he didn’t see me.”

“And you said you were professional.” Corey teased Colby. 

“I learned one thing that day.” Colby started. “Don’t play hide and seek with this one.”

“That’s what we can do!” I jumped up. “We can play hide and seek here!”

“I’m so in!” Devyn added and the guys shrugged and stood up. 

“Guys versus girls,” Corey said. “I’m gonna film this for my vlog. Y’all are on camera. No making out you two, we’re on a family channel here.”

As soon as Corey turned the camera on, Colby looked at it and laughed. “Fuck!”

“Colby!” Corey laughed hard. “I said this is a family channel!”

“Okay! Let’s play the game now!” I led our group near the back of the place so we could be alone to discuss rules. “Okay so what are some rules we should do?”

“We should do a crossover. One girl from the girl team hides and one guy from the guys team has to find her. Then the other guy from the guy’s team hides while the other girl from the girl’s team has to find the guy. First team to find the other team’s hider wins.” Devyn explained. 

“Let’s do it! Alright, girls, pick who’s hiding for you and we’ll do the same.” Colby said and he and Corey got together and started whispering amongst themselves.

I got with Devyn. “Okay Dev I think you should hide first. You’re so small it’s perfect. You could fit anywhere.”

Devyn giggled. “Thank you. And yeah I could be sneaky and hide somewhere clever.”

“Perfect. Okay, guys, who’s hiding for your team?”

“I am.” Colby smiled at me. “You gotta find me, baby!!!”

“You’re a dork.” I rolled my eyes and laughed at his goofy smile. 

“Okay, so Corey you and Faith go wait at the tables and face away from the park so Colby and I can hide. Then when we’re ready, each of us will send you guys a text to say we’re ready. Ready, go!”

Corey and I sat at the tables together. “I told them to film on their phones. We’re good.”

It was quiet a minute, until Corey spoke up again. “Is Colby a good boyfriend to you?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “When it’s just us he’s so sweet. He’s super like- not rough and tumble badass Colby, you know? And he’s protective, very protective. I don’t think that’s a bad thing though, I have some pranks planned.”

“Pranks, huh?” Corey smirked and put his phone down. “What kind of things do you have in mind?”

“Kidnapping prank.” I laughed. “Dude that’s the first one I wanna do on him. I’m gonna need some help with it though.”

“Oh man, I’ll help. How many people do you need?” Corey sat up. “Pranking Colby sounds like so much fun. Oh! We could start a couple’s prank war!!”

“Yeah! That sounds awesome!” I smiled. “And I don’t know, I was thinking you, Sam, Devyn, Kat, and maybe Jake and Tara? Maybe you guys could like, be hanging out with Sam and Kat at their place and I could hide in Sam’s somewhere odd where he’d never think to look. I’d have to turn my phone on silent because he’d wanna call or text me obviously.”

“Oh you got it all planned out, girl.” Corey laughed. “We should do this sometime soon. Like, really soon. Just because I’m excited to see his reaction.”

“Obviously one of you guys would film it.” I said. “Say like, you’re doing it for a vlog and you just want to catch it all on camera because it’s something big and scary and you want to film it.” 

“Yes.” Corey and I high fived. “Damn I like you, you’re a cool girl.”

“Oh, Colby just texted and said he was ready.”

“Devyn said the same. Alright, may the best team win. Film on your phone so we can put it all together at the end.” 

I pulled my phone out and pressed record as I tried to find Colby. I whispered to the phone as I went. “Alright Colby, you’re forgetting who you’re going up against. I’m the queen of hiding from people.”

I looked in the foam pit but soon realized how hot it was in there and I didn’t think Colby, who came dressed in a hoodie, would want to hide in a place as stuffy as that. No, I had to get crafty. 

“Guys I gotta remember that Colby’s sneaky. My boyfriend’s insane, so he’s gonna hide in risky places.” I said to the camera. “I do remember he stayed one night at a trampoline place overnight so he may have me beat on this one.”

I kept looking and examined the main trampolines and the basketball court and the shoe cubbies but he literally was nowhere. “Okay I take back what I said earlier about being the queen of hide and seek. I cannot find my boyfriend guys. This isn’t good. I wonder if Corey’s found Devyn yet.”

I checked the foam pit again and the only place I had left was the arcade. Colby likes arcades. “Okay guys I might have this on lock. Colby loves arcades. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t check this place first. He’s gonna be in here somewhere I know it.”

I walked inside and looked around a little and smiled softly at the skee-ball. Colby’s favorite game, that’s also my favorite arcade game. I looked around at the basketball hoop game and the whack-a-mole, but there literally was no way I could find him. 

“Okay Colby what the hell?” I scoffed with a laugh. “It’s like he vanished from existence guys. Actually no that would make me sad. But literally where is he at? This is starting to actually concern me.”

I went to the skee-ball game again and sat on the railing, honestly a little sad I couldn’t find Colby. Until someone attacked me with a hug from behind. “Hi baby!!”

“Colby?! What the hell, where were you?!”

“Right back here! You passed me already! You looked at the game and I swear you saw me but you didn’t.” Colby explained, then kissed my cheek. “I gave myself up because you looked sad and I didn’t like that.”

“I was sad. I couldn’t find my boyfriend.” I took his hand. “Well, boys win, but fuck it. I just wanna know where Devyn hid.”

We found Corey and Devyn at the front and decided that guys did win this game this time. But that next time the win won’t come so easy.


	5. Set Free

Colby tried to convince me to stay with him, but I told him that I seriously had to get back to my place. It’s been two days and I haven’t done squat school-wise. So, after a sad and long goodbye, I made it inside my apartment and into my bedroom where I flopped over onto my bed and just laid there a second. 

A second turned to a minute, a minute turned to an hour, and eventually I just slept there in that awkward position all night long. I woke up the next morning with an email notification that final exams were today and I needed to get ready to go into the school campus to take the tests. I have a total of three today. Then that’s it. Then I graduate.

“Shit.” I tiredly whined as I forced myself to stand up. “I don’t wanna get up today.”

I dressed in black ripped skinny jeans and Colby’s hoodie, then slipped on a pair of black high top Converse and left the house with my bag. It consisted of my laptop, three water bottles, two textbooks, and my laptop and phone chargers. Also earbuds because I can’t do barely anything without music. The entire universe should know that by now. 

I left the house and made it to the school. Before leaving my car I took a deep breath and sighed it out calmly and slowly. I hate places with tons of people and I’m on my own. It terrifies me when I don’t have someone with me that I know in these situations, but after these finals I can say goodbye to this campus once and for all. 

I told myself this is for Colby, and I had the courage to get out and into the school building. I used the map on my phone to locate the classroom I will be in for at least four hours today. At least. The test proctor came into the room and told the classroom that we were to put phones away and silence them, and we were allowed breaks from the test once it is finished. 

Let me remind you, I have three final exams today. The test started and I set my phone in my bag. As I took the test I saw my phone light up in my bag countless times. It was so very tempting to check it, knowing it was either Colby, Brayden, or Madison, but I followed the rules and waited until I had finished my first final. 

\----

After completing the first final of the day, I was allowed a ten minute break to go and sit in the commons or take a walk or go to the bathroom. So I went to the bathroom, refilled a water bottle, and sat in the commons and put earbuds in while I checked my phone. I got a text message from Colby early this morning that said he and Sam were going on a trip for their collab channel and that he hopes I had a good morning and he knew I’d do great on my finals. 

Then earlier when he had gotten home about an hour and a half after sending the first text, he sent me a selfie of him sitting alone on the couch in his living room and captioned it, “lonely… are you done yet? =((“

I texted him back saying I wasn’t even halfway, but that I was definitely coming over after the finals because I’d be both physically and mentally drained and all I’m gonna want is to cuddle with him. He said he was looking forward to it, that he loved me, and he told me a funny joke to get my spirits up again, then I went back into the room to take my second final. 

\----

“I’m on the way right now.” I told Colby over the phone. I was cranky and tired and like I had said before, all I want at the moment is peace, quiet, and him. 

“Okay, sweet. Love you see you in a bit.”

“Love you too, Colbs.”

We hung up and I sighed softly as I drove up into the parking garage of the apartment building. I went up the elevator to Colby’s floor and knocked on his door. He opened it, smiled, picked me up, and closed the door back.

“Colby I’m not in the mood for goofy right now.” I sighed again.

“I know.” Colby set me down on the couch and went into his bedroom and came out with a big bag and sat next to me on the couch. “So I went through my clothes today and got rid of some things, but I saved alll of my hoodies and some of my tees just in case you’d want them?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s really cool of you, thank you. It means a lot.”

“You mean a lot.” Colby put the bag back down and hugged me close to him, his shirtless chest was so warm and it made the hug feel so safe. I sighed contentedly. 

“You know what you do for me right? Every time I’m with you?”

“What’s that?”

“You set me free.” 

Colby smiled and I swear he teared up a little bit. “It’s my job. That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“I wanna stay. I wanna stay right here. I don’t ever want to throw this away. You numb all of my pain. You make it easy.”

“That was beautiful.” Colby kissed my head. “I wanna keep you safe. Hold you close right here. Protect your life with all of mine. You helped me escape. You made happy easy. You found a way to make friends with my demons but keep your angels. You’re stuck, you’re mine, and I don’t plan on letting you go.”

“I- I don’t even know what to say.” Tears fell from my eyes as he said that. “This. Right here. Is why I love you.”

“I love you more,” Colby smirked.

“I’m not even gonna fight you on that.” We both laughed. 

“I think that’s a very wise decision.” He replied.

“Colby?”

“Mhm?”

“Do you ever want kids?”

“Eventually.” Colby sighed softly but it wasn’t a bad sigh. More of a ‘deep in thought’ sigh. “But I want to take as long as I can to just live life. I definitely wanna get married, but no kids right away. What about you?”

“Same as you. I don’t want too many responsibilities right away because I want to take time to enjoy the freedom of being young.” 

“I don’t think I could’ve said it any better.” Colby laid down and pulled me down next to him. I just snuggled into him and took a second to just breathe. 

“I graduate soon,” I told him.

“I’m so proud of you. I stopped at high school.” 

“I wanted to,” I said. “I only kept going because Bray said I should.”

“Good for you. He’s a smart guy and you’re a smart girl.” Colby wrapped his arms around my waist. “So do we have a ceremony to go to or?”

“No. The ceremony is optional. I told them I wasn’t planning on coming so they just emailed me my diploma and I printed it out. That’s how it went.”

Colby laughed at that. “You’re adorable.”

“What? I didn’t feel like sitting in some big room for three plus hours to get a piece of paper!” I laughed. “It made no sense. So I said no.”

“You get more time with me then.”

“Exactly.”

~~~~~~

A few days later, it was Thursday, and Sam was having a pizza party at his house. It’s around ten or eleven o’clock at night, and everyone’s at the party. There is loud music and pizza and sodas and drinks, and everyone is either on their phones or talking to each other. Colby and Jake and Sam are playing a card game so he’s busy and distracted. 

I made eye contact with Corey and he and Devyn and I slipped outside of the door of Sam’s apartment to talk. “Alright we ready to pull this off?”

“Yes! I’m so excited.” I jumped up and Devyn laughed. 

“So how in the world are you gonna hide in there without anyone noticing?”

“I got Sam in on it and Kat and they said I could hide in the cabinet under the sink in their bathroom. They said it’s just small enough to fit me comfortably but not too big that he’d wanna check there.”

“Okay and we’ll film everything. If he asks us if we know where you went we say we have no idea and we needed to go home and check on Navi because she’s been sick lately.” Devyn said. “Okay so let’s sneak you in there.”

Us three made it inside and they kind of stood in front of Sam’s room so no one would see me go in there. I found my hiding spot and fit in there snuggly. The light was off and the door was cracked, everything was set up perfectly. 

-3rd Person POV-

Colby finished the card game he was playing with Jake and Sam, then the other two sat with their girlfriends and Kat asked where Faith went. Immediately Colby looked up and tried looking for her. He couldn’t see her right away so he got up and asked Devyn if she had seen her because he knows they’re becoming close friends and maybe she’d know where she was. That was his mentality at least.

“Hey, you guys know where Faith went?” Colby asked. “I literally can’t find her anywhere.”

“I don’t know, we left to go check on Navi and she left too, I think she just wanted to get out for some air. I didn’t see her out there though. She’s not in here?”

“No.” Colby immediately grew worried and ran a hand through his hair. “Lemme call her. She doesn’t go anywhere without telling me.”

“Hey, Colby do you mind if I film this for my vlog?”

“No, go ahead I don’t care.” Colby FaceTimed Faith and she picked up for a few seconds, then hung up. “Oh my god… what- where’d she go? Why isn’t she picking up?!”

“Colby take a breath, let’s just tell everyone to keep an eye out for her. Help us look or something.” Corey started, then yelled. “Hey!! Everyone keep an eye out for Faith! We can’t find her!”

Before Colby got to the party, Corey told everyone that they were pulling a prank on Colby and when they announce it to not be alarmed. 

Corey snickered and whispered to the camera. “Colby’s one protective-ass boyfriend. Just in case you guys wanted to know. He’s hella protective. Dev go check on her.”

“Okay.” Devyn ran off to the bathroom and checked on Faith, once she found her and made sure she was alright, she left because she didn’t want to give up her position. 

Colby however was at a loss. He sat on the couch and his eyes watered. “God where is my baby?”

“We’ll find her, buddy. It’s alright. Just- don’t call the cops we have to wait 24 hours.” Jake said. “Where have you checked?”

“I checked my car I checked my apartment I checked everywhere in here.” Colby stood up and checked the closets and everything. Again. “Did anyone see her leave? Anyone know where she went?”

“No, buddy. Corey said she left the apartment building to get some air. Apparently she hasn’t been seen since.”

Colby stood up and quickly left the apartment and out of the front door. Corey followed him with the camera. Colby started yelling out for Faith. “Baby! Where are you? Are you hiding somewhere?! If this is a prank it’s not funny!”

“I don’t know where she is, man,” Corey said, then smirked at the camera, but then frowned when Colby started legit crying as he pulled his phone out. 

“I’m gonna call her again.” Colby sniffled. “I can’t do this, man. I can’t do this she’s so small. I love her so much. Baby? Hello? God she keeps hanging up. Why does she keep hanging up?! Where’s Sam? I’m gonna go see if Sam has any idea what to do right now.”

Corey followed Colby up the stairs and back into the apartment where he sat on the couch next to Sam. “I’m sorry, Colby. I don’t know where she is, man.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t mentally handle this right now. She means so much to me man.” Colby cried. “I don’t- I miss her already, man. That’s my girl.”

-My POV-

I was hiding for a little longer, but when Colby came back in and sat on the couch and started crying I lost it. My heart hurt. So I left my hiding spot and walked into the living room. He looked up and saw me and shook his head.

“No!! You don’t prank me with stuff like this!!” Colby said and everyone in the house laughed and cheered seeing the prank worked. 

“I’m sorry.” I walked up to him and he hugged me, then stood up, picked me up, and sat back down so I was straddling his waist. 

“You’re my baby, I was scared you were kidnapped or something,” Colby mumbled into my shirt. “I love you, don’t scare me like that.”

“You do realize what this means, right?” Corey smirked with the camera in his hand. “Welcome- to the couple’s- prank war!!!!”

“Ooh, couples prank war?” Colby snickered. “I’m gonna get you back then, babe. And you know how good my pranks are you’ve seen ‘em.”

“I have and I’m screwed. I just wanted to get this one in before you killed me with your pranks.” 

“Oh, I’ll get you alright,” Colby smirked. “I’ll get you good.”


	6. Paranormal

“Hey babe.” Colby woke me up one morning. Super early by the way. Early enough for me to be super cranky. 

“Colby. It’s too early. Leave me alone.”

Colby, however, is used to my morning grumpiness. He calls it ‘being possessed by Oscar the Grouch’. So when I’m a moody little bitch in the morning, he has grace, because he knows I don’t mean any of it. 

“Not early enough. I should have woken you up earlier but I was being nice and letting you sleep. Because I’m a fabulous boyfriend like that.”

“What? What do you want at way-too-early o’clock in the morning?”

“Surprise trip to somewhere paranormal and scary?”

“Who? What? Where? And why the hell so early?”

“You’re so cute.” Colby chuckled quietly in the pitch black darkness of the bedroom. “You and me, Corey and Devyn, and Sam and Kat. And we wanna take a couple’s trip to Stanley Hotel.”

“Why do I have a feeling-”

He cut me off, knowing what I was going to say. “Yup, you and I booked room 217. Sam and Kat have 216, and Corey and Devyn have 215.”

“So we have the scariest room in the most haunted hotel and we’re leaving for that hotel now?”

“Yes.” 

“I don’t even have a bag packed, Colby.” I sat up and looked at the door of the bedroom, two bags were packed and ready. “What?”

“I packed both of us already. We can just leave.” Colby grabbed my hand. “Come on! The other two couples have already left and are on their way.”

“Well let’s go then.”

\--

“Bro I’m already getting bad vibes,” Corey said while we walk around the hotel. We got into our rooms and put our bags down, and now we’re all just touring the hotel. 

“Corey you ready to see Lucy again?” Sam pointed the camera at him and he shook his head.

“Oh no, no way. We are not going down to that music hall place.” Corey hugged Devyn from the side. “I gotta protect my baby. We’re not going down there.”

“What if I wanna go down there, Corey?” Devyn asked, making everyone turned towards her in shock and confusion. 

“You- you’d want to go down to one of the most haunted places at the hotel?” Sam asked her. “I thought you didn’t like haunted things very much.”

“Well, this one sounds cool.” Devyn said.

“O-kay…” The group kept walking and eventually we found the basement and Sam told everyone to try and be quiet. “Okay so this is the door we knocked on before and it kept knocking back but there wasn’t anyone behind it.”

“Yeah and didn’t it do that door handle thing, too?” Corey asked. “Like when you put your hand on the handle it stopped clicking but when your hand wasn’t it clicked.”

I took Colby’s hand and interlocked our fingers. He looked down at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just felt like holding your hand.” 

Sam knocked on the door and we all silently waited, and it knocked back three times. Sam opened it and there was no one there. Then when we turned to leave, the handle started clicking again. Slowly Sam turned back around.

“Bro…” Corey nervously laughed. “It did it again.”

“I know.” Sam reached out and rested his hand on the door handle. The clicking stopped. “Okay yeah no, back upstairs.”

Our group rushed back upstairs and laughed a little at what just happened. This hotel is haunted, what more do you expect? It was dark outside, very dark, and everyone noticed. 

“Hey Corey, you ready to go down to the music hall?” Colby asked with a laugh. “I think it’s about time we paid Lucy a visit.”

“Is Lucy- doesn’t she haunt the music hall or something?”

“Yeah, she lived there until she died around sixteen or seventeen years old. It got too cold for her so she went outside and it was so frigid that she died. Now she haunts this place’s music hall.” Sam explained. “It’s one of the most real haunts that Corey’s ever seen, that we’ve ever seen, which is why we want to go back down there.”

“It’s pretty scary though.” Colby said. “But we should take a picture in the mirror. Someone take a picture in the mirror while we’re down there. That’’s how we were able to see Lucy last time, was in a picture.”

Our group made it down to the music hall and opened the door. Everyone was silent. Corey then jumped up and down a few times, a tell-tale sign that something real scared him. 

“Nah bro.” Corey scoffed. “Bro I could have sworn I just heard a little sigh. Like, a little girl sigh. Was that one of you guys?”

All of the girls replied no’s, so it wasn’t us. My thing was, I didn’t hear anything. Damn, this Lucy spirit must really like Corey then if she’s only showing herself to him. 

“Okay hey, here’s the mirror, let’s take a piicture and move on. I don’t think Lucy likes us being down here.” Sam said and he and Colby took a picture in front of the mirror. “Alright, we got a few, let’s go now.”

Devyn was the last person out. It was kind of strange. But anyways, we made it back up to the hallway where our rooms were and stood in front of Colby and I’s room, then went inside once he unlocked it. Sam turned his phone on again and pulled up the pictures. 

“Oh my god, look!” Corey pointed at the screen and a white shadow in the back of the picture was very evident. 

“Sam… none of us are wearing white. We were alone down there no one else was with us.” Kat said. “I don’t like this. It’s so creepy here.”

“I know. Let’s just get this seance in progress. It’s almost one in the morning we’ve got two hours.” Sam replied. 

“Seance?” I questioned, a little uneasy about the paranormal activity suddenly. “I don’t know… you guys can do it… I’ll um- I’ll stay back here.”

“What? That’s unlike you.” Sam said. “I thought you loved all of this stuff.”

“I just- this place is serious. I don’t want to be a part of any of it.” I replied and sat on the bed. Colby sat next to me, confused.

“You really okay?” He asked me. “What’s going on? What’s on your mind?”

“I’m fine I just- I don’t want to do any of that here. I just don’t feel safe.”

Colby nodded. “I can see why you’d feel that way. But baby I’m right here. I’ll be with you the whole time. I’ll even hold your hand the entire night if it makes you feel better.”

I nodded and sighed. “Yeah. Okay, I’m in then.”

“Okay. You sure?” Sam asked. “Because I wouldn’t want to start anything if you didn’t want to be a part of it. Seances are serious stuff.”

“Yeah. I’m in.”

Our group waited till around three fifteen in the morning, then they lit the candles. Shut the door securely, turned the light out, and we all sat in a circle around one single candle. 

“Okay.” Sam sighed softly and nodded. “I’ll ask the questions in here. We can take turns but I wanna see if I can do anything first. Everyone says I’m good at it so. We’ll do that first.”

“Okay. Everyone hold hands.”

I held Colby’s hand rather tightly and Devyn’s on the other side. “Focus your energy on the candle in the middle. Just relax and focus on the flame.”

We all looked at the candle and I took a deep breath, focusing everything I have on the candle. Then Sam asked the first question. “If there is anybody in here with us, we give you our energy and permission to show us a sign you’d like to speak to us.”

Everyone was silent for a moment until I felt an external force almost pull mine and Colby’s hands away from each other. “Oh my god! Was that you?”

“No! What happened?!”

“Guys our hands were just pulled apart. Neither of us did it.”

“I don’t like that.” Corey scoffed. “I don’t like that at all.”

“Let’s just keep going.” Sam said. “Who wants to go next? Colby?”

“No. I’m good. I need a moment to calm down a second.” Colby replied. Which was strange for him.

“I’ll do it.” I said. Suddenly. 

“Okay…” Sam replied. “Focus on the candle in the middle, guys.” 

Everyone was silent and Colby stroked my hand with his thumb gently. Almost like his way of reassuring me. Then I spoke. “If there is anybody in here, show us a sign you are here.”

Nothing happened. Nothing… but the bed creaked. I was the only one to notice it but I kept it to myself. The seance went on and nothing else really happened, so we ended it at four in the morning and left to our separate rooms. 

“Never slept in this hotel before,” Colby said. “We never slept we always stayed up all night.”

‘I know.” I said and yawned. “But I’m hella tired and it’s gonna be hard for me to sleep as it is if you’re not with me.”

~~~~

It’s been two days since the Stanley trip, and Colby’s been acting very strange. Not in a creepy way, he’s just- off. He doesn’t eat as much as he used to anymore, and he’s not as loud and social as he used to be. Like right now, watch, he’s in the bedroom on his phone. I walked in there and sat on the bed next to him.

“Colby, I’m bored. You wanna go out and do something?”

“Not really.” He sighed softly and turned his phone off. “I’m feeling just a lazy day today.”

“Oh… okay.” 

I left the room and sat back on the couch. But do you see what I mean? He’s just- he’s so off. I don’t know what’s going on but I hope he’ll tell me. I got a text from Devyn asking if I wanted to do a video with her for her channel. I accepted, obviously. 

“Hey, Colby?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m gonna go film a video with Devyn!”

“Okay. Have fun. I’ll be here.”

\----

Devyn and I sat on her couch and she looked at me and grinned. “So today’s video is going to be us going through a bunch of questions. We can either answer them- or get a point. The person with the most points at the end of the game has to do something the winner says.”

“Oh god. Devy I’m gonna die.” 

“No, you’ll be fine.” Devyn took her phone out. “Okay the first question for you is, what is one thing you would change about yourself?”

“Mmm.” I sat and thought a minute. “You know, I don’t think there is anything honestly. I mean, I love my flaws, they make me who I am. But if there’s one thing that I think I could change it would be the fact that I’m a clingy person. I just think I’m always with someone and I don’t like being alone. I mean I grew up alone a lot, so I’m used to it, but it bothers me and I’d rather be with people.”

“Wow, what an answer. And I agree, I think I could maybe tone back a bit on the clingy thing as well. But maybe one thing I would have to change about myself is my lisp. Everyone else thinks it’s cute and Corey’s always telling me he loves it, but I just think it would be nicer if I could talk normally. I get funny looks sometimes when I talk to random people.”

“Aww, well I love your lisp. It’s adorable. Okay, what’s the next question? We’re both doing good so far.”

“I’m gonna beat you.” Devyn giggled. “Okay, the next question is, how many guys have you kissed in your life that’s not your dad or boyfriend?”

“None,” I answered. “Colby was my first. And will be my last.”

“Aww.” Devyn cooed, making me instantly smile. “That was adorable, and it’s the same for me. I don’t think I kissed anyone before Corey. That I can remember.”

“Look at us, we’re such great girlfriends.” I said and we both laughed. “Okay, next question. We’re still tied.”

“Yeah we are. Not for long though.” Devyn added. “Next question, what is the first name of your last ex?”

“Oh….” I cringed and we both laughed. “He watches every video I’m in. I have to take the point.”

“Jokes on you, I don’t have one,” Devyn said, and we both cracked up.

“Okay next question, Miss Perfect.” 

My phone went off, it was a text from Sam telling me I needed to come back to the apartment immediately. I showed the text to Devyn off-screen and she told me to go ahead and go, that she would scrap this video and film something on her own. 

So I left immediately to the apartment. 

\----

Sam invited me into his apartment and Colby was sitting on his couch, looking very angered and frustrated. “Colby?”

“What?” He fired back, Sam scoffed. 

“Okay man, I get you’re pissed at me, don’t take it out on her.”

“Colby what- are you okay? What’s bothering you?”

“Sam!” Colby retorted with a raised voice. 

“Why?” I sat next to him cautiously, he’s obviously very triggered and touchy about something. He’s so tense and seems like he could lash out any second. 

“I was on the roof… just looking over the edge at the lights and everything and he fucking yanked me back inside!” Colby explained.

“Because you couldn’t even tell me your name for thirty minutes!!! You just sat there staring at the wall when I brought you in here and when you finally came out of it you started screaming at me!!!”

“I don’t believe you,” Colby said.

“Babe maybe you should,” I told him. “He was scared enough to call me over here when I was filming with Devyn. Maybe you should just take his word and believe him. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I’m not possessed!!!” Colby stood up. “I’m not!! You both are sitting here questioning me like some kind of interrogation!! I don’t remember, okay?! I’m human!! We forget shit all the time!!”

“Colbs, hey, just breathe for a second.” I tried to grab his arm and gently pull him back down but he yanked it away from me and stormed off into his apartment.

“Colby!” Both Sam and I went after him and into his apartment where he slammed his door in front of us and locked it. “Colby we just wanna help you, man!”

“Go the fuck away!!” Colby yelled from behind the door. “Both of you!!”

“Colby…” I started. “Don’t- don’t make me leave this is terrifying me.”

“Leave!! I said leave!!”

“Fine…” I teared up and left, Sam followed after me and we went back into his apartment. Sam shut the door behind us and turned around. I broke down in tears and Sam hugged me tightly.

“He’s gonna be okay. He’ll be alright. This is Colby we’re talking about, right? Colby. He’s gonna get through this.”


	7. home

So, back to Indiana I went. I decided that giving Colby some space to figure all of this out was probably best, so I went home. I’ve got my camera, and am actually vlogging, which is something I never thought I’d do. 

“Hey guys! It’s Faith, welcome back to my channel! Today I’m actually vlogging! I never thought I’d vlog but I mean, what’s the bad thing about doing something new, right?” I laughed as I walked out of the airport. “I called an Uber, they should be here soon. But listen guys, I bet you’ve already noticed, I’m not in Los Angeles anymore. I’m actually in my old hometown Indiana! Small town West Lafayette, man. It’s been a while. Nothing but corn fields.”

I got in the Uber and just kept talking to the camera. They had earbuds in anyway so I didn’t think she could hear me at all. “But I’m taking a little trip back home to visit some family. I haven’t told anyone at all. No one has any idea. I want to go and surprise my big brother, technically my cousin, Brayden first. I asked him just kind of randomly where he was at and what he was doing, you know just a little friendly check in, and he said he just got home and is planning on staying home the rest of the night. Which is fabulous for me, because right now I’ve just arrived. Thank you! Okay, now that we’re out of that car, that lady didn’t hear a word I said. I tried to be nice. Oh well, she’s the one missing out not me.”

I made it to the front door of his apartment building and went inside, up the stairs, and outside the door of his penthouse apartment. “Okay you guys ready? Three, two, one, knock knock Bray!! It’s your little sister!!”

“What?” I heard Brayden run up to the door and he opened it, one earbud in, a backwards hat on, shirtless, and in a pair of grey sweats. He had an Xbox controller in his hand but he dropped it when he saw me at the door. “Sissy! I had no idea you’d be here!”

“That’s the point of a surprise!” I laughed and told him. “You look so good! I can tell that time at the gym is paying off. You look great.”

“Aw, thanks. Hold on I was just playing Fortnite with Zona.” Brayden picks his controller up and spoke into the microphone on his earbuds. “Sorry buddy, gotta go, Faith just surprised me with a visit home and I wanna spend some time with her.”

Bray turned the Xbox off and shut the door behind us, we sat on the couch and I set the camera on the table in the center. “So how have you been? What have you been up to?”

“Work. Lots and lots of work.” Bray snickered. “But I’m doing good, really good. Bella’s working towards moving in and everything is finally starting to look up.”

“Yeah? I said it would, it’s all paying off because you earned it.” I told him, making him smile.

“Damn I missed you. Does anyone else know about you being home?”

“No, you’re the first one. I’m planning on going to Harrison and surprising Katy. She has lunch here in a couple of minutes, maybe I could pull her out and we could go somewhere.”

“Oh, well then go get her.” Bray and I stood up and I hugged him. “I missed you, come home and visit more often.”

“I’m not leaving for a minute. I might stay with Madison.” I said, Bray raised an eyebrow. “I’ll text you about it later, I gotta go get Katy.”

“Alright go ahead then, sis. Love you.”

“Love you too, bub.”

I made it back outside and decided to go and get a rental, so I had an Uber drop me off at the rental place, I picked up a car, a red Camaro, and drove off to Harrison. I set the camera on the dashboard holder so I could still vlog. 

“Okay guys, you just met Brayden, my cousin. We’re like siblings because we’re so close. But anywho, I’m about to go back to my old high school and surprise my little sister. I’m gonna pick her up out of school and take her out to eat then drop her back off. The catch about this school though is that it’s haunted in multiple places. This is the origin for me, guys. This is where all of my paranormal interest started. It’s a bit of a drive from here so I’ll catch back up with you guys when I get there.”

I turned the camera off until I got to the school. I pulled up into the parking spot in front of the front door, and turned the camera back on. “I made it guys! What a throwback. Walking these halls here in a few seconds is going to be madness. I don’t know if they’ll allow me to film so I’ll get back to you again when I’ve got Katy. sorry for all these skips, I’ve gotta respect the rules of these places, they’re the places I grew up in. See you in a bit.”

I turned the camera off and locked it in the car as I got out. I made it into the school and asked the front desk if I could sign Kaitlyn Egan out for lunch. They allowed it and called her to the front. The bell rang for class dismissal and for Katy’s lunch, so the hallways were loaded with students. Some noticed me from my channel and Colby’s and wanted to take pictures. I saw some old teachers I used to have and they stopped to say hi. 

Then Katy saw me and her eyes watered up. “Faith?! What are you doing here?!”

“Visiting my baby sister! What else would I be doing in Indiana?” I hugged her and took her backpack for her as we walked out of the school and to the car. 

“True. And you wouldn’t be visiting mom and dad, they’re not happy with the whole paranormal thing.” Katy said and sat in the car and shut the door behind her. “Is this yours?”

“Nah, it’s a rental. I’m not there yet. Just got my place, then got rid of it, because I was staying with Colby.”

“Was?” Katy looked at me in confusion. I started the car and we kept talking as I drove. “What happened?”

“Well, we went to the Stanley hotel not too long ago. With Sam and Kat, Devyn and Corey, and Colby and I, and we had a lot of sketchy paranormal stuff happen to us. Sam and I are thinking something attached itself to Colby. He’s just acting so violent and angry at everyone, so I left to give him some time to figure all of it out.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Katy sighed softly. “But where are you staying now?”

“I talked with Madison. She said I could come and stay at her place if I needed to.”

“Doesn’t she live with her boyfriend though? Wouldn’t that be like- super rough third wheel for you? I mean how long are you planning on staying? You can’t predict how long it’s going to take for Colby to get over what he’s got right now.”

“I don’t know. That’s a good point though. Maybe Brayden will let me stay at his place.”

“Good idea. Really good idea.”

So I turned the camera on and we kept vlogging. We went to TGI Friday’s and ate, then I dropped her off at home since it was well after the time she gets home off of the bus. Then I called Madison and we talked out the living situation, she said it was okay if I didn’t want to stay with her. Then I called Brayden and asked if I could stay with him and he didn’t even let me finish his sentence before he accepted the offer. 

\-----

The next morning, I woke up in Brayden’s guest room in his apartment, and got a text from Lillian, one of my closest friends I went to school with. She asked if I wanted to join her in attending a meet and greet to one of our favorite bands, Why Don’t We. 

Obviously I accepted and she freaked out because she missed me and we needed to catch up, so she picked me up and we left right away since the meet and greet was two hours away and it started in three hours. I didn’t bring my camera, I wanted this to be a private affair.

Once arriving at the venue, we went inside and awaited our turn to see the five goofy teenage boy members of the band. In the meantime she stole my phone and we took stupid Instagram Story photos with filters on them, then we laughed at ourselves. A few of the fans there happened to notice me and wanted to take pictures, so I took a few but then stopped. I didn’t want to take away attention from the band. 

I caught the eye of a particular member. A tall, blonde-headed, blue-eyed boy with the name of Daniel. We had eye contact for a solid three minutes until I turned to Lilli with a blushed face.

“Did you see that?”

“Yeah! That was adorable!”

“Like- holy cow- I forgot how hot he was.” 

Both of us laughed at my comment and we went up to greet the band members. I said hey to the ones I recognized and hugged them, but when I got up to Daniel, we talked like we had been best friends for life. The conversation just flowed so nicely. 

“Hey stranger.” I said as I walked up to him and hugged him, then we stood and talked a second.

“Oh, judging by the googly eyes you gave me just a second ago, I’m no stranger to you,” Daniel replied with a snicker. “You’re Faith. Colby Brock’s girl.”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Corey hangs out with them. Word travels fast.” Daniel shrugged. “I’d expect you to be with him though, that change?”

“We’re on a break right now. Thought to come back home to my hometown. Pay home a little visit. Just so happened that you guys ended up about an hour away from my actual house.”

“It’s nice to actually meet you in person though.” Daniel smiled, then held up a small sticky-note that was folded in half. “Here’s my number. If you ever just want someone to hang out with or someone to talk to, just send me a quick text. I’ll be right there. Whenever we get back to LA we should hang out sometime.”

“We should.” I smiled back. “Weird question, can I take a picture with you? Would that be strange to ask?”

“Well, you kind of already asked. But no, it’s not weird. First a legit picture, then second we break out the filters and take a stupid picture.”

“Deal.” I smiled again and we took a picture on my phone, a real one where both of us were smiling, then a goofy one where we both had the puppy filter on and one more where he and I had our heads rested on each other. It was so nice. “It was nice to meet you, Daniel! Finally!”

“It was even better to finally meet you,” Daniel said, then pointed to his phone and made a call motion with his hand up to his ear. I nodded as I walked away, Lilli in tow because she didn’t want to leave Corbyn behind. They got three goofy pictures and countless hugs were had between them two. It was adorable.

I made it back to Brayden’s house, he was out at work, and I posted the two pictures I took with Daniel on my Instagram story, then I noticed that Daniel had followed me, liked my recent post, and commented a little heart on it as well. My heart smiled… until… Colby texted me…

\---

~~~~~~  
🌙 Colbs 🐨  
~~~~~~

Seriously?

What?  
You okay?  
I haven’t heard from you since the day I left

Yeah and the first thing I see is you and another guy

Colby it’s not like that

Okay, then what’s it like?

He’s a friend, Colby  
He’s a member of my favorite band  
We just took pictures and talked  
We really hit it off and he’s cool  
I’m sorry I found another friend

Taking goofy pictures in filters is our thing  
You know that

Colby don’t take it personally

Don’t take it personally?!  
You’re my girlfriend!!

You kicked me out!!  
Do you even remember that?!  
You screamed at me to leave!!  
Colby it’s been days!!

I know  
I sent you away for protection

You sent me away crying

I miss you

Mhm yeah I believe that

What?  
What’s with you?

What’s with you, Colby?  
You forced me out of the apartment  
You yelled at me  
You scared me  
And you think I’m just going to let it fly over my head like nothing happened?

I’m sorry  
I love you  
I miss you a lot  
Being lonely hurts

Yeah  
Yeah it does

Babe  
Don’t be like that

Don’t ‘babe’ me right now  
I need a minute  
I need a break

Fine

\----


	8. better half

It’s been about two weeks since that text conversation. I’ve been in contact with Daniel but not often, we’re both busy. Well, mostly him. I’m not doing much of anything. 

It’s around eleven in the morning and after taking a second to calm down after crying over missing Colby, I left the guest room and into the kitchen. Brayden was awake and making an energy drink before heading to the gym. He saw the tear stains in my eyes. 

“You okay?”

I nodded and wiped my eyes. “Yeah. I-it’s nothing.” 

“Nah.” Brayden grabbed my arm before I walked away. “We don’t do this ‘nothing’ shit. What’s wrong?”

“I miss him.” I started crying again and we walked to the couch and sat next to each other. “I miss him so freaking much. Bray, he’s my other half. It- like it physically hurts to be away from him.”

“I’m sorry.” Bray wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry you miss him. He just- he’s in a bad spot right now. Sometimes people need time on their own to be better with someone else.”

“I just- it’s so hard being away from him for so long.” I told him. “I really hate this. I want to help him. I hate knowing he’s in pain and hurting.” 

“I know, you’ve always wanted to help people.” Brayden smiled softly. “But like everything I’ve been here for that you’ve gone through, I believe you could do this. You both will get through this. I know it.”

“Thank you.” I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. “I love you. Thank you for being here for me. You always have been.”

“I always will be. You’re my little sister.”

\----

“Hey Sam.”

“Hey Faith. How you holding up?”

“I’m- holding up.” I sighed softly. “How’s my better half?”

“He’s a mess.” Sam said. “He’s drinking. A lot. And vaping. A lot. He’s always out with Brennen and they go to parties almost every night. He always comes home early though. A couple days ago he texted me and said he hated himself for fucking up your relationship.”

“It’s not all on him.” I said. “It’s whatever attatched itself to him at Stanley.”

“Yeah that’s what I told him. He refuses to believe me.” Sam sighed. “He just texted me, said he’s hearing things close to your voice in his room right now. He’s literally losing his mind out here.”

“What am I supposed to do to help if he won’t let me in?”

“He was crying last night.” Sam told me. “Brennen said Colby asked him how to force yourself to stop crying about something. All of us are freaking out about him.”

“I miss him. I miss him like hell.” I teared up. “I’ve exhausted rereading all of our old texts. I’ve probably memorized all of them by now.”

“He misses you too.” It was quite a minute. “We went on a trip for XPLR not too long ago when you left…”

“How’d that go?”

“He hovered over every high drop he could.” Sam replied, his voice quavering like he was scared. “It’s terrifying me. He doesn’t eat a lot anymore either. It’s like- like he’s given up on life… I’m at a loss… I don’t know how to help him.”

I looked down at my wrists. The pinkish scars consecutively descending down my arm to my elbow. “I’m beginning to know what that feels like…”

“How so?” 

“Self harm… depression… hopelessness… it’s all coming back. Everything Colby taught me to get rid of is coming right back.” 

Sam sighed heavily. “I’m done with this shit. I’m losing my best friend. And Colby’s just letting his girlfriend slip through the cracks. I’m not okay with this.”

“Sam…” I sighed.

“I’m serious. You have a flight booked to LA for tomorrow.” Sam said. “Just paid for it. Both of you are just letting yourselves and each other just dwindle away and I don’t like it. You need to see Colby and he needs to see you, whether you guys like it or not. I’m forcing you to see each other again.”

“It’s not gonna work.” I sighed again. “It’s not. It’s Colby, he’s stubborn. So am I.”

“You mean to tell me if Colby was standing right in front of you, you wouldn’t get emotional and let him in again?”

“He’s my only weakness.”

“And you’re his.” 

I yawned. “Sam it’s late, I gotta get to bed.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow then.” 

“See ya.”

\----

The next morning, I hopped on the plane and took it to LA. Sam picked me up from the airport and drove me to the apartment building. We entered and made it up to right in front of Colby’s apartment door...


	9. happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTS of foreshadowing in this one, so pay attention when you're reading it! =)

“Colby, I’m coming in.” Sam said and motioned for me to sit on the couch. It was strange for me to be back in this apartment but not in the mood I thought I would be. I longed to be in this apartment back home… now I long to leave…

“What?” Colby opened his bedroom door, then saw me sitting on the couch and he froze. His tear-stained eyes watered and he shook his head. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I have to be.” I answered, my voice shaking. “Colby…”

“Don’t.” He choked and bit his lip as tears fell from his eyes and he shut his bedroom door again. I stood up and turned to leave, Sam stopped me.

“Hey, he needs encouragement. Remember? He’s stubborn, he just needs that extra push.” Sam looked into my eyes. “Give him another chance. Please. He needs you. Whether he shows it or not.”

“I can’t really tell.” I said with a sniffle. “Because right now I need him and he’s not showing. I’m here because he needs me, why can’t he do the same?”

I left the apartment again and stood outside of it, just trying to take a second to breathe. Sam came after me. “Don’t leave. Please. We both know Colby- this will blow over.”

“It’s been 3 weeks, Sam.” I retorted. “If it hasn’t blown over now, it won’t blow over later. It’s been long enough. I can’t handle people shutting me out. Especially not him. I wanna stick with it, I really do, but I don’t want to hurt myself.”

“He’s gonna think about this in the future and hate himself for it. I could actually lose my best friend.” Sam teared up. “Please, just- just give him another chance.”

I sighed, pretty heavily, and nodded. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll stay. He won’t let me in where do I stay?”

“My place, in the office, I really don’t mind. We never really use it anyway.”

“Thank you.”

\-----

The next morning, Sam and I were sitting on the couch, just talking and watching some videos. Kat is still asleep so we were just waiting for her to wake up. We had plans to go out for breakfast. 

“Just got a text from Colby.” Sam said and opened the messages he had with Colby. “He asked if you had left yet.”

“Weird. Tell him yes and see what he says.”

“I’m gonna say no and ask why.” Sam said, then typed the message on his phone and nodded. “He said because he wants to talk to you.”

‘Oh.” I stood up. “Well, I’m gonna go over then. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, go right ahead, I don’t care.” 

\-----

I knocked on the door of Colby’s apartment and he opened the door. “I didn’t know you needed me so bad…”

“I do.” I teared up. “I never told you but I’m going through things I haven’t told you or anyone and I need you.”

“Come here.” Colby pulled me in by the hand and hugged me gently, then shut the door behind us. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t know I just- I'm not happy. Or- as happy as I used to be.” I told him. “And I don’t know why. I need you, the goofy and happy you to make it better.”

“Aww.” Colby led me to the couch and we sat together. “I’m sorry. I figured out what was wrong and I fixed it. I’m- I’m still in the healing process but I’ve fixed it. I can be here for you now. I can be here when you need me.”

“Colby, you scared me. That- that wasn’t you.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t me. I’m okay, I’m better. I can help you.” Colby said. “Maybe we could take a trip somewhere. I think just getting away from everything, just you and me, would help you.”

“That sounds good. Just being with you anywhere sounds good.”

\----- (brought this back from the 1st or 2nd chapter =))

“Colby? What is this on my nightstand?”

“A ticket.” He answered with a smirk as he entered the room. “What does it say?”

I teared up and started crying. “Dubai? We’re going to Dubai?”

“Yeah.” Colby hugged me. “I said I’d take you when we got together didn’t I? We’re leaving tomorrow, we’ll be there for a week.”

“I can’t believe this.” I told him with a laugh. “I’ve dreamt of visiting Dubai for years.”

“I know, you told me.” Colby said and released the hug. “So, we gotta pack then, babe. It’ll be a long trip.”

“I’m ready for it.” I snapped a picture of the tickets, mine and Colby’s, and posted them on my Instagram Story. He did too. 

“I got some bags in the closet. Lemme go get ‘em.” 

As Colby left the room, I got a text from Madison.

\-----------------------------------  
~~~~~~  
Madiiiii  
~~~~~~

You’re going to Dubai?!  
There’s two tickets, who’s going with you?

Colby  
He’s the one who bought the tickets

Oh you guys are okay now?

Thank god  
I’m so ready for this trip  
We leave tomorrow, we’ll be there for a week  
Just me and Colbs =)

Aww I’m so excited for you guys!  
No funny business while you’re out there  
You come back and you’re pregnant imma fight him

Lol Madi  
You and everyone else we know  
Believe me, people are lined up to kill him if I get prego

Because you best not  
I get you’re 18 now and it’s legal  
But that doesn’t mean he gets to knock you up

He won’t, Madi!  
Lol okay I got it

Have fun though  
Take lots of pictures

I will  
I need this break with him  
He needs a week with just me  
Somewhere that’s not haunted, abandoned, or his apartment

Yeah that makes sense  
Have fun  
Love you beautiful

Love you too, Madi

~~~~~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand more foreshadowing =)

So, Colby came back into the room with the luggage bags and we got to packing. I helped him with his wardrobe and he helped me with mine, we packed a few necessary things and he slipped a box in his bag that I didn’t see. All the way at least. It was small though. 

“We won’t film much out there.” Colby said and zipped up his bag. “I already told the media and everyone that we’d be a little MIA during the trip.”

“Aww, so it really will be just us?”

“Yeah! Of course it will.” Colby pulled me up off of my knees and grabbed my waist. “You’re my baby, I want some time alone and in private with you. Away somewhere foreign, where everything’s new and different.”

“We can be in our own little world out there.” I smiled up at him. “So it’s literally just you and me.”

“Exactly.” Colby lifted my chin gently and kissed me. “Just you and me. Alone.”

I laughed at his last comment. “I’ve had three people tell me no funny business already.”

“Hey.” Colby smirked. “What happens in Dubai, will stay in Dubai. Who said they had to know?”

“I’m not drinking, Colbs.” I told him with a laugh. “I get it might be legal where we’re going, but I’m not getting drunk.”

“Aw come on! It would be so hot!” 

“No, Colby.” I patted his chest. “Babe if we both get drunk who’s driving us home? Tell you what, I’ll go to clubs with you and we’ll go party, and you can get drunk. Because I don’t want us getting into a wreck because we’re both trashed.”

“Fine.” Colby said, then his hands trailed to just above my ass. “But drinking isn’t the only thing we’ll be doing up there.”

“Colbs.” I snickered. “You need to stop. Sounds like we’re going up to Dubai just to get trashed and have our privacy for… other things.”

“Other things.” Colby laughed. “You’re adorable. But babe there’s a thing called the night-life. We’ll be doing super cool things during the day, but at night we’ll have our fun too.”

“Okay you dirty boy.” I smiled. “Go shower, we’ll be on the plane for a while.”

\-----

The next day, around ten at night, Colby and I were on the plane on the way to Dubai. He’s fast asleep, and I just woke up. His hand is rested on my thigh, where he always puts it when we’re sitting together somewhere. 

I checked my phone and Brayden had texted me and asked how my flight was going. I snapped a picture of my current position with Colby’s hand on my leg, him fast asleep, and my legs over his lap. 

\-----------------------------------  
~~~~~~  
bubby 😇  
~~~~~~

*sends picture*  
That’s how my flight’s going atm  
I just woke up  
Colby’s a late and heavy sleeper  
He’ll be asleep for another hour at least

Sleepyheads

Bray the flight from LA to Dubai is so long  
We have a valid excuse to sleep

I just wanted to say a few things before your trip started

Okay  
Fire away

Don’t do anything dumb  
Not saying you would, but just don’t

Colby asked about going out and drinking  
I told him he could, but I couldn’t  
Just because someone has to drive  
I gotta get him home safely

Listen to you  
Best girlfriend award  
Don’t tell Bella I said that

Nope, wasn’t even thinking about it

But good  
About the drinking thing  
Proud of you  
Now  
There’s one other thing

I think I know what you’re gonna say  
Madison might have beaten you to it

No funny business  
You better not text me the morning you’re back  
Saying you got pregnant over the trip

I’m gonna throw fists  
Not even kidding  
Like, I know you love him  
But I love you more  
You’re my little sister  
You’re eighteen   
And emotionally you can’t handle being pregnant  
I know, because I know you better than you know you  
And you know I’m right about that

Yeah, I do  
And nothing’s going to happen  
I can promise you that  
Mom & Dad already don’t like my choices  
They’d just be ticked off if I came back to LA pregnant  
Colby just woke up  
I love you, Bray, a lot  
I’ll text you tonight  
Or maybe when we get settled in the hotel

Okay, love you lots too  
Be safe, I mean it  
If you hurt yourself I can’t come all the way to Dubai to see you  
But I love you. Again  
Text me tonight to say goodnight

Love you too, Bray  
I will

~~~~~~~


	11. hold me, we're dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this entire Dubai trip with him is something I dreamt of. Traveling anywhere with just him sounds like heaven. 
> 
> maybe one day 🙏💕

“Hey sleepy.” I smiled at Colby when he woke up, his hair was a mess and his eyes were slightly watery. But my favorite part of him in the morning when he first wakes up is his voice. I love his morning voice so much. 

“Hi baby.” Colby sat up and yawned, rubbing his eyes. Everyone on the plane started getting up and grabbing their bags and leaving the plane. “Are we here?”

“Yeah, we’re in Dubai. The view over it as we landed was gorgeous.” 

We stood up and grabbed our bags. “Not as gorgeous as the view in front of me right now.”

“Oh stoppit mister romantic.” We both laughed and left the plane. We started walking down the street and Colby snickered.

“You know you’re in Dubai when all of the taxis are Mercedes Benz.” He pointed to one. “Look, it’s a fucking Mercedes.”

“I see it, goof.” We walked the crosswalk and then down the street. Using Colby’s phone as the map to our hotel. “Man this view, it’s just so gorgeous.”

“It really is.” I took his hand and intertwined my fingers in his. “This sunset is beautiful.”

“I’m not looking at the sunset.” Colby grinned, knowing I’d turn around and look at him. “What? I can’t compliment my girlfriend?”

“I didn’t say that.” I laughed again. “Come on, I wanna get to the hotel, I’m tired.”

“Hey.” Colby stopped walking and pulled me back. He held my waist and leaned down to kiss me. “I love you, like, a lot.”

“I love you too, Colby.”

\-----

We eventually made it to the hotel, and I’m crashed on the bed while Colby dresses after a shower he took. He put sweatpants on but remained shirtless, dried off his hair, and laid in the bed next to me. I had my eyes closed but I wasn’t asleep, so I felt his hands wrap around my hips and he pulled me closer to him.

“Colby.” I smiled softly.

“I wanna hold you.” Colby said. “I just wanna hold you.”

“I’m okay with that.” I turned the lamp off on the nightstand and cuddled into Colby’s chest. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Bringing me to my dream vacation spot.” I said. “You’re seriously the best.”

“Nah that’s all you.” Colby kissed my cheek. “I did this because of you. I wanted to make your dreams come true.”

“You make my most important dream come true every day.” I played with his hair gently. 

“What dream is that?”

“I get to hold your hand, look up into your blue eyes, and call you mine.”

“Babe.” Colby smiled and turned my face to look at him. “You’re my dream. I get to live my dream every day when I’m with you.”

“Colbs.” I teared up a little. “This is why I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Colby leaned in and pressed his lips to mine gently, then pulled away very slowly. “Damn… it gets me every time.”

“Then do it again.” I smiled softly and he kissed me again. He tried to start making out, but he and I yawned at almost the same time.

“Well, fuck that.” Colby snickered. “Nothing’s gonna happen tonight. We’re both too tired.”

“Night Colby.” I buried my face into his bare chest and he rested his hand on my waist where he knows to put it when we sleep. It makes me feel safe and he knows it. 

“Goodnight beautiful. Sweet dreams. I have an amazing day planned for us tomorrow.”

\-----

I woke up the next morning to Colby gone out of the small bedroom. So I got myself up and made my way into the kitchen where Colby was taking a large white box out of a bag. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his bare torso. 

“Hey beautiful. You sleep alright?”

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Eh, not the best, but it’ll probably be better tonight because I’ll be used to it.”

“What’s this?” I asked him as he opened the box, revealing a dozen of mine and his favorite donuts. His favorite being plain glazed and mine being chocolate glazed with rainbow sprinkles. “Colby.”

“Yes?” He grabbed a donut and took a big bite out of it. 

“How the hell did you find donuts out here?”

Colby laughed. “I didn’t find them, I brought them. I knew you’d want something sugary for breakfast and here we are.”

“You crazy boy.” I took a donut and began eating it. “Oh my god, I haven’t had a good donut in so long.”

“I haven’t either.” Colby said after finishing his first donut and starting his next. “So I have some cool things planned today.”

“Mhm, okay like what?”

“Well.” Colby snickered. “I may have found a skydive place.”

“Colby!! I can’t do heights!!”

“Yes you can! With me you can!” He side hugged me. “You’re my girl, you can do anything.”

“Colby.” I hugged him then sighed. “The crazy things I do because I love you.”

“Love you too, babe.” He kissed me. “Now are you gonna actually eat or just take nibbles of one donut?”


	12. majestic

Colby got us a nice rental Camaro to have on the trip, it was slick black and absolutely beautiful. So now we’re just cruising the streets on the rich side of Dubai with the top down, playing our favorite songs in the speaker. Even though I’m on the way to something I know is going to terrify me, I’ve got Colby next to me and a fresh taste of freedom. It’s beautiful. 

“You ready babe?” Colby asked me with a laugh. “We’re gonna be jumping from a plane.”

“Mmm.” I shook my head. “That’s insane. I’m not ready, at all.”

“You’ll be okay.” Colby grabbed my hand as he drove. “We’ll do it together.”

Soon enough, we pulled up to the skydive place. And there was already a plane ready in the back on the runway. Colby pocketed the keys to the car and interlocked my fingers with his as we walked up to the small building. We got our passes and put the necessary gear on that we needed to, and walked out to the back where the plane had started. We had a male and female staff member with each of us because they will be jumping attatched to us so they can pull out the parachute. 

I sat on the plane next to Colby as it flew up into the air and cruised a little higher. My hands were shaking and I played with my hair. Telltale signs I was terrified. And Colby knew that. 

“Hey.” Colby scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “I’ve done this before, this same place too. When I went with Elton and Corey and Sam, remember?”

“Yeah… but I haven’t.” I said nervously. My voice was trembling. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Alright!” The staff member stood up. “Time to jump guys!”

We each got clipped to our designated staff member and stood at the edge of the plane’s exit. I saw how high up we were and my eyes watered. Colby took my hand.

“Jump with me.” Colby smiled. “It’ll be fun I promise.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. Okay, I’m ready.” 

“Alright! Three, two, one, jump!!”

Both Colby and I and our staff members jumped from the plane and started plummeting down towards the ground. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel anything. But it wasn’t anywhere near fear. Not at all. I was filled with an adrenaline so exhilarating that I could barely remember why I was scared in the first place. 

Eventually we landed, faster than I ever thought I would. I landed a ways away from Colby, so when we were unclipped from our jumping partners, I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. 

“You did it!!” He spun me around. “I knew you could!! You looked so happy up there!!” 

“I was!!” I told him. “God I love you. That was nuts.”

“I love you too.” He kissed me then set me down. “Alright come on, our guides have already made it into the building.”

\------

Colby and I were back in the car after leaving the jump place, and he pulled over at a gas station and got gas, then got his phone out and looked up the address of a place called “Walking with Tigers”. 

“Babe?” I raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Okay. So, it’s a place I wanted to go when I was here with Elton, but he said he really didn’t want to go back. He’s already been here.” Colby sighed softly. “He said It’s a place where they hold tigers in cages, drug them up so they won’t be hurting people, then people go in and pet them and stuff.”

“That sounds horrible, why are we going there?”

“Because we’re going to be the only people there showing those tigers real love.” 

\-----

Pulling up to the place… I saw a tiger in a cage back behind the building. It was slumped up against the chain link fencing, and it was the most depressing thing ever. I took Colby’s hand because this was going to be hard. It’s gonna be hard for both of us. Colby has such a soft spot for animals, so do I, and it breaks and warms my heart we’re entering this building right now. 

We got our passes and made it through the doors, to what looked like a jail for tigers. It was outside behind the building so they were outside at least, but these tiger’s cages were lined up like some kind of zoo. Endless corridors of tigers locked up in these giant cages. They weren’t tigers… not at all… they were shells of tigers with a drugged up soul inside of them. 

A man let us into a cage with a fairly large tiger and I was cautious to approach it, we were inches away from a tiger, and it didn’t even look up at us. At all. Like it didn’t even care we were invading it’s space. Colby crouched down next to it and cautiously raised his hand up to pet the beautiful cat, then ever so gently pressed his hand to it’s soft orange and black striped fur and carressed it’s smooth pelt. My heart melted. 

The man who let us in, the staff member, tried to poke the tiger to arouse it and make it more energetic, but it was so drugged it up could barely hold it’s head up. Colby looked up at the man and shook his head. “Nah, it’s alright man. He’s chilling, it’s alright.”

The man left the cage to go check someone else in. Colby and I were alone in a cage with a tiger. A freaking tiger. Colby rested his hand on my shoulder as he saw my eyes water up and tears fall down my cheeks. “You haven’t touched him yet.”

“I don’t know if I want to.” I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “Colby I hate this. This- it isn’t right. I don’t feel right petting a tiger, you shouldn’t be able to just pet a giant tiger like this.”

“Look at it this way, this is the entire reason why I brought you here, baby we’re probably the only ones here showing them real love. We’re the only ones here who are actually caring for these animals and being polite to them.”

I nodded and sat near the tiger’s head and I gently pet it’s neck. The tiger picked up his head and gently rested his head on my lap and that’s what did it for me. I just started crying and gently petting the soft small fur on his head. “I’m sorry they put you through this… you don’t belong in a cage… you belong in the jungle where you can climb trees and swim in ponds and run free and have a family… Colby I wanna do something about this. This doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t think I can leave Dubai knowing these tigers are still here. I can’t go back to LA and go to sleep or eat or anything knowing these tigers are being drugged and probed around and living and dying in a place like this.”

“I know.” Colby said. “Something should be done, but I mean who are we to shut down an entire company like this? All we can do right now is just make sure that today for these tigers, is the day someone came in and showed them what love really feels like. Okay?”

I nodded and wiped my eyes again. I leaned down to the tiger and kissed his head. Colby pulled his phone out and took a picture of my crying self kissing the tiger’s head. “We’re gonna do something about this. I promise. But for now, let’s make sure these tigers know they’re loved and someone cares about them.”

“Yeah.” I said and scratched the tiger’s head. He purred a little, a small little hum of a noise came from the back of his throat. I smiled softly. “You are such a beautiful creature.”

Colby was gentle, but he slowly stood up and took another picture of the tiger resting his head on my lap and me petting him. Then a short video of the pur he let out every time I spoke to him. The tiger picked up his head again and slowly stood up, then sat right in front of me and looked me in the eyes. Colby was getting all of this on camera. 

“You are. You’re a beautiful creature.” I told the tiger and smiled. His beautiful amber colored eyes looked right into my blue ones and I reached out to pet his big chest. His eyes closed at my touch and he laid back down next to me. I looked over at Colby, more tears just falling down my cheeks and I shook my head. “I don’t know what just happened… but I do know that I can’t leave these tigers here. I can’t go home knowing this is happening to them.”

“I know.” Colby took my hand and pulled me up into a standing position and hugged me as we looked down at the tiger peacefully sleeping on the grass under him. “He’ll be okay. We’ll get him out of here, okay? We’ll fix this. Somehow.”

“Okay.” 

Colby led me out of the cage and into the small building again. “There’s something else I want to show you.”

“Colby I don’t know if I can handle anymore,” I told him, he grabbed two passes for the other wing of cages, then walked through the door. There were more cages… but this time instead of large tigers… there were tiger cubs. “Colby…”

“I know, come here.” Colby kissed my temple. “Let’s show these little babies some love, okay? I don’t think they’ve ever felt it before. They most likely were born here and all they’ve ever known are these cages.”

A staff member let us into the cage with a small tiger cub. It wasn’t a baby cub, but a cub that had almost reached adolescence so it wasn’t too young or too old. It was still a baby tiger and it broke my heart. Because tiger cubs in their natural state are rowdy and goofy and always playing with something. These cubs? They were laying on the grass, skinny, and barely even looked alive. Like a zombie of a tiger. My heart broke… again.

Colby and I sat down next to the small tiger cub and gently pet it. It was a little female cub, and it seemed to pick up Colby’s presence because as soon as Colby stroked her small back, she picked up her tail and started waving it around. She got up very slowly and crawled onto Colby’s lap and snuggled her nose into his shirt. She huffed and just lied there. Colby teared up again and pet the small tiger in his arms. 

The tiger looked up at him and raised her paw up to his hand and played with it. She tried to pull it down to nibble on it but Colby instead rubbed her belly whenever she did that. I took a video of the small baby girl tiger playing with Colby and laughed tearfully when she let out a small chirp up at him whenever he wouldn’t let her pull his hand down to her mouth. Colby laughed too. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Colby told the tiger cub. “You just hit a weak spot I never knew I had. Listen, I’m gonna get you out of here. I promise, I won’t let them hurt you anymore. I won’t let this happen. You’ll be okay, alright?”

The cub looked right up into his eyes again and chirped at him. I saw a tear fall down his cheek and he wiped it off, then rested his hand on the tiger’s belly gently. “This shouldn’t be happening to you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to be a tiger. And that doesn’t sit right with me. I’m gonna get you out of here, and safe, okay?”

The tiger cub stood up in his arms and put her small arms on either side of his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. Like she was hugging him. I saw Colby just break. He just lost it and gave up on trying to look and be tough. He hugged the tiger back gently and pet her head with his other hand. “I’m gonna get you out of here. I won’t let them hurt you anymore.”

I snapped a picture of the moment and set the it as my phone wallpaper. I heard a man enter the door of the wing and told another group of people that the place was closing and we had to leave. I rested my hand on Colby’s shoulder. “Colbs we gotta go. They’re closing.”

“I really don’t want to leave her here.” Colby gently pulled the cub off of him and set her back down on the soft grass. She laid down and began cleaning herself with her small tongue. Colby stood up and took my hand, then looked down at the small cub. “I won’t leave without knowing you’re safe.”

We left the tiger place, reluctantly, but sat in the Camaro in the parking lot. He got his phone out, looked up a rescue organaization, and called them. “Babe?”

Colby wiped his eyes. “We’re doing something about this. I can’t leave that little girl in there to fend for herself.”

I listened to Colby talk to the worker on the phone, he gave them the address of the tiger place, but the next thing I heard him say is what softened my heart. “You said you’ll see if you can get out here? Okay no, that’s not how this is going to go. I can call someone else, I really could, but I’m telling you guys about this so listen up. I was just in this place with a tiger cub who didn’t even look like a tiger, okay? These tigers are being drugged, they’re being poked and prodded and mistreated and abused, they look like they’ve never been fed, and they don’t even know how to be a tiger. My girlfriend was face to face with a full grown male tiger and he looked her straight in the eyes and put his head on her lap and purred when she touched him. So you get your crew out here and do something about this. Because these tigers are going through hell out here and that doesn’t sit right with me. Alright? If you guys really care about animals like you say you do, you’ll do something about these fifty plus tigers in this building who are being abused. Thank you. Yes, contact me as soon as you get word. Bye.”

I looked over at him and shook my head as my eyes watered. “Baby… that- that was amazing.”

“That little girl in there?” Colby’s eyes watered too as he started driving away from the building. “I don’t know- she did something to me. She did something to my heart. She’s so small, so little, and she knows nothing of the world outside of that cage. She was so sweet and playful and she shouldn’t have to go through the things she does on a daily basis in there. And that big guy tiger in there, the one that completely submitted to you in that cage, I’ve never seen you melt that fast in my life. It’s time for those tigers to go home. It’s time for that torture to end. I want to see those animals released into the jungles of Dubai, safe and happy and able to live life as a tiger instead of a house pet.”


	13. freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cry warning. all I'm gonna say.

The next morning, at the hotel, Colby woke me up in tears. He was just sobbing and it woke me up immediately. He just put his phone down. “Baby. Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Those tigers-” He choked out and wiped his eyes. “They’re being released today.”

“What?” My eyes watered too. “Wha- how?”

“Because I called.” Colby cried. “I called and I got their attention and I decided it was time for that torture to end. They have a team out there now, the owners of the company were arrested. And they want our help with the release.”

“Oh my god.” I started crying too and hugged him. “Colby those tigers get to go home.”

“I know.” He rubbed my back. “Come on, we gotta go. We don’t need to bring anything, she said just bring yourselves and get ready to save some tigers.”

“Let’s go save those tigers.”

\-------

We made it to the tiny building again, there were large trucks with crates being unloaded from them. Huge crates that already had large bowls of food and a large water bottle in them. These tigers were finally going to taste freedom. The same freedom I tasted yesterday jumping from that plane. There were at least sixty staff members here helping to unload and prepare crates and help with the rescue. 

We met up with the lady and hugged her, then she gave instruction. “Alright so we’re going to start with the big tigers first. Colby you said there was a cub in there you wanted to personally rescue?”

“Yes.” He smiled. “Don’t let anyone else touch her. I want to be the one to rescue her.”

“Alright, will do. She should be in there already. But we need to get the big ones taken care of and put in their crates and loaded into the trucks. They’re all still pretty drugged up so they should be alright to work with. We already had some of the more active ones loaded for your guys’ safety. But go ahead in there and there should be someone in there with leads, he’ll give you one and you can just walk the tiger out here to a crate. Nice and easy.”

Colby and I entered the building and into the large tiger wing. Sure enough, there was a young man about my age who handed us leads and pointed out to the ones they were planning on rescuing last so we wouldn’t touch them. I went right to the cage of the male tiger I saw yesterday and entered the cage with Colby. I crouched down next to his head again and pet him gently. My eyes watered up again. 

“Hey, handsome.” I sniffled. “We’re gonna get you out of here, just like we promised. Come on.”

I slipped the loop over his head and safely just around his neck, then pulled his front legs through so it wasn’t around his neck but instead comfortably around his chest so it wouldn’t hurt him. I very gently tugged on the lead and he stood up immediately. Colby held the cage door open and I walked through but the tiger paused. 

“I think he’s scared,” Colby said. “I would be too, it makes sense.”

“Hey, buddy.” I petted his head. “We’re gonna help you, okay? We’re getting you out of here. I know it’s scary right now but trust me, once you get out there and in that jungle with the trees and the sun and the water, it’ll be so worth it. Come on big guy, it’s okay. There you go.”

With some coaxing, I was able to walk the tiger safely out of the back door to the trucks and a crate. A staff member shut the crate behind him and the tiger laid down in the cool crate and started eating the food that was provided for him in the bowl. I went back to Colby and hugged him. 

“We’re rescuing tigers.”

“Came to Dubai for a vacation, ended up rescuing over fifty tigers.” Colby laughed. “Much better turnout than a vacation.”

Colby got word they were starting to move the cubs, and we immediately went back into the building. “Where’s my girl?”

We found her cage and the small cub was in the back of it, hiding behind a tree. She looked terrified. “Colby. She’s scared.”

Colby and I made our way into the cage and he walked up to the tree and crouched in front of it. She was still hiding behind it. “Hey. It’s me again, princess. I promised I’d get you out of here, I’m right here to do that. You’re not scared of me, are you?”

I smiled softly as the cub walked out from behind the tree, right up to Colby, and tried to climb up into his lap again. Instead, he picked her up, held her in his arms, kissed her head, and started walking out of the cage. She squeaked though when he approached the open door, so he paused a second. 

“You’re okay.” Colby pet her as a distraction as he slowly stepped out of the cage. “We’re gonna go and set you free, okay? We’re gonna take you home.”

We made it out to the trucks and crates, but Colby didn’t want to put her down. At all. The lady let him hold her and she gave us more instruction. “Alright, so we’re gonna have to make two trips. We have more tigers than we thought we did, so you can either stay here and go with the first group or wait and come with the last one.”

“We’ll wait,” Colby said. “I want more time with her.”

“Okay, cool, well we’ll see you guys in a second.”

All of the trucks left the building and in the direction of the thick jungle not too far from the place. I sat with Colby in the grass outside of the building in the shade under a tree, and we played around with the little cub since the drug she was on seemed to start wearing off. She was going back to being an actual tiger and it warmed my heart. She sat in his lap and licked his hand and rubbed her head up against it as Colby and I talked. 

“I did some thinking.” Colby started. “I want to get her pawprint as a tattoo on my chest.”

“That’s an awesome idea,” I said. “I think you should do it.”

“I wanna FaceTime Elton.” Colby got his phone out and called Elton, who picked up almost immediately. “Hey, Elton!”

“Hey, Colby. I saw those pictures and videos on your Instagram. It’s awesome you went back there to show those tigers some actual love and support.”

“We did more than that, Elton.” Colby zoomed out the camera and showed him the little tiger cub playing with his hand on his lap. “We got people out here. We got the business shut down and the tigers are being released as we speak.” 

“Oh my god, no way.” Elton laughed. “Colby that’s awesome! Proud of you, buddy!”

“And this one…” Colby kissed her head. “Is going to have her pawprint tattooed to my chest.”

“Is that the one that hugged you in the cage?”

“Yeah. she was the inspiration for the entire rescue.” Colby told him. “And Faith here said she didn’t want to go back to LA knowing these tigers were going through what they were, so we’re on site right now of these tigers being taken back to their natural homes.”

“You went out there for a nice and relaxing vacation and ended up rescuing tigers.” Elton laughed. “You guys- sometimes- you crack me up. But that’s amazing. I gotta go to a meeting for Send It, we’re coming out with new merch, so keep me updated.”

“Will do.”

\------

The group came back and Colby asked the lady if it would be alright to get the cub’s pawprint somehow. The lady said yes and got some animal safe paint, black paint, and put it on the tiger’s paw and pressed it to a blank piece of paper. I don’t think I’ve seen Colby smile any bigger in my life. We cleaned off the cub’s paw, then the lady said it was time for her to go home. They had already found a female tiger who would take in the cub once they got them out to their habitat. 

So Colby and I personally drove the cub, who Colby had named Sapphire because of her eyes, to the jungle. We were driving behind the trucks and Sapphire was sitting on my lap watching out the window as we drove. Colby kept looking over at her from the road to make sure she was okay. It was the cutest thing I think I’ve ever seen. Eventually, we made it to the outskirts of the jungle and were instructed to follow the guides walking the female tiger into the trees. Once we were in far enough, the guide took the lead off of the female tiger and set her free, but she wouldn’t go anywhere knowing that Sapphire wasn’t set off yet.

Colby’s eyes watered and he kissed her head. “I’ll miss you, Sapphy. Love you.” 

Colby set her down, took the lead off of her, and she ran off with the female tiger and we watched them disappear into the trees as fas as we could until they were out of view. We followed the rescue group back to the place and we all said our goodbyes and thank you’s for helping rescue the tigers. Then we left… knowing those tigers were home. Those tigers were free of long metal rods poking at them all day, they were free of people invading their space every day, they were free of being zombified with drugs every single day. 

They were free.


	14. oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new character in this chapter! I think you guys will like him! he's got a big personality =P

After saving the tigers, we figured our work and time there in Dubai was over. So, we’re home now. Colby just got his tattoo… and I ended up getting one too. It’s a tiger cub face with bright blue sapphire eyes. Right now, Colby is out with his friends Mike and Elton, and he sends me an interesting text. I pick my phone up and read it, and immediately raise an eyebrow. 

\-----------------------------------  
~~~~~~  
Colbs  
~~~~~~

Do we have an extra blanket?  
Like, a big thick blanket?  
Look around the apartment for me please

Yeah  
I just found one in the closet  
Why?  
Everything okay?

We may have a new guest staying with us

Colbs if you bring home a dog

Way to ruin the surprise   
*sends pic of black shepherd*  
Mike and Elton and I found it on the street  
It’s hella skinny and super dehydrated  
We’re taking it in to the vet right now  
Do you think you could set up a bed for it?

Yeah for sure  
Babe are we keeping it?

I plan on it  
Why?

Good  
I wasn’t gonna let you leave it there

Damn we’re both so soft for animals

You know it  
A tiger face permanently covers my arm Colby  
I would hope I like animals  
Lol but yeah I’ll set up a bed for it out here  
Is it a girl or a boy?

Lol it’s a boy  
I wanna name him Demon

Love it  
We have a son, Colby!

Oh god don’t take it like that  
Jeez I don’t want any kids right now  
I can barely wake myself up in the morning  
Let alone a child

Colbs just get him in  
He looks terrified and starving  
The vets will give you guys food for him, right?  
I can go pick some up right now

No yeah they’ll give us stuff where we’re going  
Should give us a collar and a leash too

Okay  
So his bed is set up….  
On our bed…

Babe!

Colbs he’s a shepherd!  
You know those are my favorites!

Baby you know I want to sleep with my girlfriend  
Not a furry animal  
He can sleep in our room, but our bed’s too far  
Maybe someday he’ll graduate up to the bed  
Maybe  
Doubt it

Colby  
=(

He’s not sleeping on our bed

Please??  
=(  
=(  
=(  
=(  
=(  
=(  
=(

You’re gonna send me sad faces until I say yes

=)

He sleeps on your side  
If he comes between you and me I’m kicking him off  
I hold my girlfriend at night not a dog

I love you

Love you more baby  
Okay vet’s in  
Gotta go

Bring our son home safely!!

Oh my god he’s not our son!!!

Sapphire isn’t our daughter then

You take that back  
She’s our little girl  
We rescued her together  
She’s got tattoos on each of us  
Like any kid would

I could get a tattoo of Demon’s pawprint

You better not  
Yet  
In the future maybe we both will  
Seriously babe, I gotta go

Love you  
See you in a bit

~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t like this.” Colby pouted. “He’s already in between us. I can barely put my arm around you.”

“I think it’s cute.” I kissed Demon’s black fluffy head and scratched behind his pointed ears. He sat upright between Colby and I on the couch with his tongue out. Just happily and peacefully sitting… between Colby and I. “He has a home now, he’s happy. Look at this face, how could you be mad at this face?”

Colby glanced over at Demon for a little bit, then snickered and patted his head a few times. “He’s so goofy.”

“He looks badass,” I said, then Demon laid his head on my lap and put his butt on Colby’s. I just cracked up at the priceless facial expression Colby made. 

“Okay if he farts on me he goes back on the street.”

“Colby! Don’t say that about our son!” I hugged Demon.

“Oh my- woman he’s not our son for the trillionth time!”

“Fine! He’s my son then!” I said. “You’re not the dad. How do you feel about that?”

“Well you didn’t go sleeping with any other guy for him so I’m just fine.” Colby said and we both laughed. 

“True. True.” 

\---

Later that night, Demon had jumped up on our bed as we were getting ready to go to bed, and he sprawled himself out on the large bed. Colby sighed softly and snickered. “Okay big guy, move over.” 

Colby pushed Demon over to the edge of the bed where I used to sleep. Demon picked up his head and let out a low grumble at Colby. “Babe he hates me already. I was the one to rescue you, dude! I picked you up off that street! You treat her better than you treat me and you’ve only known her for about two hours!”

“Colby.” I pouted. “Be nice.”

“Me?!” Colby scoffed with a laugh. “I’m the one who has to be nice?!”

“Yes,” I said, and laid on the bed next to Demon. Leaving space for Colby next to me. “You still get to sleep right next to me, he’s not doing you any harm.”

“I think he is.” Colby yanked his shirt off and tossed it to the basket across the room. Then he climbed into the bed next to me and pulled me closer to him. “He growled at me because I moved him over so I could still sleep on the bed next to my girlfriend.”

“I love you.” I rested my head on Colby’s chest. “A lot.”

“I love you too, baby.” Colby kissed my forehead and yawned. Both of us eventually falling right to sleep. 

A few hours later, I woke up in tears. I didn’t even know why, until I put thought into it and found the source. “Colby.”

He’s a heavy sleeper, he definitely didn’t hear me. I sniffled and patted his chest a few times. “Colbs.”

“Mm?” He’s half asleep. 

“I miss Sapphire.” I cried quietly. “A lot.”

“Baby she’s home living a free life in the jungle with her momma right now.” Colby yawned but rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. “She’s okay. I promise. She’s probably sleeping right now safely with momma tiger.”

“I just miss her.” I cuddled into his chest. “I want a little girl.”

Colby paused. “I’m not getting another dog. That one over there got lucky.”

Through my tears I managed a small giggle. He’s always been able to do that, make me laugh when I’m literally crying. It’s one of the reasons why I love him so much. 

“I didn’t mean an animal.”

“Oh.”


	15. broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> built-up emotion...

-3rd person pov-

Early the next morning, Demon was sitting at the front door of the apartment whining. Surprisingly, it woke Colby and not his girlfriend who’s a lighter sleeper than he is. So he got up and took Demon down to the designated dog spot on the roof of the apartment building where Demon did his business, and ran around and explored a little bit. He got a call from Corey so he picked up, remembering how long it’s been since he’s seen his goofy best friend.

“Hey man.” Colby yawned. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see how you were, brother. It’s been a minute.”

“We got a dog.” Colby snickered at how bluntly it was said. “Elton and Mike and I found a stray and now he’s Faith and I’s dog. He’s a black shepherd and Faith’s so head over heels for him that she’s called him her son.”

“Oh god. Good luck with that one.” Corey laughed through the phone.

“On that note, she said something last night. I don’t know how to take it.”

“Alright, lay it on me bro. Let’s see if I can help you figure out your girlfriend.”

“Thanks, Corey.” Colby laughed. “But she said she missed Sapphy, which makes sense. Then she said she wanted a little girl. I made a joke because I didn’t know how to react and said that I wasn’t getting another dog because Demon got lucky he was our dog. But then she said she didn’t mean an animal.”

“Oh.” Corey paused. “So she like-”

“She wants a kid. At eighteen years old.” Colby explained. “I don’t. I mean- I can’t handle a kid right now. I can’t mentally and emotionally handle having a baby in the house. But she wants one so bad. I don’t wanna like, break her heart. I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to hurt her.”

Corey sighed. “She like- she really wants a kid? Like, she wants to have a baby at eighteen years old?”

“Yeah.” Colby sat on one of the benches and Demon ran up and nuzzled his nose in Colby’s hand on his lap, so Colby pet him and Demon ran off again after seeing a bird land on the turf. “What am I supposed to say? How do you tell your girlfriend you don’t want a kid without hurting her heart, you know?”

“Yeah.” Corey sighed again. “I don’t know man, I’ve never been in that situation before. But I mean, she’s your girlfriend and she loves you. So I feel like if you sat down and talked to her about the subject, you should be able to get your feelings out without hurting anything or anyone. And I feel like if she really loves you, man, she’ll understand.”

“Wow, that’s really good advice. Thanks, buddy.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome. Anytime, man. Alright Devyn and I are going to the gym together, so I’ll text you sometime today.”

“See ya, Corey.”

“Bye.”

Colby pocketed his phone again and sighed softly, knowing of the talk he was going to have to have with his girlfriend. He didn’t want to hurt her, at all, he puts her in such a high place emotionally, but he has to tell her respectfully he isn’t mentally ready to have a kid. He’s only twenty-one and he’s planning on living life a little bit more before getting married let alone having a kid. 

Once Demon was satisfied with his time outside, Colby took him back to the apartment where he immediately jumped up on the couch and laid down. Colby went to the bedroom and closed the door behind him, then laid back down in the bed with his girlfriend. 

-Faith's pov-

I was woken up slightly by Colby getting back in bed. I have no idea where he went or where Demon is, but I’m honestly too tired to care at this point. Colby sighed, and even though it was quiet, there was a lot behind it. So, my half asleep self spoke to him.

“Something’s bothering you.” I said. “I can tell.”

“Yeah.” Colby replied, then looked down at me and smiled a little. “But I can wait to talk for when you’re a little more awake.”

“I’m awake, what are you talking about?” I forced myself to wake up and I sat up with Colby. 

“How painful was that? Forcing yourself to wake up?”

We both laughed. “Pretty painful. What’s up? That sigh sounded pretty loaded.”

“Usually is.” Colby honestly replied. “I overthink a lot.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“You said something last night that’s been on my mind a lot since you said it.” He started. “But I wasn’t sure how to talk to you about it since I’ve never been in this situation before. So I might have to wing it.”

“Okay. well, what’s on your mind then?”

“So, you said last night how you missed Sapphy right?”

“Yeah, because I do,” I answered honestly. “What about it?”

“Then you said you wanted a little girl and I made that joke about not getting another dog and how Demon was lucky he was even with us, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you said you didn’t mean an animal. Like- you actually wanted a daughter.” He said. “And I was just wondering how serious you were about that.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.” I started. “I mean- yeah, I’m pretty serious about it. Why?”

“Damn it’s awkward. I didn’t want this talk to be awkward.” Colby sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “I don’t know how to say this without hurting you. I don't want to be the bad guy and I don’t want you to feel like the bad guy because you’re not.”

“Just say it. You’re okay.”

“I don’t- I’m not- mentally ready to have a kid right now.” Colby said. “I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

I paused, unable to find a safe reaction to the information. “It’s okay. I mean, it’s valid. It makes sense. It’s okay baby, you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. I can wait.”

“Oh thank god.” Colby sighed in relief and hugged me. “Thank you, for understanding. You’re the best.”

It wasn’t until I was sure he couldn’t see my face did I let the tears roll down my cheeks…

“You’re welcome.” I answered and wiped the tears from my cheeks and left the room. I found Demon on the couch and sat with him. Somehow he felt the emotion just radiating off of me and stood up on the couch and sat next to me. He licked my cheek and cocked his head at me like he was confused or showing sympathy. I pet him gently. “I’m okay, buddy. I just- I’m trying to process something that doesn’t wanna be processed.”

I have to accept it. It’s such a valid reason. I don’t even know where the desire to have a kid came from. I have no ide- wait. It was in Dubai, when I saw Colby with Sapphy. The way he held her and talked to her, like she was his everything. He was so very protective over her small self and it made me think about what he would be like if we had a daughter. 

I sighed heavily, not meaning for anyone to hear it. My eyes watered again and Demon laid his head on my lap. Like he knew I just needed some support. 

“Now you’re sighing.” Colby got up and stood in the doorway of the bedroom. I didn’t look at him. “Baby? You’re upset, you’re unhappy with me now. You won’t even look at me.”

I didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t want to be upset with him, but I had to be upset with someone. I guess I’m upset at myself. I can’t get away from myself. Colby ran a hand through his hair and walked behind me and the couch and hugged me from behind. 

“Don’t be upset with me. I’m sorry.” Colby sighed and buried his face in my neck. 

I didn’t know what to say. Again. How am I supposed to tell him I’m not sure who or what to be upset with, and he’s on the list. No matter how much I don’t want him to be. 

“Babe.” He tried to get my attention. “Don’t ignore me, say something. I feel bad.”

“I don’t know what to say, Colby.” I told him. “Because I don’t know how I feel.”

“I think you do.” Colby sighed softly. “You’re upset with me but you don’t know how to tell me.”

“And you can read my freaking mind.”

“Usually do. It’s a gift. Happens when I’m your boyfriend.”

“As opposed to when you’re not and you can’t read my mind.”

“Don’t even joke about that.” Colby laughed softly. “But seriously. Don’t be upset with me. I’m sorry, I just want to wait a little. I want to live life a little more without having to worry about where my kid is and who she’s with and what she’s doing and if she’s safe. You know what I mean?”

“You took to Sapphy like that.” 

“The way I was around Sapphire wasn’t a bad thing.” Colby said. “I had a reason to be so protective and possessive over her. She was a baby. She didn’t have anyone or anything to properly take care of her and show her love.”

“But all of that changes when an actual little girl is brought up.” A tear fell down my cheek and I shook my head. “It’s okay. I get it. I understand.”

“Baby.” Colby sighed and stood up. “You know, you haven’t been yourself. Before the trip to Dubai we thought it would help and everything would go back to normal, but you’re still in this funk.”

“I know, okay? You don’t think I’d notice I’m not myself? I know, okay?” I retorted, rather rudely. My heart ached. “Sorry…”

“I’m trying to help.” Colby frowned. “I spent more time with you, I tried to take you someplace you’ve always wanted to go, we did something amazing together, we got a dog, nothing’s working.”

Now he’s upset… great… there goes my heart. 

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. I stood up as well as Colby. “I don’t know what’s going on or what’s going to help or who’s helping and who’s not or what I’m even thinking anymore.”

Colby looked down and sighed heavily. “I’m gonna say something and you can’t be upset because both of us know I’m right.”

“Say it.” 

“This isn’t working,” Colby said. “As much as I don’t want to admit it. We had it good, we were loving life together, but it’s turning into something else. I can’t watch you lose yourself it’s too painful. You’re an amazing girl, you really are, but I feel like maybe… maybe this- us- just isn’t a good idea.”

I nodded and looked down. The pieces of my already broken heart being crushed with every word he said. “So… this is it then…? No- no coming back from it this time? No… break then coming back?”

“It’s just not working,” Colby said. “You can keep Demon since you’re so close to him already… but- I feel like this is the best decision for us. It’s just- it’s changing you. You’re not who you used to be.”

“You’re not wrong,” I said and sighed softly. “I’ll um, I’ll pack my stuff I guess…”

\---

Out of sheer luck, I found a dog-friendly hotel. I don’t know where I’m going from here honestly. All I know is that my heart is broken… my mind is confused… and I already miss him…


	16. rebound?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bringing back some old characters! =)

“Faith? Man it’s been a minute. You okay?” 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know who else to go to. I don’t know anyone else in LA.”

“Yeah, what’s up? What can I help you with?”

“We broke up.” My voice cracked as I teared up. “And I need a place to stay. I can’t go back home to Indiana. I’d feel too defeated and I can’t emotionally handle that right now.”

“Yeah, you can come stay here. We’ve got an extra room in the house.”

“You’re my lifesaver. For the second time.”

\---

“Whoah! That dog looks epic.” 

“Sorry if you didn’t want dogs here…” I sniffled. “I didn’t know where else to put him so I kept him with me.”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t need to apologize for anything.” 

\------

All night long, Demon would pick his head up and growl at every sound even inches from my door. Living in a house of five other guys triggers every inch of Demon’s protectiveness. He’s been like that since we left Colby’s. 

He won’t let me even go to the bathroom alone, he’ll sit outside the door and wait for me to be done, then he’ll walk with me back to the bedroom and make sure the door was shut all the way before I laid down. Then he’d sit by the door and make sure everyone was asleep and everything was silent before coming to the bed and laying down himself. He’s my protector at the moment. And I can’t say I hate it.

I woke up the next morning in a cold bed. It was lonely. I went from waking up to warm, strong arms around me to nothing at all. There was a knock on my door and I sat up a little. Demon picked his head up from the end of the bed and growled a little. 

“It’s Jonah.” He said. “Daniel told me what happened. Just thought you’d want someone to talk to. You know, if you’re awake at all. I could just be talking to this door like an idiot.” 

Somehow I found the ability to laugh a little bit. “You can come in. as long as you don’t mind dogs.”

“I love dogs.” Jonah came in and smiled seeing Demon sitting on the bed. I sat up and pet his soft black fur. 

“It’s okay buddy, he’s friendly.” I told Demon, then sat back and gave Jonah a space to sit on the bed. 

“You okay?” Jonah asked me slowly. “I know this is a lot. We’ve only ever talked online and now- now you’re in my house.” 

We both kinda chuckled at that. “I mean, I’m okay I guess. Just blindsided me. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“You think you know everything until something else happens and all of your plans are completely thrown off.” I scoffed slightly. “I didn’t expect it from him. At all. I thought we were- I thought that was it. I told myself that it would be different this time, that all of the pain and the waiting and the patience I had to go through would be worth it. Looks like it wasn’t.”

“Well… it wasn’t all bad. If you hadn’t gone through that you wouldn’t be sitting right here with me.” Jonah smiled. 

“Yeah. I guess that’s true.” I managed a smile too. “I just- we went through so much together. I put him higher than everything else in my life. Only to have him push me away. I don’t know how I’m supposed to recover or forget about that.”

“It’ll be hard. It’ll be really freaking hard I know what it’s like. But if I know anything about you from over the time we’ve talked, is that you’re a lot stronger than you think you are.” Jonah told me, looking right into my eyes. “You’ve gone through rougher oceans than this one. I believe with some time you can do it. I know you can.”

“Jonah.” I scoffed and looked down, eyes filling with tears. “I’ve told you trillions of times before and I’ll say it again: You have all of the right words to say to make everything feel okay again.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a gift.” Jonah gave a goofy smile. “Plus, I think over two years I’ve got you figured out.”

“You think so? Just maybe?” We both laughed at my comment.

“Daniel’s worried about you.” Jonah bluntly said. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything. So I said nothing if he asks. But it’s so very obvious you might notice yourself.”

“He is?” I felt my face grow hot. 

“Yeah. He’s in his room, you should go say hey. He texted this morning and asked if you were up yet.”

\---

I knocked a few times on Daniel’s door, quietly. “Yeah? Who is it?”

“It’s me.” I replied.

“Oh, come on in.” Daniel got up and opened the door for me. “Hey. You okay?”

“No.” I scoffed and he took me into his room and we sat on his bed. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling nervous or hesitant to do anything. 

“So why’d that loser drop you? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“He said I wasn’t myself. That our relationship was changing me.” I told him with a sigh. “He’s not wrong.”

“Yeah… you’re a little off. Not as goofy and carefree.” Daniel said. “But you were head over heels, what even happened?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was happy until I looked up and- I wasn’t.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. That probably made no sense whatsoever.”

“It did though.” Daniel shot a soft, sympathetic smile my way. It made me feel a little more comfortable with him. “You’re not as odd as you think.”

“Well, I’m odd, but not in a bad way.”

“Hey, there she is.” Daniel smiled. “Got a little glimpse there. I loved that. But I’m guessing Jonah already talked to you?”

“Yeah. I feel a little better.” I said and sighed softly. “It’s gonna be a while.”

“Yeah, don’t rush yourself. Don’t get upset with yourself if you can’t get over it right away. No one’s expecting you to. I’ve seen you come back from worse things. You’ve got this one in the bag already.” Daniel encouraged me. “This one’s tough, but you’re tougher, and we’ll be here to help if you need it.”

“Now you know why you’re my favorite.” I told him, looking right up into those beautiful ocean eyes. 

“Aw.” Daniel side hugged me. “Yeah, I guess I do, huh?”

\---

“What happened?” 

Daniel and I camw downstairs to a massive spill on the kitchen floor. There were three towels on it already and three boys who were just cracking up and one very red faced Jack. 

“So- I went to grab a cup of milk, right? And had it halfway poured when Zach came up behind me and tazed me and scared the living hell out of me and I dropped my cup and the entire milk jug. Which is now all over the floor.” Jack explained, then everyone exploded in another fit of laughter. 

Including me, somehow, despite what I had just gone through. 

Jonah looked up at me and grinned. He mouthed, “You’re already getting better.”

“You boys.” I shook my head. “You’re crazy. All five of you are nuts.”

Suddenly I felt a poke at my side and looked down, seeing Demon standing right next to me. All of the boys but Daniel and Jonah reacted. “We have a dog?!”

Corbyn walked up to him. “Is it okay if I pet him? Is he nice? He looks like he might bite my face off.”

“No, you’re okay.” Corbyn pet Demon and Demon wagged his tail and stuck his tongue out. “He likes you guys already.”

“Probably because three out of the five of us have already made you laugh. He has no reason to be protective.” Jonah said. Daniel scratched behind Demon’s ears seeing as he was standing in between us. Demon’s between Daniel and I… just like he did with me and Colby. 

My phone went off in my pocket and Demon let out a low growl. Jack laughed softly. “Okay so he doesn’t like phones. Noted.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sighed, seeing Colby was calling me. “No, because he’s calling.” 

I showed Daniel the screen and he sighed too. “Just go see what he wants. If he ends up being a dick then hang up.”

“Damn Daniel.” Zach laughed. “Sudden language.”

“It’s appropriate with this kid.” Daniel said as I left the kitchen and went into the front entrance room so I could talk. 

-Daniel’s POV-

As soon as she left and picked up the phone, I ‘went upstairs’ but really not all the way up. Because I want to hear what the coversation’s like. I want to know if this guy upsets her. Because if he does I’m gonna lose it.

-My POV-

“What?” I said when I picked up.

“I was just making sure you found somewhere to go.” I heard other voices behind Colby in the background. 

“You at a party or something?”

“No. Sam and Corey and Elton came over. We’re planning our next TFIL roadtrip.”

“Well you have fun with that.” I rolled my eyes a little. “And yes, I’m staying with… a relative. I’m fine.”

“Good. Sorry for bothering you I guess. Damn.” Colby hung up and so did I. I set my phone down in my lap and sighed heavily. Demon came trotting in at the perfect time and looked up at me with his blue eyes. 

“That was rough.” I told him and pet his head. “Why does he care if I have a place to stay? He’s the one who kicked me out.”

Demon seemed to huff in agreement. It was cute and I felt like he was actually listening to me. “You know, I’m glad he let me take you. You probably would have bitten his face off if he hadn’t. You’re my protector, huh? My little bodyguard. You just wanna keep me safe, huh?”

He laid his head on my lap. “These guys are nicer, buddy. I promise you that. They won’t hurt me like he did. I know you don’t like sharing me, but when it comes to Daniel you might have to. It won’t be like how it was with Colby. He’s super nice and gentle and careful. He cares about me, and so do you, but that doesn’t mean you have to get between us, okay? I’m trying to keep him around me, not feeling awkward if you’re right there next to me.”

Demon grumbled a little. “Hey, stoppit. Moody. This is hard for both of us, okay? And I know it might take a minute for you to allow me to let someone else as close as I let Colby, but you can trust Daniel. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless it hurt me. So, if you think about it, you both aren’t so different. Other than the fact that you’re kind of a dog and he’s kind of a human. Hey, when was the last time you went on a walk? Let’s go on a walk together.”

-Daniel’s POV-

I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about me.


	17. thinker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're gonna love me

I took Demon out for a walk, but I didn’t take the leash. He really doesn’t need it. Because honestly if we’re in public, he’s gonna want to be right here with me because he’s protective. He’s been right at my heel this entire walk, watching everything that happens around me, eyeing every person who gets close to me,

“Hey, buddy, you can take a second to be a dog you know?” I laughed down at him and he looked up at me. “Don’t give me that look, mister. You know I’m right.”

We kept walking and Demon’s demeanor tensed up. A group of girls approached me… wearing Sam and Colby merch. There was about four of them and they were asking questions. 

“Colby said you guys broke up.”

“Did you see the Tweet he sent out?”

“He posted on his Instagram story that he’d be off of social media for a while.”

“Did you guys fight? Did you hurt him?”

“You hurt Colby, he’s not himself. You broke his heart.”

“You’re such a bitch I bet you’re living on your own all lonely now. You deserve it.”

Demon growled and barked at the girls. ‘You guys better clear out. He’s not nice to people who bother me.”

The girls left after a few last insults and went on their way. I shook my head and called Colby. He picked up the first ring.

“What’s up?”

“Your fans are bitches.”

“Whoah, hold on, what happened?”

“A group of them just came up to me and had the nerve to say that I hurt you. They called me a bitch and said I deserved to live alone and they were pissed that I apparently broke your heart.”

“Wow. I’m sorry that happened. I’ll say something else to them.”

“No, you know what, I don’t care anymore. It seems like the entire community you’ve got going on there. With all of your buddies and their girlfriends and your fans are just jerks. You guys only care about yourselves. So I’m gonna be the same way. The next time a fan of yours comes up to insult me like that I can’t promise I’d keep my mouth shut.”

I hung up and pocketed my phone. I looked down at Demon and scoffed. “Damn. Why do people suck? Seems like dogs are the only decent creatures in this world.”

Demon and I made it to the pier and walked to the very edge of it. I sat on the ledge with my feet hanging over the water. Demon sat next to me and I put my arm around him and laid my head on his shoulder. He protecively straightened his posture and grew more alert. 

I guess my parents were right. And I hate admitting that. They said that Colby was bad news and I shouldn’t pursue a relationship with him. I didn’t listen and I got my heart shattered into a million pieces. Eventually I have to tell Madison what happened. And Brayden. Oh shit, maybe not Brayden. He’s going to lose his mind. I literally cannot guarantee Colby’s safety if I tell Brayden what happened. 

I sighed and looked out at the sunset on the ocean, just trying to run through everything in my head. I told myself it was okay, that I was in a safe spot in life right now. I’m recovering and it’s okay to take some time off from trying to figure out life. I told myself that it was going to be alright, I’m just in a tough spot, but it’ll get better like it always does. That the storm never lasts too long before the sun comes out.

\----

I made it back to the house and as I was getting ready for bed, Demon caught a scent of something and barked at my bag. I have no idea what he was barking at but I opened it anyway and Demon buried his nose in my clothing and pulled out a hoodie. One of Colby’s hoodies. His American flag hoodie he loves so much yet he gave it to me because I said I loved it more. 

I reached out and grabbed it but Demon growled when I tried to take it from him and pulled back. “Demon give it.”

He growled louder and pulled further back from me. “Demon seriously. Give it here.”

I tried to yank it away from him but I heard a loud rip and we both dropped it in shock. I picked it up and saw the rip was in the sleeve, it almost completely ripped off of the hoodie. My eyes watered and I sat on the floor holding the hoodie. 

I looked down at it and just started crying. “Why did it have to end?”

Demon whimpered a little and laid next to me on the floor. I looked over at him and rested my hand on his head. “You liked him secretly, huh? He rescued you. You can’t really destroy that bond with a dog.”

I lifted the hoodie up to my face and buried my face into it, breathing in the scent of Colby’s cologne. I loved it so much I memorized the name of it. It’s from Hollister. Beacon’s Beach. 

“I didn’t want it to end.” I cried, though it was muffled. “I never wanted it to end. Now- now everything’s gone. It’s all gone.”

Demon laid his head on my lap as I just sobbed into the hoodie. I just let out all of the emotion I had pent up. “I miss you! I miss you so fucking much! Why’d it have to all… fall… apart…”

Demon got up and jumped up on the wall and flicked my light switch off, then walked back over to me and nudged me towards the bed. I climbed up into it, hoodie in hand, and held it close to me as I drifted off to sleep. 

\---

The next morning, I woke up and Demon wasn’t in my room. My door was wide open. In worry I jumped up out of bed and downstairs, then took a sigh of relief seeing Demon sitting with Daniel on the couch, contentedly wagging his tail as Daniel coursed his fingers through his fur. 

I went back upstairs seeing Demon was okay and happy, and closed my door behind me. I took out my emergency sewing kit from my bag, because clothing rips happen, and began sewing the hoodie back together. I didn’t even notice I was crying until a tear landed on the white fabric of the hoodie. I felt the hot tears trickling down my cheeks and I wiped them away with my free hand. 

“He’s everything I ever knew.” I mumbled to myself. “He was my everything, I didn’t want to belong to anyone else.” 

I was captivated by that mysterious look in his grey-blue eyes. I fell in love with his rings, his earrings, his nose piercing, his tattoos, his stupid painted nails with the black paint chipping and he never repainted them. He just let the paint slowly fade away. His blue hair he now has dyed red. The way he wore that stupid black “No Name” tank top almost every single day. 

The way he protected me with all of him. The way he always wanted to know where I was and if I was okay. How he always knew how to make me laugh. I remember when we first met and how instead of freaking out wanting to meet him and get pictures, that I insisted on freaking him out at the abandoned hospital. 

We were the same person. We liked the same stuff. We were both reckless as hell and worshipped the idea of living life to the fullest. We didn’t have one care in the world, we just did what we wanted when we wanted and went through life for the feeling. We were addicted to freedom… together… and that’s what made our relationship stronger. I remember seeing him smile genuinely when we were exploring together, and asking myself how I got so lucky to be able to be called his. To be the one he held at night, the one he idolized and treated like a precious diamond. 

It’s all gone now. All of it. All of that carefree, reckless, ride-or-die empire we built up together is gone. It’s abandoned, and like usual, it’s calling out my name for me to go and explore it again. I can feel it in my chest, a longing, a need, an ache… a pain both my once better half and I felt together. It was then that I wondered if he felt it too… the same time I did. Did he have that same gut-wrenching, heart-crushing pain combination of guilt, regret, and longing for the good old days to reappear in front of us like they were the present. 

Maybe he wasn’t the issue… maybe it was me. 

Eventually I noticed I had sewed up the hoodie good as new. Like there wasn’t even a rip there to begin with. Yet there were tear stains on the off-white fabric. Ones there that were yet again caused by that blue-eyed reckless ghost hunter. I know what I’m getting into. I know I’m psyching myself out. I’m getting into my own head. My emotions are being toyed with by none other than myself. It’s something I’ve always been able to do. 

It can be a good thing and a bad thing: being able to use my mind to talk to my heart and convince it one way or another. But most times it exhausts my emotions so much that they don’t even show up because they feel I don’t even need them if I can make my heart feel things myself. Right now my head’s convincing my heart that Colby isn’t bad. Because… maybe he wasn’t. 

Maybe it was me. Because I was the one who had a problem with his answer to my comment of a baby girl. Because I was the one who was off before the Dubai trip. Colby was trying his hardest to help build me up… not tear me down. 

He’s not the issue… 

It’s me…


	18. close call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're going to love and hate me in this chapter, but mostly love me =)

I kept the mentality I came up with in my hear stored safely in my heart for the next handful of days, until something else tried to develop. Daniel and I have gotten a lot closer. A hell of a lot closer. He’s almost just as protective as Demon is. Maybe even more so. 

Him and I are sitting on the pier at the moment, watching the sunset like I did with Demon the other day. And just like Demon did, Daniel’s sitting next to me with his arm around me holding me tightly to his side and watching the world around us for any danger that would even possibly threaten me. 

“You ever get the feeling when you dangle your feet in or over the ocean, that Jaws is just gonna come up out from under you and eat you?” 

Daniel laughed pretty hard at my comment. “No, not really. But it’s cute that you do. And also kind of scary. You’re kinda weird.”

“I am weird and you know what?” I looked up at him and he smiled down at me into my eyes. 

“What?”

“I embrace it. Because being normal is boring.” Daniel just smiled down at me still. “What?”

“You’re my favorite.” He leaned in and kissed me right on the lips. I melted into it and kissed him back, a few times actually, until he pulled away so we could both catch our breaths. “Sorry… I don’t know where that came from.”

“I’m not complaining, don’t apologize.” I leaned in and kissed him again. 

“We should take this back to the house.” Daniel mumbled against my lips. “The guys are gone at the mall, we’ve got an hour and a half to ourselves maybe more.”

“Yeah.”

\----

Daniel and I lay in his bed after it all happened. He held me so close to his warm, soft skin. I felt safe and wanted and loved. But… not with who I wanted to feel that way with…

“I um…”

I shook my head. “Don’t say anything. You’ll ruin the moment.”

“No, listen.” Daniel said and sat up a little, pulling the blanket up over his waist. “I got a text… a DM really… from a guy named Corey…”

“Scherer?”

“Yeah.” Daniel sighed softly. “He told me Colby was planning something…”

“Like?”

“God this really isn’t the right time to say this.” Daniel rubbed his forehead in a bit of frustration. “He said he saw a note on his bunk in their RV. It was a suicide note.”

“What?” My eyes watered. “Wha- why? How? What?”

“Corey said they’re on their way to New Zealand right now, traveling through the mountains. He said that he just wanted to let me know so I could tell you. He said Colby sounds pretty serious about it this time? Like maybe he’s done this before?”

“He’s always been a little suicidal, yes, but I thought we established that.” I got up and started dressing myself. 

“Hey.” Daniel stood up and pulled me in for a hug. I used it as a pause to take a deep breath. “Thank you, for giving me a little piece of heaven while you were here. I know you love him. I can tell. Go get your man. We’ll watch Demon while you travel and when you get back here you can pick him up.”

“I love you, Daniel. You’ll tell Jonah right?”

“Yeah, of course, now get moving. Who knows when those plans of his will last until they’re played out.”

\---

I took a plane out to New Zealand, Corey told me where their RV was parked and I ordered an Uber to drop me off there. I told Corey I was outside of the RV door and asked if Colby was awake. Corey told me to stand behind the RV while he took Colby outside. So I did as he said and waited. 

I heard the door open of the RV and heard Colby talking to Corey. “What? Man it’s late I just wanna sleep.”

“And I’ve got something to tell you.” Corey said. “You believe in third chances?”

“Depends.” Colby sighed. “Corey seriously, what’s all of this about?”

“Well… I found this on your bunk, man.” I heard a piece of paper unfold and pin drop silence. 

“How’d you get that?”

“You left it on your bunk. Right in the open.” Corey said. “So… I didn’t know how to react or help, but I contacted someone who could.”

“I don’t want a fucking therapist, Corey.” Colby retorted rudely. 

“I’m not a therapist, but my friends say I’m good at advice.” I said and stepped out from behind the RV and met eyes with Colby. “Hi Colbs.”

“I- no… you know about… this?” Colby asked. “I never wanted you to know… until it actually happened…”

“Well, I have someone who hates to see me hurting, and hates to see you hurting.” I smiled faintly at Corey, who returned it, nodded, and left into the RV. 

“Why are you here? You have more to say about my bitchy fans or friends?”

“No.” I teared up but blinked it away. “I’m here to say I’m sorry.” 

“Okay, well… thank you…”

“Colby stop.” I scoffed a little, then remembered a little phrase I used to say that broke him immediately. “Something’s bothering you.”

“Stop. Don’t- don’t say that.” Colby teared up this time and stepped away from me as I walked up to him. “Don’t.”

“Hey, hey, stop. Stoppit.” I walked right up to him and just held him. It took a minute, but eventually he just started sobbing. It was quiet at first, silent sobs shaking his body, but eventually they turned into full fledged sobs. I coursed my fingers through his hair, which is something he and I both know he needs right now. 

“i-I’m so sorry.” He sobbed. “I wanted you back- I realized how lonely I was without you and I needed you back but… but you said before you left back then that there wasn’t any coming back from it this time.”

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t need to be sorry, Colby listen. Hey, look at me. Listen.” I started, looking right into his eyes. “I was the one in the wrong. I was the bitch here not you, okay? You saw I wasn’t happy and you tried to help. When it didn’t we both were confused and at a loss and I took it out on you. I was the wrong one, okay? You’re not the bad guy, come here.”

Colby sniffled and hugged me again. “I missed you. I missed you so much I cried almost every night. I missed holding you and cracking jokes and playing pranks and teasing and exploring things. We broke the law together, I fucking miss that.”

“I do too.” I told him, finally breaking and beginning to cry as well. “Colby I don’t care, okay? I don’t care anymore, I just want you. I’m better now, okay? I figured it out and I want a restart. Okay? Can we restart?”

“Yeah.” Colby released the hug and looked down at me. “I love you. I missed you so damn much.”

“I love you too.” I said, then pointed back to the RV. “No more of that. Okay? Don’t do that to me anymore. I heard about that note and those plans you made and it broke my heart. No more of it.”

“No more.” Colby nodded. “I’m sorry, I have to do this. I can’t hold myself back.”

Colby smashed his lips onto mine roughly and kissed me a few times, then hugged me tightly. “I love you, Colby. I missed you so much, I’m yours. I’m all yours again.”

“And I’m yours.” Colby replied.


	19. foreshadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to normal... kinda. we're nearing the end of the book, y'all. and if you think all of the bad stuff is over? you're in for a HUGE surprise later.

I spent a little more time with Colby and kept off camera for Elton’s TFIL videos because we’re not telling the media anything at the moment. But now I’m back in LA in his apartment… or, as I like to call it… home. 

Demon’s fast asleep on the couch after eating a large, well earned lunch, and I’m just sitting next to him watching some old Sam and Colby videos on the television. I’m enjoying life as it happens. Being grateful that the abandoned empire I had built up and established had been restored. And now I’m the queen of it, and Colby’s the king. How it should be. 

I’m still in contact with Daniel, especially after that one night stand thing we had going on before I left to see Colby in New Zealand. That’s another thing… I lost my virginity to Daniel… and the last thing Colby knows on that subject is that I’m a virgin and he wants to be the one to change that. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him. 

On top of that, Demon’s still unhappy with Colby. He won’t sleep in the bedroom anymore because it smells too much like Colby and he’s still angry with him for breaking up with me. God, sometimes Demon acts like such a human with human behaviors. Like, he’s holding a grudge on Colby right now. It’s funny and not at the same time because Demon’s a dog, he shouldn’t be able to do that, but he is. 

So, I called Kat over to talk. When she got here we sat on the couch and questioned what exactly I was so worried about when I called her. She could hear it in my voice when I spoke to her. 

“I have to tell Colby something he’s not going to be happy about.”

“Okay, well, tell me first and we’ll figure it out from there.” Kat said sympathetically. 

“I lost my virginity to another guy… when Colby wanted to be the one to take it.”

“Oh shit.” Kat gasped softly. “He won’t be happy about that. You know how protective he is over you.”

“Exactly, that’s my issue. He’s gonna lose his mind.” I sighed. “I don’t know how to tell him. Do I not tell him?”

“I mean, you can’t not tell him because he’s gonna be able to tell if you guys ever… you know.” Kat started. “But I don’t know how you’d tell him. Um… maybe… nah it’s best in person. I mean, didn’t he talk to you about the whole, ‘I don’t want a kid’ thing?”

“Yeah and you saw how that ended.” I said and we both kinda laughed softly. 

“I mean, you could also give it to him straight. He appreciates honesty, but he also is unpredictable when it comes to you.” Kat said. “So it’s like, don’t poke the sleeping bear kinda because you don’t know what he’ll do.”

“Exactly.” I sighed. “I think I might try to ease into it. When he gets back from the trip. Obviously. I want him to have fun because he’s on that trip to have fun and I don’t want to ruin that. But when he gets back I’m gonna try and slowly tell him, you know? Subtly bring it up and ease into it.”

“Good idea, looks like you got it all figured out.” Kat smiled faintly. Definitely let me know how that goes though, okay?”

“Yeah, for sure.” 

\----

Later that night, I got a text from Daniel. 

~~~~~~  
Dani  
~~~~~~

Hey  
Just wanted to check in  
Is everything okay over there?

Yeah  
We’re all good now  
Just had a friend over too  
It’s all back to normal again =)

That makes me so happy to hear  
I’m happy for you that’s awesome  
Well, I’m glad you’re doing okay

Hey Daniel?

Yes ma’am?

I have to tell him

About?

What we did… before I left

Um  
Okay  
I’m gonna lock my doors now

Lol you don’t have to  
Maybe  
I don’t know honestly

Exactly  
No one’s safe when it comes to you   
According to him anyway  
But I don’t wanna get murdered

Lol Dani you should be fine  
I won’t let him hurt you

It was a one time thing  
It won’t happen again  
I’m sorry

Why are you apologizing?

I’m practicing what I’m gonna say  
When you tell him he’s gonna message me  
I already know he’ll be ticked  
So I have to know what imma say  
Is that okay?  
Should I be more apologetic about it?

Lol you sound like you’re apologizing to my dad, DJ

Might as well be!  
That man’s hella protective over you!

Lol he’s my boyfriend, not my dad  
And that sounded good, you’re okay  
If he keeps going then I’ll stop him  
Just- don’t take any of it too personally  
Yeah, we made a mistake  
But that was when I was single  
It’s different  
It’s not all that bad

Exactly  
Damn  
Might have you just text him for me  
I feel like imma get nervous and lose my cool

DJ calm down!  
Lol Colby’s not some nutcase!  
Yeah he’s weird, but a good weird!  
You’re fine, I promise!

Okay  
Just lemme know when you’re gonna tell him  
Because I wanna prepare myself for that convo  
Gotta go, have a meeting to get to for merch line

Love you DJ

Love you too!  
Imma die!

Daniel!

~~~~~~


	20. fire and ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first part of the build up to the last big fight-thing (lol idk)

“Okay so what’s he doing?”

“You just might not want to come in right now, Colby.” Kat and Devyn and I laughed pretty hard at Demon. Colby was standing at the door of the apartment on the outside, while Demon was standing on the inside growling at the door and standing as straight and alert as he could. “Demon come here!”

“Darn dog, I don’t miss you.” Colby said.

“Colby shut up!” I laughed at Kat’s comment to Colby and grabbed Demon’s collar and held him back. 

“Okay can like- Elton come in first or something so someone can hold Demon back? Because neither of us girls can.” I asked, and the door opened a tiny bit and Elton came in and grabbed Demon’s collar. 

Corey and Sam and Colby came in the apartment and I hugged Colby tightly. I noticed he got much more tan over the trip and it’s really freaking hot. “Hi baby!”

“Hey!” He kissed me. “Your son still hates me.”

Demon was staring Colby down aggressively and we all laughed at it. I slowly approached him and scratched behind his ears, then grabbed Colby’s hand and placed it next to mine. Demon slowly got used to Colby and eventually Elton didn’t have to hold him back anymore. We all sat on the couch and the guys looked around at the decorations everywhere. 

“So.” Kat started. “This was supposed to be a surprise coming home party, but… we had a little furry problem.”

“It still can be!” Corey jumped up and ran to the door and shut it behind him. “Okay you guys- the girls are trying to surprise us. Get your butts over here.”

Colby, Sam, and Elton walked back out of the door and closed it behind them. Demon looked up at the door, then laid back down like he really didn’t care. It was hilarious. 

Devyn stood up and giggled. “Okay everyone hide.”

We all hid and waited, then the door opened and everyone jumped out and said “surprise!! Welcome home!!”

I hugged Colby and he kissed my head with a laugh. “You’re adorable. Goofball.”

“Yeah, I’m your goofball.” 

“You got that right.” We all sat on the couch and decided to talk about the trip. Minus the drama between Colby and I. 

But eventually everyone went home to get some actual sleep. So, Colby and I are in the bedroom, just laying together and appreciating each other’s company. And now’s the time I’m supposed to talk to him. About… the Daniel thing. 

“So… I um… I have something to talk to you about.” I sucked in a breath and heavily sighed it back out. “And… you might not like it.”

“Okay. Well, we’ve gone through some hella rough shit, we’ll tackle this together, right?”

“Yeah.” I said uneasily. “But anyways, after the fight… and while you were gone… on the trip… I went to go stay with Daniel… and Jonah.”

“Okay. You guys are friends, that doesn’t bother me too much. And I mean… we were on a break anyway so. I guess I understand that. Is that it or…?”

“No.” I scoffed softly, terrified of his reaction to the next information. “I um… I may have lost my virginity while over there…”

“What?” Colby sat up. “Wha- who? Who’d you give it to?!”

“Colby I don’t want you to freak out. You said yourself that we were on a break. I didn’t think it would bother you this much.”

“Don’t freak out?!” He scoffed and shook his head, then looked into my eyes. “I need you to answer me. Who’d you give it to? Who did it?”

“Colby…”

“Who did it?! Who took it?! Tell me!” He stood up, almost yelling down at me. He intimidates me when he gets like this. It really does. 

“Daniel.” I said quietly. 

“I’ll kill him.” Colby growled and pulled a shirt on and slipped on his black Converse. 

“Colby please! I- it was a break! We were on a break okay?! Please don’t hurt him, please! He’s my best friend!”

“He’s your side guy!” Colby yelled in reply and pulled his phone out. “I don’t know his address but we have the tracker app on our phones. You can’t stop me. He took a step too far. Way too far.”

Before I could stop him, he had stormed out of the apartment and drove off down the road. I pulled my phone out and called Jonah. He picked up immediately. 

“Jonah listen, you need to lock your doors, okay? Lock all of your doors until I can get over there.” 

Jonah was half asleep, I could tell by the rasp in his voice. “What? Why? What’s going on?”

“Colby heard about what Daniel and I did and now he’s on the way over there. He’s- he wants to hurt Daniel. I’m terrified, please lock your doors. Please.”

“Yeah.” I heard him get up and run downstairs, but before he could do anything I heard a voice from in the distance. 

“Where is he?! Where’s Daniel?!”

It’s Colby. He’s lost his mind. Completely. 

\----

I made it to the house, I’m trying to calm Colby down but he’s literally yelling at Daniel right now. 

“You had her in your bed!! That’s my job!! She’s mine!! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“Man you guys were on a break, okay?” Daniel was terrified, I could see it in his eyes. “I didn’t think it would bother you that much.”

“Bother me?!” Colby scoffed. “Man you’re lucky she’s right here and she loves you.”

“Easy.” Jonah inched closer to Daniel and glared at Colby. “You hurt him you get me.”

“Colby you hurt him you hurt me. Do you really wanna hurt me?” I stood in front of him and looked up into his eyes. “Baby please. It won’t happen again, okay?”

Colby relaxed his clenched fists and sighed heavily. “Fine. Fine. Let’s just leave.”

Colby and I turned to leave, I was relieved that nothing else happened. Nothing worse was said. Until Colby turned back and threw punches at Daniel. Jonah jumped in immediately and yanked the two apart. Daniel had a bloody nose and he was bleeding from his lip as well. 

“Go home, Colby.” I told him, tears pouring down my cheeks. “Go home.”

“And leave you here with him? Fuck no. Get in the car.”

“Colby look at him!! Does he look like he’s going to do anything else at all?! No, so go home, Colby.” 

“Will… will you come back?” For a split second I could see the sadness in his eyes. Regret. Guilt. He felt bad, but he needed to cool off before any decisions were made. 

“Yes. But you need to go cool off.” 

I followed Jonah into the house with Daniel. Daniel sat on the lid of the toilet as I pressed a wet rag to his lip. He winced. “I’m sorry, it needs to get clean.”

“You don’t have to do this.” Daniel mumbled. “I can do it myself if you want to go after him.”

“No. Daniel that’s not fair to you. You’re my best friend I want to make sure you’re okay.” I set the rag down in the sink. “What else do you need?”

“You should really get home.” Daniel sighed. “I’m fine, just gonna go to bed. I can’t say the same about Colby. After what happened in New Zealand you really should just get home.”


	21. stop resisting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slight smut at the end. suicidal themes. (sorry)

“Colby? Hello?” I checked the room, I checked everywhere in the apartment. He was gone and Demon was fast asleep on the couch. “Colby?”

I took a venture out of the apartment up to the roof, and there he was sitting on the edge, dangling his legs over the edge. Just sitting there. “You coming to apologize?”

“No.” I sighed and sat next to him, dangling my legs over the edge like he was. “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

After a while he spoke again. “I wanna jump.”

“I can understand why.” 

It went quiet. 

“I wish I could…”

“You have too much to live for, Colby.” 

“It’s all crumbling.”

“Not really.” I told him. “Baby we could have it all, we just have to give it our all.”

“I’m trying.” He replied. “Things still just seem to be falling apart.”

“Mistakes are made, but don’t let them define you. Mistakes are lessons, they teach us things, make life interesting, then go away.”

“Why can’t…” He started, then sighed. “I thought it was all smooth sailing from here. I thought it was all gonna be alright after that first paycheck from YouTube.”

“Shit happens. You of all people know that.” I tried at a joke, but he shook his head and looked down over the edge of the building. “Colby?”

“It’s a serious temptation…” He said, looking over the edge of the building further. He was leaning way too close to the edge. “I could lean over a little further right now and blink once and it would all be gone.”

“And I’d follow.” 

He went silent. 

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Yes I would. Fall right after you.”

“No.” Colby looked over at me, right in the eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t be able to control that now would you?” I told him. “I’d fall immediately after seeing you fall. Or we’d fall together. Right now. So… you either come back inside with me and we can cuddle together, safely. Or you could fall… and commit murder at the same time.”

Colby looked over the edge, longingly almost, but sighed extremely heavily. “I can fight a little longer if it means you’re safe.”

“And happy. Because I’ll have you.”

“I don’t know about happy. You’ve seen firsthand twice now how suicidal I am.”

“Colby I fell in love with you because of who you really are. Yeah, you might be that way at the moment, but it won’t last long. I can promise you that.” I pressed my finger onto his chest, right where his tattoo is of Sapphire’s paw print. “You are capable of good things, Colby. I’ve seen it.”

He teared up. “What would I do in life without you?”

“Probably that.” I pointed down off the building.

“Yeah, most likely.” Colby wrapped his arm around my waist. I laid my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I did this to you again. The thought of losing you breaks me. Shatters my heart into a trillion pieces.”

“I feel the same way.” I told him, my own eyes watering up. “Whenever you get like this… whenever you tempt yourself to commit like this… it breaks me that you’d even consider leaving everything behind. Leaving me behind.”

“I’d never.” Colby kissed my temple. “I need to stop. I know. I’ll leave this behind. This suicidal part of me. But not you.”

“I’m trying to pull you forwards, Colby.”

“And I keep falling back.” He looked up at the stars. 

“Just stop resisting it. It’s almost like you don’t want to accept you could be happier.”

“I’ll stop. It’s just… scary I guess.”

“It won’t be scary, I promise. Because I’ll be doing it with you. Right?”

“Yeah.” Colby replied with a soft smile on his face. “I love you. I’m so grateful for you. I really am I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you too, Colby.” I kissed his cheek. “These stars are so beautiful.”

“Yeah. the only time I’ll be coming up to this roof now is to see the stars with you.”

“Good.” I hugged him. “Good.”

“Hey. You do owe me something.”

“What’s that?” 

“A little bit of this.” Colby kissed me intensely, and grabbed my inner thigh tightly. “And this.”

“Okay well before this goes any further let’s get away from the edge of the building? Just maybe?”

“Yeah, good idea.” Colby got up, then I did, and jumped on his back. He gripped my legs in his hands and snickered. “Goofball.”

“Your goofball.” I ruffled up his hair. “Giddyap horsey.”

“Already eager to ride, huh?”

“Oh god, Colby.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder from behind. “You’re one dirty boy.”

“Yeah. But admit it, it’s hot and you like it.”

I crossed my legs in front of his crotch and rubbed him through his jeans with my heel. He let out a slight moan. “Now that? That was fucking hot.”

“You can’t back out now.” Colby said as he took me into the bedroom once we made it back to the apartment. He tossed me onto the bed and I landed on it with a soft laugh. I looked up at him and bit my pinky. He bit his lip and locked the door. “Holy fuck that’s hot.”

“You think so?” I stood up and ran my hands through his hair, he smirked down at me softly and pulled my legs up around his waist and sat on the bed, then we began making out. It got heated quick. Real quick. 

\-----

The next morning, Colby looked down at my sleepy self and held my body closer to him. I opened my eyes and smiled sleepily up at him. “HI.”

“Thank you.” Colby kissed my cheek. “Thank you for last night.”

I could feel our relationship strengthen. Our bond grew a lot tighter after last night. “I love you. A lot. Like, a hell of a lot.”

“I love you too.”


	22. home life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly my least favorite chapter. it's boring. but it has Colby with a few little kids and I guess you could take that as foreshadowing ;)

So, in a couple days time, I found myself mentally preparing to see my parents again. In person. In Indiana. In my childhood home. Colby said it would be best to go home and see them again, and I told him I’d have trouble going on my own. That I might back out and go to stay with a friend or something instead if I didn’t have someone to hold me against my word. 

So, we’re sitting in his car in the driveway of the house. 

“Colby they really don’t like you.” 

“They can put up with me to see their daughter.”

“Okay.” I got out after a heavy breath, Colby followed and locked the car. He came up behind me as I knocked on the front door of the house, and the first thing I heard was a hound-like bark from just behind the door. 

“Sully, chill out, it’s your other mom.” I took a breath of relief, it’s Katy. she opened the door and we took one look at each other and she teared up and hugged me. 

“Hi sissy!” I hugged her tightly then released the hug. 

“You really need to announce when you come over. You’ve surprised me like this twice now.”

“Yeah, sorry, I love surprising people with stuff what can I say?”

“Colby.” Katy smiled, then held up a hand before letting him in. “Did you bring anything with you?”

“Other than my gorgeous girlfriend and your sister?”

“Yes. And that was adorable. But besides the point.”

“No, and I know your parents might be making you ask. No, I didn’t bring anything with me like they might be thinking.”

“Good. You may enter.”

“When did you get a dog?!” I said while holding the beagle in my arms. 

“Not long after you left.” Katy answered and we all sat on the couches together.

“Oh, so they don’t get a dog until after I leave.” I scoffed and shook my head, setting the dog down where he ran off to the kitchen. He barked at the garage door. “So he’s mental?”

“No, he does that when Mom and Dad come home.”

“Oh.” I said nervously, then before I could react any more, the door opened and in came mom and dad. 

“Who’s car is in the driveway?” Dad asked while coming into the living room, then he lit up seeing me sitting on the couch. “Well hi Faith!”

“Hey, daddy.” I walked up to him and hugged him tightly. He shook Colby’s hand but there weren’t any words exchanged. Barely a look in the eye. Colby didn’t seem to care much anyway. 

“Sissy?!” I heard Bella’s voice and teared up. Her running footsteps led to the living room until they abruptly stopped when she saw me. I just started crying and ran up and picked her up, spinning her around before hugging her. She laughed the entire time, I missed her cute little giggle. 

“Hi Rosie!!” I kissed her pudgy little cheek. “How are you!? I missed you!!”

“I’m good!!” She replied, then peered over my shoulder when she leaned back to look at me. “Who’s that?”

Colby smiled softly when he looked up and noticed Bella was pointing to him. Dad left to his room, most likely to put his bag down and change out of his work clothes. Colby stood up and waved at Bella as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

“I’m Colby.” He told her. “And you’re Bella?”

“Yeah.” Bella shyly giggled, then gasped seeing Colby’s hand. She pointed out the bird tattoo he has just above his knuckle. “There’s a bird on your hand!”

“Yeah, it’s a tattoo.” Colby smiled, loving the reactions he was getting from Bella. 

“I’d stray from telling her what it means.” I snickered.

“Yeah wasn’t planning on telling her anyway.”

“I like your rings.” Bella told Colby, changing the subject like a toddler would.

“Thank you, they’re really expensive.” Colby said, looking down at his black wolf ring he got from Gucci and took it off, handing it to Bella. She took it from him and looked at it for a little bit. 

“It’s a doggie! Like Sully!”

“It’s a wolf, baby.” I kissed her cheek again with a laugh, Katy laughed too. “Hey, where’s momma?”

“She’s in the truck.” Bella said. “She’s on the phone.”

“Okay. hey, how about you sit with Colby and Katy. I want to go say hi to momma on my own.”

Bella ended up sitting on Colby’s lap playing with his rings and pointing out his tattoos. She asked about his earrings and his nose piercing too. Katy just cracked up while Colby had to explain to the five year old what they were. It was hilarious to hear while walking into the garage. 

I opened the garage door and saw my mom talking on the phone like Bella said she was. She was laughing at something. I smiled and walked up to her car window and knocked on it a few times. She looked over at me and her jaw dropped and she hung up the phone, then got out of the car and hugged me.

“Hey Faith!!” She smiled and released the hug. “How are you?! What are you doing here?!”

“I’m here to visit!” I told her. “What’s up? Who was that?”

“Your aunt Amy, she and the kids are coming over tonight for a fire. So are your grandparents.” She shut the car door and came inside with me. “I missed you! Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, Colby and I did. We figured we might be staying a little longer than just a day so we drove so we could still have a car.”

“Smart, smart.” She put a bag of something in the fridge. “So where is he? I wanna meet him, you’re always telling me good things about him.”

“He’s in there with Bella. She keeps asking about his tattoos and playing with his rings. It’s really cute.”

“Aw, I hope she’s not annoying him.”

“Nah, he loves kids.” 

We walked into the living room and Colby was seriously sitting on the floor, Barbie doll in hand, doing the doll’s hair as Bella walked him through it. I pulled my phone out immediately before he saw me and snapped a picture of it. Then I stood behind him and played with his soft red highlighted hair. 

“You softy.” I smiled. “What are you doing there?”

“Some kind of fishtail braid I think.” Colby put the hair tie in her hair and set it down. He looked behind me and saw my mom and stood up. “Oh! I wanted to meet you!”

“Yeah I wanted to meet you too, Colby.” She laughed and hugged him. “It’s nice to finally see you in person. Faith’s bragging about you is constant.”

“Yeah. Well. Can you blame me?” I told her and Colby wrapped an arm around my waist. “I’m just glad it’s not going as bad as I thought it would… you know… with dad and everything.”

“Oh, yeah, well.” Mom sighed softly. “You both know his reasons, and they’re valid.”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t even look Colby in the eye when he shook his hand. I’m surprised he even did that.” We sat on the couch. “Is he in the shower or something? He’s been in the room for a while.”

“Yeah, he wanted to shower as soon as he got home because your aunt will be over here any second.” Mom nodded, then stood up again. “I have to get the s’mores stuff out there. You wanna help?”

“Oh yes ma’am. S’mores are my favorite.” Colby stood up immediately and grabbed armfulls of stuff to take out to the backyard with my Mom. It was heartwarming to see Colby already so comfortable with my family. 

Katy came out from her room and sat next to me on the couch. “So, how are things really going with Colby?”

My phone rang and the caller ID said it was Brayden. I looked up at Katy and she nodded. “Sorry.”

“No, no it’s fine. It’s Bray, you’re close to him, take it.” 

I sat out on the front porch and picked up the phone. “Okay you’re back in town??? Like, what the hell I’m the first to know about this you know this.”

“I’m sorry. Yeah I’m back in town goofball. How’d you know?”

“Katy posted a picture of Colby on her Instagram story. Figured if he was there so were you.” Brayden teased with a laugh. “I’m kidding. But you have to come see me sometime. We should go on a double date.”

“Oh my god, yes, we should definitely do that.” I told him, then saw Colby drop the entire bag of marshmallows into the fire on accident. He and my Mom just started cracking up. “Oh god, Bray I gotta go. Colby just dropped an entire bag of marshmallows into the campfire.”

“Oh, well then you have fun with that. Maybe keep him away from fire.”

“Just maybe.” We both laughed, said our goodbyes, then hung up. Then as soon as I made it to the fire with Colby, Amy’s van pulled up in the driveway. I grabbed Colby’s hand tightly and teared up. “Colby, Colby, Colbs it’s Aidan.”

“Go get your little brother, then!” Colby snickered, then turned to my Mom. “I am so sorry, I can go out and buy you another bag.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it, I’ll just ask my Dad to go get one when he gets here.”

Aidan, Alex, Allison, and Aaron got out of the van, and as soon as Aidan saw me, he sprinted across the yard and hugged me immediately. “Hi buddy!!!”

“Hi!! I missed you!! I had no idea you’d be here!!”

“I wanted to surprise everyone!!” I said. “Surprise!!”

Aidan looked back at Colby and gasped. “Is that Colby Brock?!”

“Yes, my boyfriend.” I told him and he laughed in amazement. “You should go say hey.”

“Hey little man!” Colby came up behind me and side hugged Aidan. “I heard you were a big fan.”

“Yeah! The TFIL video where you guys stayed overnight at the trampoline park is my favorite!” Aidan told him excitedly as he and Colby walked back to the fire and sat down together and talked. 

I greeted my other family members as they came by and eventually all gathered together at the campfire. I sat closely next to Colby, my arm linked with his as he roasted a marshmallow on the sticks provided. I glanced up at the stars and smiled, everyone was laughing and talking and hanging out, it’s like Colby had become… just- one of us. He was accepted. And I couldn’t be happier.

“Hey, what um- what happened to grandma and grandpa coming? Could they not make it?”

Everyone went silent. “Um…”

“It’s just grandpa…” Aaron sighed heavily. 

I teared up immediately. “W-what?...”


	23. I don't know what to call this chapter so I'll call it smiley face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what all of the foreshadowing has led up to =))

“Baby, baby, hey, whoah, breathe. Hey, look at me, breathe.” Colby lifted my chin to look into my crying eyes. I had just gone off on my family for not telling me of my grandma’s passing. 

“I- I- they didn’t tell me. They didn’t tell me.” I buried my face into his chest. He pulled his fingers through my hair gently and sighed heavily. 

“Do you want to leave?” He whispered into my ear. 

“Yeah. I-I don’t wanna be here anymore. I don’t care where we go. I just can’t be here.” 

So, we got into Colby’s car and left after he said thank you to my parents for their hospitality, but they had to leave. They said they ‘understood’. If I wasn’t so tired I would have gotten all fired up again. 

Colby, knowing what helps when I’m upset, rolled down the windows and let the breeze blow through the car as the radio played softly in the background. He took my hand and stroked it gently as he drove. Not knowing where he was going, but knowing he just had to drive. 

“I’m sorry.” Colby told me at a red light and kissed my cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Colby.” I sniffled, the tears just slowly trickling down my cheeks. It felt like they were burning into my skin as they went. It was painful. I knew he was concerned, I knew he was trying his hardest to show how much he cared, but right now the pain in my heart is too much to focus on anything else. 

I lost someone I never wanted to lose. And I’m trying to accept the fact that I’ve lost her. Then on top of that, the fact that I wasn’t even told about it. My family doesn’t like Colby because he’s ‘bad’? It caused an internal scoff and sent more tears to my eyes like an army. If Colby’s so bad, why are you worse?

“Baby where do you wanna go? We could get a hotel just for tonight and head back to LA tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I wiped my eyes. “Let’s do that.”

“Alright.” He kissed my hand and went back to gently thumbing my palm. I sat my head back on the seat and turned my face to the breeze and closed my eyes. I wasn’t asleep, just- trying to soothe myself into sleep. Trying to start the fight against my mind to let me rest. 

Once we arrived at the hotel, Colby went in and checked in and got our room key, then came back out, got me, then we went up to the room. We didn’t even bother turning the lights on, we just found the bed and got into it and lay together. I was curled up into Colby’s side in fetal position, fighting my tears as he gently stroked the side of my face. 

“Just try and sleep, okay?” He whispered. “We can figure it all out in the morning. Just clear your head. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Instead I didn’t do that. I didn’t clear my head. It was racing. I lay there on Colby’s chest, eyes wide open, thoughts flooding my mind a million miles a second. Like there was a leak somewhere and it wasn’t ever able to be stopped. 

“Baby.” Colby tiredly kissed my forehead. “Let yourself rest. Get out of your head.”

“I can’t.”

“Does this help?” He lifted my chin and pressed his lips to mine. It was like a light switch how suddenly and intensely needy I became. I leaned into it and continued the moment, our lips dancing in sync, over and over and over again. It’s like with every kiss, I grew more and more lost in the movements. My mind became fixed on one thing and one thing only. Colby. And I’m pretty sure he could tell.

“There we go.” He quickly and quietly mumbled against my lips. “Just lose yourself baby girl.”

I sat up and straddled his legs, which I think is what caught him off guard at first, but then he caught on and continued by pulling mine and his shirts off and his hands gripped my waist tightly. 

He suddenly flipped us over and ended up on top, hovering over me. He pressed his skin to mine and I got drunk on the feeling, needing more. Our making out got faster and hotter, I let out a slight whimper at the desperate need for attention, for more of whatever Colby was giving out to help me get out of my head. 

“Just let it all go, tonight.” Colby kissed my neck and left a number of hickeys there. I could almost feel them forming on my skin. And I smiled softly at the pattern. He made them in the shape of a heart on my neck. Like something you’d see on a couple goals Instagram page. “What? You think that was cute?”

I bit my lip a little as his lips wandered down to my collar bone. And I nodded. “I love you too, Colby.”

“Mm.” He smiled and kissed my lips once before going back to what he was doing. “I love you more.”

\-----

“We’re idiots.”

“Colby.” I stopped him from speaking. I’m in the bathroom, door wide open, and he’s in the bedroom on the other side of the wall. “I already took the test. I’m anxious enough for the result, okay? I don’t need you to add to it.”

“I-.” Colby went to say something but he stopped, then picked up the thought again. “How would we tell everyone else? I- they- I don’t even know how they’d react.”

“Colby get in here. Now.” 

He made his shirtless self get up from the bed and he met me in the bathroom, holding me close as I shakily sighed and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. “Now you get our of your head.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed as well. “I’m just- nervous.”

“I know. And you’re making me nervous.” 

We waited a little longer until the test beeped, telling us it had read. “I don’t wanna look.”

Colby picked the test up instead and read it, then set it back on the bathroom counter. He was quiet for a minute, until silent cries slipped from his lips. I knew the result. Because his reaction was what I predicted. 

Neither of us spoke. We didn’t say a word. We slowly made our way back to the bed and lay there together. 

“You think they’d be mad?” Colby mumbled through the silence. 

“Who? Everyone?”

“Sam, Kat, Corey, Devyn, Jake, Tara…” Colby trailed off and went silent a minute. “Your family…”

“I don’t care what they think.” I replied. “My family. I don’t care.”

“Okay… well the others… what do you think they’ll say?”

“They might think it’s a prank.” I offered, trying at a joke, and I was successful because Colby chuckled softly. 

“Yeah. True.” Colby said. “Might have to have the test with us.”

“I don’t wanna tell anyone…” I sighed softly. “I don’t.”

“We have to, baby.” Colby kissed my temple. “They can help us. They’re on our side.”

“You just asked if they would be mad. How are you so sure they’re on our side?”

“I’m just trying to help you.” He said. “I hate seeing you anxious. It bothers me.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. That was a rude question.” 

“You’re okay, baby.” It went silent for a few minutes. 

“How do we tell them? Who do we tell first? When? Where? Do we just invite everyone over to tell or do we let them find out as the time goes by?”

“Hey.” Colby kissed my forehead again. “I think we’ll have everyone over periodically. Sam and Kat first, then Corey and Devyn, and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay.” I sighed softly. “I like that plan.”

“Yeah? See, its gonna be okay, baby. It’s not as scary as it seems. You wanna go home?”

“Yeah.”

Colby nodded and sat up. “Let’s go home then, babe.”

\----

“It’s like he knows.”

We got back to the apartment in LA and as soon as I sat on the couch and got settled, Demon jumped up next to me and laid his head on my lap, resting it back on my stomach. 

Colby smiled and sat next to me. “You think he could tell?”

“Yeah.” 

Demon sat up and gave Colby a glare that said enough. It was like Demon warned him not to get too close to me. I looked down at Demon and laughed softly. “Hey, stoppit, be nice. That’s the father of this kid you’re already posessive over, mister.”

“What- oh. That’s not scary at all.” Colby and I laughed at the glare Demon was still giving Colby. But eventually Demon stopped and nuzzled his nose into my stomach. “You gonna be nice to the baby, buddy?”

Demon huffed in answer to Colby’s question. I laid my head on Colby’s shoulder and sighed softly, just enjoying being home and comfortable and… away from the madness. 

Colby’s phone went off, a text from Sam. “Sam texted me. Asking if it was alright to come over.”

“Just him?”

Both of us laughed when he got another text. “Just said he’d bring Kat.”

“There we go.”


	24. wait for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're really gonna hate me... =(

“So, you guys have been acting funny all night. What’s going on?”

Colby and I both gave Kat a funny look. “What? We’ve been acting weird?”

“I mean… you did put the pizza in the fridge as soon as it came out of the box.”

“Hey.” Colby laughed as everyone else did. “It was hot and I wanted to eat it so I put it in the fridge so it would cool off faster.”

“No but like, I get what she’s saying.” Sam started. “Colby’s like, not stopped touching you or showing you affection since we got here. Which isn’t a bad thing, but he’s literally either held your hand or had his hand on your leg or something all night. And you’ve been more quiet than normal all night.”

“Damn, they caught on faster than we thought they would, babe.” Colby chuckled and kissed my temple. “Yeah, we’ve got something to tell you. Something pretty damn serious as well, but we’re trying to be positive about it because of all of the shit that happened while we were back in her hometown. We just don’t need any more negativity.”

“Okay.” Kat leaned in curiously. “What’s up?”

“You wanna say it or should I?” Colby asked.

“I will. I’m the one most affected here, doof.” I said and we all kinda laughed, then Sam raised an eyebrow, like he was already suspicious. 

“Wait. If this is what I think it is…” He smirked slightly.

“What? What do you think it is, bro?” Colby asked with a laugh.

“She’s pregnant?” Sam asked. 

“I think that was supposed to be a statement. It sounded like a question.”

“Okay but seriously!” Kat pried. “Please?! Are you pregnant!?”

“Yeah.” I smiled softly and laid my head on Colby’s shoulder. “And it’s no prank either. We can show you guys the pregnancy test if you want.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it.” Sam chuckled. “With the amount of stuff you guys do I wouldn’t be shocked.”

“Wow, bro! Rude!” Colby faked offense to earn a laugh. Which he did, a few of them actually. “But yeah, she’s pregnant. And yes, it’s my kid. And yes, we’re happy about it. But no it wasn’t planned.”

“Okay, well then, just answer all of our questions in one go.” Sam stood up and acted like he was about to leave. “Yeah, congrats guys, happy for you. Come on, Kat, we’ve got a movie to watch.”

“Sit your ass down, boy.” Colby teased, earning a laugh from both Kat and I. 

“Okay be nice both of you. Jesus.” 

“If you guys are messing with us.” Kat shook her head, still seeming to be in shock.

“No, we’re not messing with you guys.” Colby pulled the pregnancy test out of his back pocket and handed it to Kat. Sam looked over her shoulder and they both smiled. 

“Man, I’m so happy for you guys. In all honesty, all joking aside, I’m super excited for you guys.”

Kat handed the test back to Colby and he held it. He just wanted to hold it, which warmed my heart to be honest. “But like, sorry to bring it up, didn’t you guys like, have a big fight about something similar a while back?”

“Yeah, we did. But like we said, it wasn’t really planned. So we’re trying to have a positive outlook on it.” Colby said. “So yeah. We’re gonna be parents. At eighteen and twenty-one years old.”

“Sounds like some kind of teen pregnancy TV show.” Kat added, making all of us laugh pretty hard. 

“Damn though. Colby you’re gonna be a dad in nine months. All those times we joked about it on TFIL or XPLR trips and on videos saying that you didn’t want to have kids for a while. Now you’re gonna have one. In nine friggin months.”

“I know, bro.” Colby kissed my cheek and wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his hand on my stomach. “I’m ready for it though. Because she doesn’t do this alone.”

“Neither do you guys.” Kat said. “Sam and I are always just down the hallway there. If you ever need anything just come knocking. Or send us a text.”

“Yeah, don’t come knocking at like three in the morning. Text, please.”

“Yeah we don’t wanna scare the shit out of you at three am when you’re doing your ritual things.” Colby teased. “Just kidding, brother. I know you don’t do that anymore.”

“Yeah, I stopped a while back when it got too much. Teased one too many demons in my life. Didn’t want to haunt the apartment my girlfriend was staying with me in.”

“Aww.” Kat smiled. So did he. It was cute.

“Speaking of, brother.” Sam started. “What do you wanna do about the channel? Because we haven’t posted much at all in ages. And we really should get on that.”

“I don’t want to do anything haunted or scary or any of that. Not right now with the baby. I wanna protect my girl and my kid.” Colby replied rather quickly and protectively.

“Smart. I respect that. We should just do normal trips then.”

“I think we should do like- a couple’s exploration video. You know, before I’m too pregnant to do anything.” I said, making everyone laugh. 

“I agree. That would be really cool.” 

Kat yawned, grabbing Sam’s attention. “You’re tired already? Babe we still have that movie to watch.”

“You guys can go ahead and go watch that movie. We should be getting to bed anyway. We’ve been on the road the past two days.” Colby said, then poked my cheek. “You especially need to get to bed at a decent time. You’re getting rest for two people, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. Well if this kid’s anything like you it’ll be able to handle staying up late.” 

“Wow.” Colby laughed as he walked Sam and Kat out the door and closed it behind them. “You really are a butt. You know that?”

“Yeah but you love me anyway.” I stood up and kissed him.

“I do love you. And I love this one too.” Colby rested his hand on my stomach. “I know you might not be showing it, or trying to be positive for me, but I just want to let you know that I’m always gonna be right here. I don’t plan on leaving and I don’t plan on ever getting upset about this, okay? This is just as much on me as it is on you.”

“I’m actually pretty good right now.” I told him with a soft grin. “And if you’re doing good too then that’s awesome. Because then we’re both happy and excited already and that’s good. Means this’ll be easier.”

“There it is.” Colby smiled softly. “Knew there was some kind of doubt in there.”

“Colby pregnancies are rough. I’m not doubting that. I’m just trying to be realistic. I’m not trying to knock your positivity, I love it so much trust me I do, but I’m trying to keep us ready for if anything comes up or if something happens we’re not expecting.”

“I doubt anything serious is going to happen, babe.” Colby said. “Because I’m going to make sure we’re doing everything in our power to keep this as smooth of a ride as   
possible.”

“Well I really appreciate that, baby.” I kissed him again. “I do. I love you.”

“I love you too. You wanna get some sleep?”

“Colby.” I whined. “I wanna stay up. I wanna watch a movie. I wanna do something. It’s just now eight thirty.”

“Right. But I’m looking into your beautiful eyes right now and you look tired. I’m gonna pull the adult card here and say we should get to bed.”

“Pull the adult card. Colby I’m eighteen.”

“And I’m twenty-one.” Colby smirked. “There’s a three year difference there, babe. You gotta remember that.”

“I do.” I reluctantly followed him into the bedroom and pulled the shades up. I smiled at the stars shining brightly. Then I climbed into the bed. “We compromise then.”

“I’m alright with the stars, babe.” Colby smiled. “You love ‘em. They help you get to sleep faster. Works for me.”

“I love you. Even though you’re bossy.” I smiled and laid on his chest. 

“Yeah, bossy, you’ll thank me tomorrow when you wake up nice and rested.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, a lot.”

“I love you a lot too, Colby.” 

\----

“Babe.” I shook Colby awake. “Hey. Colby come on.”

“Hm…?” A tired mumble left his half asleep self. 

“Colby. Please. Wake up, I need you to wake up.” 

“What? You okay?” He opened his eyes up a little more. “Baby you look terrified, what happened?”

“Baby there’s someone in the apartment.”

“What? Babe you’re probably hearing Demon.” Colby pulled me closer to him and I felt a little safer, but I jumped sky high when I heard a loud click from out in the apartment somewhere. 

“That’s not Demon, Colby. There’s someone in the apartment.”

“Okay, hey, just stay here okay? Stay here and stay quiet alright? I’m gonna go see.”

“Baby please be careful, please.” 

“I will, I’ll be okay.” He kissed my head. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I watched Colby slowly open the door to the rest of the apartment and peek out of it, then he slipped out of it and closed it behind him. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. It could be something in the kitchen that we left on by accident. It could be a toy of Demon’s that fell off of the couch. It could be th-

“Baby!!” 

Colby’s voice was desperate, loud, pained. 

“Stay there!!”

There was another voice. “Don’t listen to pretty boy! Come on out here, pretty!!”

“No baby, stay!! I’m okay, I’ll be okay!”

I slowly stood up as well as Demon and we both made our way to the door. I grabbed his collar as I opened it and saw a man holding Colby’s back to his chest with a knife to his neck. 

“Well hello there!” The man grinned. “Is that a guard dog? He sucks at his job!”

I looked down at Demon and he looked up at me, then at the man. “I could tell him to kill you with one command. Let go of Colby and I’ll let you off easy.”

“Ooh you starting a deal?” He smirked.

“Yeah. My boyfriend or your life.” I told him. “Let him go and I won’t tell my dog to kill you.”

“You send your dog and I’ll kill him and pretty boy.”

Colby winced at the added pressure on his neck, one of the teeth of the serrated knife poked into his skin and a small trickle of blood trailed down his skin. “D-don’t… I’m okay baby, I’m okay.”

“Let him go!” I yelled at the man, my eyes watering. “Please.”

“I will. If you take his place.”

I looked into Colby’s eyes. 

“Okay. Just- just let him go…”

“No! Baby no!” Colby yelled as the man shoved Colby off of him and lunged forward to grab me. The man pulled out a gun as Colby tried to pull me away from the man. 

“Colby, hey, babe…” Tears fell down my cheeks, as well as his, as I rested my hand on his cheek. He put his hand on mine and started crying. “I’ll be okay…”

“Baby…”

“I’ll get out.” I whispered. “I’ll get away.”

“No…” He cried, then the man started walking me out of the apartment. “No! Baby! Demon go get her! Wait!”

Demon started barking loudly and sprinting after me but we had already gotten to the parking garage and out of the building and down the street. I looked behind me and saw Colby and Demon standing and watching the car drive off. He pulled his phone out and ran a hand through his hair nervously as he talked to whoever was on the phone with him. 

“Bye baby…” I whispered and sniffled. I rested my hand on my stomach. “We’ll be okay…”


	25. united

-1 month later-

It’s been a month since I’ve been kidnapped by that man. He didn’t know I was pregnant, and yet he doesn’t seem to care. I have no way of contacting anyone. I’m locked in an empty bedroom in an old house. My phone’s back at the apartment. 

I think about Colby every second of every day. It terrifies me about how he doesn’t handle me being away from him very well. He gets suicidal. And I can only pray that God keeps hope in his heart. 

I’m concerned for the baby’s health. I barely get enough food for myself let alone for the baby too. I get one meal a day, and it’s usually a piece of bread and an apple. A small piece of meat if I’m lucky. There’s a little slot cut out of the bottom of the door so he can give me things without having to open the door. He’ll give me a small shot of water every couple of days.

We’ve moved locations a couple of times. But only because we have cops trying to look for me. 

They’re looking for me. 

-Colby’s POV-

I’m trying to be okay. I’m trying to stay composed. But it’s hard to be that way when the only girl you’ve ever truly loved has been taken from you. Demon’s become paranoid. Every sound he hears at night has him sprinting to the front door. 

I have music playing as often as I can. Every day. All day. Even when people come over to visit and check on me I have it playing quietly somewhere I can still hear it. I recently was allowed to tell the media what happened, but not full detail. I just sent out a simple Tweet. 

\----------------------  
@ColbyBrock

She’s been taken away from me.   
Cops are on her case.  
Might be MIA on media for a while…   
Pray for me…   
\----------------------

Yes, I went back to the abandoned hospital I first met her at. Sam and I went. He thought it would be good for my mental health. I just went to revisit. Going back there… it made me feel closer to her… in a way. I brought some black spray paint and dedicated an entire wall to her. 

I made a black crown, the one similar to my tattoo because she’s always loved it, and put her name under it in a beautiful font. Sam eventually joined and used some red to make roses around her name. Red and black. Her favorite colors. 

Under the roses, as a side note, I wrote another message. “Faith for Faith. I’ll find you. I’m on my way.”

It’s illegal. I know. To deface property like that. But it’s reckless and it’s badass and it’s beautiful. Just like her. 

I take advantage of the time I have alone, aside from visits from friends, and sit at the top of the apartment building every night. Legs dangling dangerously over the edge. Not tempting suicide… but looking up instead of down. The stars have always made me feel close to her when she’s gone. 

-My POV-

The next 2 weeks were rough. Especially since the man got worse. He’d come into my room drunk every night, he’d either beat me up or rape me, and leave. Every single day. He did give me a knife, however, and told me that if I wanted to I could end it all myself. 

Instead, I used it to make art on the wall. I carved out a beautiful raven and put Colby’s name under it. It’s a reminder to stay strong. For Colby. 

-Colby’s POV-

About three weeks later I got a text from someone I never thought I would. 

\---------------  
@seaveydaniel  
\--

Hey man  
Stay strong  
We’re all praying for you two

Why would you want to talk to me?  
After what I did?

Because man  
In a situation like this  
All conflict aside  
We both love that girl  
Everyone does  
We band together

Well thank you  
That means a lot  
More than you think actually  
Support is good to hear  
I have a hard time getting out of my head  
So that helps

Yeah I bet  
I’m so sorry this even happened man  
I can’t imagine what’s going on in your mind

I’m terrified  
That’s my better half  
And my kid

She’s pregnant?

Yeah  
And it kills me to know they’re both not safe right now  
There isn’t anything I can do either  
My girlfriend’s gone, so’s my kid  
And my hands are tied  
I can’t do anything to help them

I know  
I’m so sorry, man  
They’ll find her  
In the meantime we have to have hope  
We’re praying for her, buddy  
All five of us

Thanks  
It means a lot

Yeah  
Stay strong, brother


	26. safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the huge timeskip. there's another one soon also.

-My POV-  
-8 Months Later-

Gone. just- gone.

I watched it happen. I had no control over it. 

It happened so fast. Like watching something out of a horror movie. 

Explaining it would break me too much. But to put it simply… I’m not pregnant anymore… but there’s no baby in my arms. 

I had a beautiful baby boy, bright blonde hair and icy blue eyes just like Colby’s, but I held him for a matter of seconds before he was ripped from my grasp. 

His name was Cambry. My beautiful baby boy.

I was so heartbroken and worn down, that the man who had me just let me go. Because since I lost the fight, he didn’t have any interest in me anymore. 

I can’t remember where my phone was, I can’t remember any names or numbers anyway. I remember Colby, and I remember Sam and I remember Kat but that’s it. Sadly. 

I walked the streets alone for a while, until a lady pulled up in a minivan and asked if I needed help. I could see a silhouette of a carseat in the backseat and knew she had children. I couldn’t emotionally handle that. Not- not yet. 

So, I told her no thank you and continued on my way in some random direction, but not too long down the sidewalk I grew dizzy and my knees gave out, sending my already weak body falling hard onto the concrete sidewalk. 

The lady from the red minivan pulled over and helped me to my feet. She told me she was going to take me to the hospital and make sure I was safe and okay. She said she truly wanted to help me, and told me not to mind her toddler in the backseat. A little blonde-headed boy with deep blue eyes. 

A little boy like my Cambry. 

The trip to the hospital was long, so the lady, with the name of Richelle, started conversation. “Where were you heading?”

“I don’t know. I-I was just walking wherever my feet took me,” I replied tiredly. 

“I saw you walking, sweetheart. You um… you’re aware of the bruises and scars all over your body, right?” Richelle asked. 

I looked down at my arms and legs, the bruises and scars she described finally registering in my mind. “Oh…”

“Did someone do that to you, honey?” Richelle asked again. “Did you get attacked?”

“No…” I fibbed, but never gave her an answer.

“Do you have a phone? Can you call someone?”

“My phone is lost, I can’t remember where I put it,” I admitted. 

“Okay, well we’re gonna get you to the hospital, okay, sweetheart?” Richelle said, pulling into the hospital entrance. “They’re gonna fix you up. Can you make it in there okay?”

“Yes,” I said as I left her van. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, honey. I-I hope you get better,” Richelle said as I walked into the front doors of the ER. A nurse walked up to me.

“Can I help you?”

“I-I don’t know,” I said, my eyes watering. “I-I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know where I am. I don’t- I don’t know.”

“Okay, honey, well let’s get you back into a room and we’ll talk, okay?” She was an elderly lady and she was very nice. She walked me into a room in the back behind all of the trauma rooms and closed the door behind us as I sat up on the bed and she sat on the stool. “Are you okay? You’re covered in bruises and scars, lovey.”

“I don’t know if I’m okay. I don’t know where I am,” I sobbed. “I-I was kidnapped in my apartment in LA and taken from my boyfriend and my friends for I don’t know how long and I-I lost my baby… my baby boy… he- the man…”

“Shh, okay, listen, let me go get someone to help you, okay?” The lady rested her wrinkled hand on my shoulder and left the room for ten minutes, coming back in behind a younger, taller man with a clipboard and a police man. Which was very intimidating. 

“Okay, Miss, can you tell me your name?” The cop asked me gently. “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

“F-Faith…” I replied, wiping my eyes. “I-I don’t know where I am… I wanna be home…”

The doctor behind the cop scribbled notes on his clipboard and the elderly lady sat next to me on the bed and comforted me as the cop nodded, looking something up on his laptop. 

“Alright, honey, we got your file pulled up. You were taken from your Los Angeles home ten months ago. Correct?”

“I don’t know… I don’t- I don’t know how long I’ve been gone…”

“Okay, well, I’m almost 100% certain this is you. You’re in Orlando, Florida, Miss. We can get you home as soon as we send you in for a health check. I have a few more questions for you, okay?” The cop sat on the stool, trying to make me feel more comfortable. It didn’t work. “Can you remember where the man held you so we can catch him?”

I gave him the house’s address, surprisingly accurately as well, but it took a lot of my brain power to remember that information. The cop then nodded and thanked me for the cooperation, and that he had two last questions. 

“You said you had a baby boy? Do- do you want to elaborate on that for me, miss?”

“I-I had a baby boy… I-I was pregnant when he took me… I had the baby in the h-house and the man- he…” My voice cracked and tears poured down my cheeks again. The elderly lady rubbed my back soothingly. “He killed my boy right in front of me…”

The lady’s jaw dropped and her eyes watered. “Oh, honey…”

“Alright, thank you for the information. This is all going to get that man a heavy punishment, okay? He’s going to get punished. I promise you that. I have to go make a call to the Los Angeles Police Department, and I’ll be back in here to let you know our plan, alright? In the meantime, this really nice doctor is gonna help you okay?” The cop stood up and pressed his phone to his ear as he left the room. 

The doctor set his clipboard down on the counter and approached me cautiously with his hands folded. “Hey, we’re just gonna do some routine checks, okay? Nothing to be scared about. We’ll do some blood work and get an X-ray to make sure you don’t have any injuries to worry about, and if nothing worries us, we’ll see if we can get you home, okay?”

I nodded and the elderly lady wiped a tear from her eye as she helped me off of the bed. She kept her arm around me, which was soothing to me. I felt comfortable with her. Not so much with the cop or the doctor. As long as the lady is here with me I think I’ll be okay. 

“Let’s go get your blood checked, sweetheart,” The lady walked me right into the lab and back into one of the booths. She closed the curtain and pulled out the needles and tubes needed to complete a blood test. “Good thing I can be the one to do this on my own, huh? You don’t seem as scared when you’re with me.”

“Because I trust you,” I mumbled quietly, laying my arm out on the arm of the chair as she poked the needle into my skin. 

“Well, thank you,” She smiled, then pulled the needle out and took the tube out of the small plastic vial and wrote with sharpie a few numbers and letters, then the date on a small white label and stuck it on the vial. “Alright, I think doc’s ready in the X-ray.”

“Will you be there?” I asked anxiously as we walked to the X-ray room. 

“Yes, I will be there.”

I entered the room and laid on the X-ray table. They told me to just relax and try to remain still. So I closed my eyes and let out a heavy, steadying sigh, and once they were done, the lady helped me sit up and back into the room. The doctor stayed to examine the pictures the X-ray took. 

The cop met us in the room shortly after and sat back on the stool where he was before I went to go get the tests done and pictures taken. “Alright, missy, the LAPD has been contacted. They said they notified your emergency source. They said it was Cole Brock? Does that sound familiar?”

My heart panged and ached intensely and I nodded as I just broke into sobs. “That- that’s my boyfriend. That’s m-my baby…”

“They just talked to him and told him you’ve been found. They said he’s on his way up here right now to take you home,” The cop said and stood up from his stool. “I passed on the case to the LAPD so it would be closer to home and you wouldn’t have to stay here longer. You have to promise me something, okay?”

I looked up at him through watery eyes and nodded as he continued. “You have to promise me you’ll get better, okay? You gotta get better.”

“I-I’ll try…” I said and he nodded as he left. It was just the elderly lady and I. 

“You should try and get some rest while you wait, honey,” She stroked my hair as I laid down on the bed. “I can go get you a warm blanket. You’ve been through a lot. You deserve some good sleep.”

The lady left and came back in what seemed like the blink of an eye and draped a warm white blanket over my sore, achy, and cold self. It calmed my cries and spastic shivering of adrenaline in seconds and I yawned, somehow finding rest in the chaos of my mind.


	27. "let me hold you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she's back home 😌

I woke up in the same bed, the same blanket, and the same lady as before. I sat up a little and rubbed my eyes, wincing at the pain of my bruises. “How long has it been?”

“About two hours,” She replied, looking up from her phone and turning it off, placing it in her lap with the screen facing down. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Homesick,” I said with a soft whimper. “I-I miss my boyfr-”

There was a knock on the door. The lady and I met eyes as she slowly stood up and opened the door. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for my girlfriend? I was told this was her room?”

“Colby…” I whimpered. “Baby…”

“Oh my god…” Colby rushed into the room and enveloped me into a hug. I broke. I just broke down completely in his arms. Heavy, loud, hysterical sobs leaving my weak and shaky body. “I- baby…”

“Colby…” I cried, holding him as tight as I could. “I-I mis-missed you…”

“I know, I know…” Colby said and sat next to me on the bed, pulling me into his lap where he just held me. “Baby…”

His eyes were heavily tearstained. There were dark bags under his eyes. He looked broken and tired and exhausted, but relieved. And in this moment is when all of my physical pain violently morphed into emotional pain that expressed itself in softer cries than before as I buried my face into Colby’s shirt. 

“Baby I-I lost… we lost…”

“Shhh… I know… they told me… I know… just- just let me hold you…” Colby stroked his fingers through my hair as the doctor came in. 

“Hey, just wanted to let you know some good news in a good moment, but you have a clean bill of health, missy. Maybe a little malnutritioned, but other than that you’re just fine physically. You can leave here and go right home,” He said. 

“Thank you…” Colby answered for me, because I was just so engulfed in his presence I was neglected from for so long that I couldn’t focus any part of my mind on speaking. “We’ll go right home…”

The doctor left and the nurse smiled softly, wiping her eyes and sighing a little at the sight. I sat up and wiped my eyes too, stepping off of the bed and hugging her. “You are such a strong young woman, you’ll go far in life. You already have. You two are a strong couple I can tell.”

“Thank you,” I finaly spoke for myself. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” She said and released the hug and she hugged Colby as well. Then, like in all of the dreams I’ve had for the past ten months… I walked with Colby into his red Corola and he started the long car drive back home to LA. 

~~~~

I fell asleep within the first couple minutes of the drive believe it or not, but woke up and Colby pulled into the parking garage of the apartment building back in LA already. 

“Hey, baby, you’re home…” Colby said while tearing up and helping me out of the car and into a hug. “You’re home now.”

“I got you… I don’t care where I am… I just need you…” I replied, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck. “I just wanna be right here.”

“Come here,” Colby picked me up and carried me up through the hallways, up the elevator, down the main hall towards our apartment, and he unlocked the door and opened it. The smell of home hit my nose hard and it sent tears to my eyes and falling down my cheeks. “I know… home, huh?”

Colby kissed my forehead gently. “Can I set you down? Is that okay?”

“Yeah…” I said and he set me down gently, careful of the many bruises on my sore body, and I rested my hand on the back of the leather couch, dragging it along the cool, smooth surface as I tried to familiarize myself with home. Home. 

Colby walked to the bedroom door and cracked the door open, letting out a special furry someone I forgot about during my time away. Demon. My beautiful black shepherd. Colby was concerned that he would freak out seeing me home again, but I sat on the couch and Demon slowly approached me, sniffing the air as he went. I reached my hand out for him to sniff again and his nose pressed to my fingers and he licked them once he recognized me, and jumped up onto the couch next to me, laying his head on my lap like he used to. Colby pulled his shirt off and swapped his skinny jeans for sweatpants. 

“Baby do you need anything? I can get you a water or something to eat? The paper that the doctor gave me said you need to eat,” Colby trailed off as he walked into the kitchen. “I can get you something, do you need anything?”

“I wanna get out of these clothes…” I said, getting up slowly and walking into the bedroom. Colby followed quickly after and shut the bedroom door behind him so it was just him and I. I attempted to pull my shirt off over my head but my strength was so absent in my arms that I just couldn’t. 

Gently, Colby reached out and lifted my shirt off over my head, pausing a second to frown at the dark bruises all over my stomach. And the stretch marks from when… 

“I’m okay, Colby…” I told him, trying to comfort him. “I’m okay…”

“I know, I just- sorry…” Colby helped me change into one of his large hoodies and a pair of his sweatpants. I tried to stand up after that, but couldn’t, so Colby said if I didn’t need anything, anything at all, we could just go to bed and get some sleep. 

He climbed into the bed next to me, cautious to touch me at all. He was scared… and I was too… because I wasn’t sure how I’d react as well. Slowly though, he took my hand under the blanket, graduating from that by gently inching closer to me and pulling me lightly into a warm, needy hug. I closed my eyes, convincing myself it was okay, that this was Colby and someone I trusted. Not anyone who would hurt me. That I was home and safe and Colby was hugging me close to make me feel safe. I got to sleep like that- and so did he… for about three hours. 

“No!! No!! Colby!!” My entire body pushed the unknown presence off of me, kicking and shoving the warm body next to me as far away as I could get it, until it spoke.

“Hey, hey, baby! Hey, you’re okay, it’s Colby, you’re home, you’re safe, okay? You’re safe,” Colby sat up across from me. I was currently sitting at the edge of the bed, knees pulled up to my chin, slightly rocking back and forth as I cried to myself. Colby, knowing this was probably what I did all of those nights before now, waited patiently for the episode to be over, talking to me softly from across the bed. “You’re okay. I love you so much. You’re home now. You’re not in that house anymore. You’re with me. You’re with Colby.”

There was silence after my crying had subsided, then in the silence I mumbled quietly. “Colby?...”

“Right here, baby,” He answered, looking up. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”

He scooted closer to my trembling self cautiously. “Can- can I touch you?”

I nodded slowly in reply to his question and he took my hand from a distance away as I registered his actions. He moved closer to me and spoke to me softly as he did so. “You’re okay. It’s Colby. You’re at home now. I’m not gonna hurt you, beautiful. I love you, okay? I love you alot, you have nothing to be afraid of.”

I rested my head on his shoulder and he laid us back on the bed with his arms around me. “It’s okay, baby. It was a dream, okay? You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

“I love you,” I mumbled out. 

“I love you,” Colby replied, repeating the statement a few times so it would register in my head. “I love you too. I love you a lot. I love you so much.”

I fell asleep to the sound of his voice, something I’ve yearned to do for so long, and slept the rest of the night until morning. When a knock on the front door woke me up and Colby answered it. I heard voices speaking softly in the living room outside of the bedroom door but I couldn’t pinpoint who the other voices belonged to. I mustered up the courage and strength to get out of bed and slowly walk to the door. I cracked it open and saw Colby sitting on the couch next to Sam and Kat…


	28. reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bringing back another old character =)

I stepped out of the bedroom and Colby looked over at me. “Hey, beautiful. How did you sleep?

“Hey. I um… I slept fine… I guess...” I replied, sitting next to Colby on the couch. Sam and Kat smiled a little when I looked at them. “Hi, guys…”

“Hey, you,” Kat replied. “How are you feeling.”

“Not very good… but I’m getting better, slowly…” I told them, resting my head on Colby’s shoulder. “Happy to be home. With you guys.”

“Yeah, me too. We missed you a lot,” Sam said, melting my heart at his words. I never really expected that out of him, but it was nice. He then looked down at a box he had in his hand with a ribbon tied around it. “So, we got you something.”

“Well, you did, Sam. You came home with it and I had no idea you bought it,” Kat said with a laugh. “But yes, we have something for you.”

Sam handed me the box and I gently untied the ribbon. Colby was watching me and he softly gasped when I pulled the box’s lid off. It was a brand new IPhone with a black XPLR phone case. My eyes watered and I took it out, turning it on and when I saw the wallpaper I started crying softly, it was a goofy picture of Colby. 

“Guys…” I sniffled and turned it back off, resting my head on Colby’s shoulder again and hugging him. “I love all of you. So much. Thank you.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome. Just figured you kinda needed one of those… so… and the case is signed as well…” Sam commented, making all of us laughed. And that was the first time I’ve laughed since getting back home.

Cambry… his deep blue eyes popped up in my head… 

“I-I need a moment…” I got up and left the living room into the bedroom and I closed the door behind me. It was quiet for a minute, then Colby came after me, closing himself into the room with me. 

“Hey, baby, you okay?” He asked quietly, frowning at the tears falling down my cheeks. I bit my lip and shook my head, causing him to walk closer to me, push my legs apart a little and stand between them, and hug me closely. My head pressed against his chest and his calm heartbeat settled mine. “What’s going on?”

“Cambry…” I sniffled, closing my eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” Colby told me, his own voice beginning to break. “Just came up in your head out there, huh?”

“Yeah…” I replied. “It hurt… I was trying to be happy…”

“I know, I saw that…” Colby said, then looked into my eyes. “I know you miss him and I do too, but he’ll be in our hearts, okay? He was our little boy, he’ll always be with us, okay?”

“Yeah…” I took a steadying deep breath and let it out slowly, Colby released the hug and smiled sympathetically.

“You’re okay, baby,” He kissed my forehead. “If you don’t wanna go back out you don’t have to, okay?”

“I want to…” I said, standing up. “I miss them. I just- I needed a moment to calm down… I’m okay now.”

“Okay, because I got a text before I came in here. Jake, got wind you were home, and wanted to come over and see you but only if you wanted him to,” Colby said, putting emphasis on his name, knowing the strong bond I have with him. “I think he needs someone too. Tara broke up with him recently.”

I nodded. “Tell him to come over. I-I miss my best friend…”

“Yeah,” Colby said and took my hand as we walked back out to the living room. I sat next to Kat this time and she put her arm around me with a soft smile. 

“You may have been gone a while, but you didn’t get any less gorgeous since the last time I saw you,” Kat complimented. “And I am still super jealous of your makeup-less complexion.”

“I missed you,” I told her, making me and everyone else chuckle lightly. 

There was a knock on Colby’s door and my eyes watered as Colby met eyes with me. He smiled and got up to open the door but I pretty much ran to the door past him and yanked it open, launching myself into Jake’s waiting arms. He hugged me tightly. Desperately. Like maybe he missed me more than I missed him. 

“I-I missed you so much,” Jake started crying. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Jakey,” I replied, crying myself. “I’m okay, I’m right here.”

Jake reluctantly pulled back from the hug and looked into my eyes. “I don’t think you’ve gotten any less beautiful.”

“Jake,” My heart turned to a puddle in my chest and I hugged him again. “I missed you.”

Jake and I sat on the couch next to Colby. I was leaning on Jake and Colby didn’t mind at all, because he knows how close we are. I looked over at Jake and frowned softly. 

“I heard about Tara…” I said, making him cringe a bit. “I’m sorry about her… she didn’t deserve you anyway.”

“I needed you here…” Jake admitted, shocking everyone in the living room about just how deep that was. Jake doesn’t often talk about his feelings. I guess me being home is bringing it out of him. “I really did.”

“I’m here now,” I said, looking up into his eyes, then rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m right here now.”

“I know, and I really am having trouble convincing myself I’m not dreaming right now,” Jake said, and Colby nodded.

“Yeah, been there,” Colby said, then looked down at me. “I think we all wanted you home so bad that now that you actually are everyone’s having a hard time believing it.”

“I’m having a hard time believing I’m home…” I admitted. 

Colby got another text and he read it with a smile. “Corey and Devyn wanna see you, baby.”

“Let them come over, I wanna see them too.”

So, Colby texted them back and we waited about ten minutes until they came over and sat on the couch next to Sam and Kat. we all sat together and we were all decently happy. Devyn made the comment about Colby looking much happier now that I’m home, which everyone agreed about. 

Then my stomach growled, so we all went out to eat to Bob Evan’s. Once we were there, I sat next to Colby and Jake. but Jake accidentally bumped into my arm unintentionally and it made me jump and lean into Colby. Jake apologized and so did I, then we went on with the rest of our morning eating breakfast together. 

I asked Colby if I could stay at Jake’s today. Alone with him. And it shocked Colby because he wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. To be alone with another guy without Colby. But, knowing how close Jake and I are, he dropped me off at Jake’s place and went back to the apartment after informing me that he could ask him to come pick me up whenever I needed to.


	29. falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you might hate me again... oops

So, now it’s just me and Jake. sitting on his couch together. I was leaning on him and he had his arms around me. Rather tightly as well. 

“I thought about you every night,” Jake told me. “Every single night.”

“I thought about you too,” I rested my head back on his chest. 

Jake stroked my arm with his thumb. “I really did miss you. A lot. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jake,” I closed my eyes, sighing softly and cuddling into his warm embrace. My eyes watered heavily. “I- I went through so much…”

“I know…”

“I-I lost my baby… th- the man beat me…” I cried. “I-I missed Colby a-and you and everyone so much…”

“Stoppit… please…” Jake’s voice cracked and he nuzzled his nose into my hair. “Stop.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” I told him, both of us just calming down a little, then I looked up at him into his eyes. “Jake.”

“Hey…” He stroked my cheek gently, leaning in slightly. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Jake…” I hesitated but when he pressed his lips to mine gently, then spoke against my lips softly.

“I love you…” He mumbled. “I love you a lot…” 

“Bab- Jake… s-stop…” I stumbled on my words but he caught it and smirked.

“What was that? Hm?” He kept kissing me, and I let him, because unfortunately it felt nice. To have this kind of attention from someone I love and trust instead of from that evil man. “Call me baby, pretty girl.”

“I-I can’t…” I pulled away a little, then looked into his eyes and was overtaken by sudden and intense feelings. Feelings I never knew I had for my best friend. So this time, I leaned in and kissed him. And he sighed softly in content, wrapping his hands around my hips. He hovered over me and held me down a little, and that’s what set me off.

All I could see above me instead of Jake was that man. All I could see around me was that room. I felt him hovering over me and holding me down and forcing himself onto me and I shoved Jake off of me and curled up into a ball on the corner of his couch. Taking deep breaths and just trying to process everything. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s Jake, you’re alright,” He scooted closer to me, something I never knew I needed. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“Jake… I-I don’t know what’s going on…” I said, voice trembling. “I-I bet you can feel it too…”

“Yeah, come here,” Jake pulled me closer to him and kissed me again, intensely, and all of those feelings came flooding back in. His lips traveled from my lips to my cheeks to my jaw and then my neck and stopped on my collar bone. He sucked there gently and I ran my hands through his hair.

“Baby…” I moaned out. “Jake…”

“Mhm?” He answered, slowly pulling my shirt up. “Say it again.”

“Baby…” I bit my lip and sucked in a breath as his lips kissed the bruises on my stomach and waist ever so gently. “C-careful…”

“I know…” He pulled his shirt off and slipped out of his sweatpants, pulling mine off as well. He came back up to my lips and kissed me multiple times. “I don’t know where this is coming from… but I don’t wanna stop…”

“Don’t…” I told him. “Don’t stop…”

He picked me up gently and carried me into his bedroom, laying me on the memory foam mattress and shutting the door behind him. He turned the lights off and I whimpered softly. “Jake… I-I don’t like this…”

“Just wait…” I heard a click and the ceiling was covered in artificial stars, but they were beautiful and gave the room a bluish glow. I marveled at them as Jake climbed back onto the bed and hovered over me, pressing his lips back onto the soft skin of my neck. “You’re less scared now, huh?”

“Yeah…” I smiled softly, closing my eyes and letting myself relax.

“There you go, good girl, just relax and let me make sense of it all,” Jake mumbled against my skin, hooking his fingers under the waistband of my black lace underwear. I gasped softly and hesitated a little. “Just look up at the stars, beautiful. Let me make you feel good. Let me help you relax. You deserve it.”

~~~~~

Later that night, around eleven or twelve, Jake and I woke up to a knock on his front door. He got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and looked in the mirror. “Shit.”

“Hm?” I tiredly asked. “You okay?”

“I have a hickey. Remember? That could be Colby.”

“Just put a hoodie on,” I told him. 

“I’ll just say I went to a club or something. I don’t know.”

Jake left his room and out to the front door, he opened it and fear struck me hard. It’s Colby. “Hey, Jake. Do you know where Faith is? Neither of you have returned my texts or calls almost all night.”

“I think she wen-”

“Is that a hickey?” Colby asked uneasily. “Who gave that to you, bro?”

“I um… I went to a club?” Jake said, even though it sounded more like a question. 

“Where’s my girlfriend, Jake?” Colby asked, a more intense tone than before. Like he was demanding an answer. “Hello? Where’s my girlfriend?!”

“I don- Colby! Wait!” 

I heard loud footsteps lead up to the bedroom door and the door opened, Colby turned the light on which blinded me for a few seconds. But when I did see him, however, he shook his head and scoffed. 

“I knew it when I first called and no one answered,” Colby stormed out of the bedroom and I immediately got up and got dressed. “I should have known this would happen before I let her stay here, Jake! I should have predicted this would happen!”

“Colby wait,” I stopped him from leaving. “Just- let’s just sit and talk about this, okay? Please?”

“What is there to talk about?!” Colby scoffed. “My best friend fucked my girlfriend!!”

“I didn’t want to have to tell you this but as of right now you don’t seem like you’ll be one to sit and listen anyway,” I started, getting both Jake and Colby’s attention. “I have feelings for Jake. And I have feelings for you. Okay? I don’t know where the fuck the feels for Jake came from or what I’m doing about them but I’m scared enough as it is. I don’t need this too.”

Jake, shocked that I even admitted it let alone in the presence of my boyfriend, stood next to me and looked at Colby. “Please, man. We just- we wanna talk and figure this out. I know you do too.”

My heart rests with two. And I hate it. With a passion. But we got Colby to sit on the couch with us. “So… what are we doing about this, then? If you have feelings for both of us, you have to choose. You can’t date two people at the same time. It just doesn’t work like that.”

I looked at the two and my heart made it’s decision then and there. It wasn’t what I expected, but it wasn’t something I could change anyway. Like the age-old saying goes, the heart wants what it wants. I can’t change that. 

“I can’t think of Jake with another girl. It breaks my heart. I’m sorry,” I admitted, my eyes watering slightly. “I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No, if he makes you happy…” Colby sighed heavily and nodded. “I don’t want to be the one to take that away from either of you.”

“Colby- are you sure, man?” Jake asked. “We don’t want to hurt you, buddy.”

“It’s kinda hard to say that when you’ve already hurt me,” Colby scoffed. “Both of you. But I don’t want to be the one to ruin happiness and lo- love… if you guys feel that way about each other. I can- I’ll find someone else. I’ll be okay.”

I stood up and hugged him. Tightly. With all of the strength in me, and he patted my back a little and released the hug early. “I gotta go. I have to meet Brennen for a video. Feel free to um… get your stuff out of the apartment while I’m gone. It would probably be easier that way anyway.”


	30. blank canvas ; starting over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXTREMELY long chapter

I moved my stuff out of the old apartment and into Jake’s place while Colby was gone. I wasn’t sure how any of this was going to play out, but I knew where my heart was. And that was with Jake. I couldn’t change that. There’s just something about him. I can’t place it but he holds my heart. 

~~~~~  
~~~~~

~~3 MONTHS LATER~~

~~~~~  
~~~~~

“Stay with me, okay?” Jake took my hand tightly. “I don’t want anyone messing with you.”

“They won’t, baby. But I’ll stay close,” 

It’s Corey’s birthday… and he’s obviously having a party. But the bad thing is there’s been tension in the community since I got with Jake. it’s been about three months since I did and there’s still plenty of negativity. 

I haven’t talked to or seen Colby since we broke up. I want to be on good terms with him but he’s still so not happy with me that he won’t even look me in the eye anymore. I get hate from the fandom because of my decision to leave Colby. And I understand that. But it just- it was time for me to move on. 

I’m happier with Jake, to be blunt. He treats me like a princess. He spoils me every time we go out. We’re always out doing something and rarely stuck in the apartment with nothing to do. Recently we flew out to the very last Blockbuster movie store just because we thought it would be cool. 

But with the fact that he treats me like his princess, Jake’s extremely protective over me. Not like how he was with Tara. He’s a goofball still, and a total dork, but when it comes to a lot of people or with our friend group slash community, he’s always got his eyes on me and everyone around me. 

My relationships with the community have changed. A lot. I don’t talk to Sam or Kat anymore. I’ll get a sympathetic look from either of them every now and then, but no words are ever exchanged. Obviously I told you how Colby and I are. He ghosts me. Completely. I do talk to Devyn and Corey, but not too often. We’re on good terms, we’re just busy a lot and don’t get a lot of time to hang out with friends. It’s usually just me and Jake doing things on our own. And that’s fine with both of us. 

So, going to this party, Jake’s paranoid about something happening. And he’s not wrong, because as soon as we got drinks and sat on the couch with Corey and Devyn, I looked forward and saw Sam and Colby sitting on the kitchen table. Jake and Corey started talking about shoes and where to get the best brands for cheap, but I wasn’t paying attention. I kept eyeing Colby. And Devyn noticed, so she texted me.

D: u keep looking at Colby

F: I know… I miss being on good terms

D: he’s not happy with what happened

F: I know…

I looked up at him, he’s changed his look a little bit. He dyed his entire head of hair a dark navy blue color, almost black. He got a new tattoo as well. It’s a king’s crown on his ribs. I can see it because he’s currently shirtless and in swimming trunks. It’s a pool party so he was probably swimming at some point or is planning on it. 

I saw Sam glance my way and as soon as he met eyes with me, we sat and looked into each other’s eyes for a while. Almost like he was trying to tell me something or give me an expression of some sort. It was hard to read. But he turned back to Colby and whispered something. Colby shook his head and left the kitchen sighing heavily. I texted Devyn again.

F: did u see that?

D: yeah… it was really weird

F: what do u think Sam told him?

D: had to have been something about you, Colby looked upset when he left

F: yeah… 

D: hey, you wanna go out back?

F: sure

Devyn and I told the guys we’d be out back and we left them in the living room to talk about their shoes. Still. 

Once we got out there, we found a pair of chairs near the pool and sat to talk. “It’s been a minute. How are you and Corey?”

“Oh, really good. We’re pretty sure Navi’s pregnant somehow,” Devyn giggled. “Which is funny because she’s an inside dog and she’s like Corey’s daughter, he doesn’t let her out often unless he’s able to be out there with her or to see her. So we don’t know how it happened.”

“Aww, well, if she is do you plan on keeping the puppies?”

“No, we might keep one just so Navi can be a mom to one of them, but we plan on giving them to friends,” Devyn started. “So I mean… if you want one then let me know, we’ll get you first pick of the litter.”

“Aww, yeah that sounds great. Jake and I were just talking about a dog actually,” I told her with a soft smile. “I think a puppy would be great.”

“Jake’s different when you guys are out in public. You ever notice that?” She asked curiously. “Like, he’s always around you or asking where you are.”

“I know, and I don’t know why. Maybe because he’s possessive about the whole ‘Colby’ thing,” I sighed a little and looked around, then caught Colby’s eye believe it or not. He had to have been just gazing in my direction and didn’t mean to look at me, but he did. And we held eye contact. Devyn watched and when he looked away she looked at me. “Did that just happen?”

“Yeah… it was- weird…” Devyn furrowed her eyebrows. “If Jake had seen that he would have gone off.”

“I know, or at least pulled me away from Colby’s view,” I said, then looked at Colby again as he and Elton laughed about something. “Jake came here paranoid. He said he felt in his gut something was going to happen.”

“Like what? A fight or something?” Devyn asked. “I really hope not, that would suck for Corey. He said he knew it was iffy to invite everyone back again in the same house but he wanted to try and get everyone on good terms again.”

“Yeah, and I appreciate that. I just-” I sighed, looking at Colby again. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

Jake came out the back door with Corey and as Jake walked past Colby, Colby looked up at Jake with a bit of a glare and watched as he walked over to me and pulled me up out of the chair, into his arms, and kiss me intensely. “So babe…”

“So, Jake…” I said, smiling softly as he sat on the chair and pulled me onto his lap. 

“Corey and I were just talking and thought it would be cool to go on a double date sometime soon,” Jake said. “Somewhere cool like a huge arcade or a bowling alley.”

“I’m down, that sounds fun. Whenever is cool with me,” I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes and just enjoying his embrace. Devyn and Corey got up to go check on Navi so Jake and I were alone for a while. 

“I noticed you looking at Colby a lot…” Jake said quietly. 

“Just miss being on good terms, baby. That’s all,” I told him. 

“Bullshit. I saw those looks you were giving him,” Jake sat up a little and so did I. 

“Jake, I love you, nothing’s going on, okay? He won’t even look at me. He’s completely rejecting me if that makes you feel a little better. I don’t plan on getting back with him anyway, okay?” I kissed him. “I love you. That’s not changing anytime soon. We’ve been together for three months and I’m gonna make sure that keeps going.”

“Good. Because you’re mine,” Jake said and kissed me, brushing his tongue against my bottom lip sending chills all over my body. I pulled back and bit my lip. 

“Not the time, Jake,” I snickered. “If you want that then we’ll plan on it tonight when we’re home and alone. Okay?”

“But I want him to see it,” Jake said, referring to Colby. He kept kissing me, grabbing my ass tightly in the process. “I want him to see that you’re mine.”

“Isn’t the dark hickey on my neck enough, babe?” I asked with a bit of a whine. “And the fact that you’re always with me and always have to know where I am?”

“I thought you liked it when I get possessive,” Jake commented, continuing our makeout session. “You said it makes you feel safe.”

“It does babe just- Jake…” His lips traveled from my lips to my neck, I ran my hand through his hair. “Jake stop… seriously…”

Jake pulled back and looked over at Colby, smirking when Colby shot a scowl back his way. “Alright, I’m done. Mission accomplished.”

~~~~~~~

“Stop,” Jake turned my face to look at him. “That’s like the seventeenth time you’ve looked at him in ten minutes.”

“Jake I can look at people,” I told him. “I have eyes.”

“Yeah, you do, and they should be on me instead,” Jake said. “Do I have to do what I did at the pool again? Because I will in a heartbeat.”

“Jake we’re inside now, on the couch, surrounded by people. If you do anything like that I’m not doing anything tonight and then you’d seriously be screwed.”

“Fine. Keep your eyes off of him, I mean it.”

The group started a game of beer pong and there were dares on the bottoms of the cups. Sam and Colby went first, Sam landing the ball right in the cup first try. Colby picked it up, drank what was in it, and red the bottom of the cup. But he froze. “I’m not doing this. I don’t wanna get beat up.”

“What is it?” Sam took the cup from Colby and read it, then snickered. “Yeah, no, that’s not happening. I’ll just take the point.”

“Nah, that’s not how that goes,” Kevin, a friend of the group’s, grabbed the cup from Colby and read the dare aloud. “Name one thing your ex did that you wished she or he would do to you again.”

“What the fuck?” Jake asked. “Yeah no, I agree with Colby, Sam just take the point.”

“Colby’s gotta answer it!” There were yells around the group. “Answer it, Brock!”

“Okay! She was a great kisser!” Colby answered, causing Jake to ball up his fist. “I didn’t want to answer because she’s sitting right there.”

My face went pink and Jake stood up in front of Colby. “Say one more thing about my girlfriend like that and I swear, boy.”

“Boy?” Colby scoffed. “And for the record, I didn’t even want to answer the fucking question, alright? I don’t like talking about her like that, man.”

“Mhm so then why have you been giving her looks across the room all night?” Jake asked, getting ‘ooh’ around the group. “I know you and I know your motives, Colby. You want her in your bed again don’t you? I’ll be laughing at that when she’s on top of me tonight.”

Colby growled a little. “I’m not in it for the fucks, Jake. That’s you. Why’d Tara dump your sorry ass again? Oh yeah, because all you wanted was her in your bed all day and you were a ‘round the clock horny ass and she didn’t like that. So who’s the boy again? You, because you’re no better than a thirteen year old boy who hasn’t hit puberty yet.”

Jake punched Colby right in the face and Colby fired back, knocking Jake clear to the ground. Corey and Elton pulled Colby off of Jake and I crouched down next to Jake on the floor. Colby stood back, breathing heavily, and started yelling at me. 

“And you?! Stay the fuck away from me, alright?! I’ve moved on, I don’t need your puppy eye shit from across the room! I’m sorry you can’t move on, and I’m sorry he’s not good enough it’s no shock, guess you should have thought about that before you slept with him while still with me. Because everyone knows I treated you better than Jake ever will.”

\----

“Jake, stay still, I’m trying to clean it,” I said while wiping the blood from Jake’s face. We’re back home now, alone, and he’s sitting on the counter in the kitchen. 

“I knew something was going to happen.” Jake sighed heavily. “I told you it would. I knew it.”

“Something only happened because you made it happen,” I said. “You heard Colby, he didn’t want to answer that question.”

“Are you siding with him?” Jake asked, looking into my eyes. I didn’t answer him right away and he pulled back when I went to clean his face again and grabbed my hand. “Hey, answer me. Are you siding with Colby?”

“No, I just-” I sighed heavily and tossed the rag in the sink. “Jake, you expect me to forget everything that happened. When I was gone for almost ten months being raped and beaten by a man when all I wanted was Colby. You’re forgetting about Cambry and how much that broke me, Jake. I’m in pain because of those things. So yes, I still have a link to Colby. Because we went through a hell of a lot together, okay?”

It was silent and Jake looked down in a bit of guilt when he saw a tear fall slowly down my cheek. “I-I’m sorry…”

“You should be,” I wiped my eyes and sniffled. “But it’s fine. I can’t- I can’t change you. Not that you need to I just- sometimes it feels like you want me to switch from one life to the next and not care about anything that happened in the last one.”

“I care about Cambry, okay? Don’t say I don’t because I do. I know you were in pain during that time, okay? I know, come here,” Jake pulled my crying self into a warm, secure hug and I nuzzled my face into his chest. “I know you hurt. It’s why I do all of this stuff, okay? I try to keep you away from people and things I think would hurt you because it hurts me when you’re hurt. I can tone it down if it’s too much. But baby I’ll never stop protecting you. Okay? Because I love you.”

“I love you too, Jake,” I wrapped my arms around him and sighed softly, until Colby’s words came flooding back into my head and I teared up again. “He told me to stay away from him. He- he yelled at me… it hurt…”

“I know,” Jake protectively tightened his grip on me and jumped off of the counter to hold me better. He kissed my head. “He’s a bully. He’s a jerk. He didn’t ever deserve you. He doesn’t get to treat my girl that way. You’re mine, not his.”

I melted into his protective words and it soothed my heart. I grew needy for some reason, but it was intense. I looked up at him and kissed him deeply. “Jake, I need you…”

“Yeah?” He wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to the couch. He then sat down and laid me on my back and hovered over me, pressing soft kisses on my neck and collarbone. I whimpered softly and pulled him closer to me. 

“It hurts…” My eyes watered a little. “I don’t know what it is but my heart hurts and I need you.”

“I’m right here,” Jake said and pulled his shirt off. I traced my fingertips on his abs and stomach and down to his V-line. Then he just pulled me close to him and held me close to his chest, flipping over so we were both on our sides facing each other. I cuddled into his warm, bare chest and he rested his chin on the top of my head with his arms around me. “I got you.”

We ended up falling asleep on the couch where we were. It actually didn’t take long for both of us to pass out, which was weird, because normally we’re both up late and have trouble getting to sleep. But I woke up later that night around eleven on my own. Jake was still asleep, deep in sleep, snoring softly, a sound that has become hard for me to sleep without. 

My phone started ringing, and I picked up, having not talked to the person calling me in a while. I slipped on my Vans and left the apartment, making my way up to the roof of the apartment building and dangling my feet dangerously close over the edge. I was under the stars and it took my breath away. Beautiful. 

“Hey, DJ…”

“Hey, you,” I could hear the tired rasp in his voice. “It’s been too long since we’ve talked or seen each other.”

“Yeah, I think so too…”

“You okay?”

“Just been stuck in my head a lot lately,” I sighed heavily. “Having feelings for two guys at the same time. Still getting over the ten month thing then I’ve been missing Cambry like hell as well. Sorry… just kinda word vomited there…”

“No, you’re okay, keep going. I miss your voice,” Daniel replied, making me smile a little.

“Colby yelled at me and Jake’s possessive as hell and gets extremely jealous when I even look at a guy for too long,” 

“Damn… I’m sorry… that sounds like a nightmare…”

“Yeah,” I scoffed lightly. “What about you? How are you and Jo and the boys doing?”

“Good, leaving for tour tomorrow, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to call you,” Daniel said. “Just would be busy soon and didn’t want to have not called or texted you for months at a time. That’s unfair to you.”

“Thanks, DJ. I don’t know how you’re still single.”

“You and me both,” Daniel laughed, then yawned. Hearing his yawn made me yawn and we both laughed again. “Sorry. I’m tired.”

“Go to sleep then, DJ,” I told him. “I’ll be okay. Text me when you can but don’t let it be an added stress.”

“Yeah, well, love you. I’ll try to keep in touch. Jonah said he was wanting to contact you soon as well too.”

“Love you too, Daniel. Tell Jonah too.”

“I will, bye beautiful.”

“Bye, DJ.”

Daniel and I hung up and put my phone in my back pocket, then leaned back on my hands, looking straight up at the sky full of stars. I sucked in a slow, deep breath and sighed it out slower. 

“Was that a boyfriend?” A feminine voice asked from behind me. Startled, I turned around to see who it was and saw a girl leaning up against the door to the stairs leading back into the apartment. She had a cigarette in her hand, piercings in her nose and lip and ears, wore all black and her hair was black and so was her lipstick. 

“No, friend… who are you?” I asked, turning around a little more. 

“Ah, just someone who lives here,” The girl pocketed her vape and walked over to stand next to me near the edge of the building. “You like heights or something?”

“Not at all, just came up here for the stars,” I told her. “Just something about them has me coming back up here every night.”

“And hanging over the edge of a two-hundred foot drop,” She snickered. “Name’s Raizy.”

“Faith,” I replied, shooting her a mild smile then looking back up at the stars. “What are you doing up here?”

“Oh, I like to sit on the edge of the building. It’s exhilarating.” Raizy answered. “Something about being feet away from death sends adrenaline coursing through my veins.”

I nodded a little. “I hate heights. But I love the stars. So heights don’t scare me when I’m looking at the stars.”

“Makes sense,” She sighed heavily. It was quiet for a minute, then I got a text. I read it and rolled my eyes a little, setting my phone face down on the concrete roof. “Now guessing with that look, that was your boyfriend?”

“Yeah actually…” I sighed as well. “He’s- protective. Wants to know where I am.”

“You gonna answer?” Raizy raised an eyebrow. 

“No,” I answered simply. “He’ll be fine. Probably go back to sleep. He’s so protective sometimes it stresses me out. Big time.”

“Here,” Raizy handed me a cigarette. “Immediate stress relief.”

I hesitated. “I really shouldn’t.”

Raizy lit it for me and handed it to me. “Take it.”

So… I did. She lit herself one and taught me how to correctly do it, and we smoked together. We finished and I got up. “I gotta get back. My boyfriend’s going to lose his mind.”

“Alright. Well, I’m up here every night if you ever want to come back up and hang.”

“I will,” I answered and made it down the stairs and into the pitch black apartment.


	31. "you were the difference"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter =)  
Love you guys, all of my readers.   
You guys keep me writing every day.  
Comment if you want me to continue this and ideas of where this can go. 
> 
> (Excerpt of my new book at very end!)

“Hey, where were you? Why didn’t you answer my text?”

“I was with a friend, sorry,” I said and kicked my Vans off. I walked up to him and kissed him gently, but he pulled away and furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Babe,” Jake backed up a little. “Why do you smell like cigarette smoke?”

“Oh, the friend I have smokes. I didn’t smoke, babe,” I lied. He leaned in and kissed me another two times and pulled back shaking his head. 

“Don’t lie to me! You smoked!” Jake scoffed, turning a light on. “Babe, why?!”

“Jake, come on, it’s not a big deal, I don’t know why you’re freaking out about it.” 

“I’m freaking out because it is a big deal!” Jake said, crossing his arms across his bare chest. “Babe you could get cancer from that! You could get seriously sick! Not to mention a horrible addiction! How long have you been doing it?”

“That was my first one…” I mumbled, looking down at my feet. 

“Where did it come from? Why did you do it?”

“I’m stressed out, Jake!” I finally said, making the air between us thick. “I’m stressed about Colby and I’m stressed about my future and I’m stressed about you and us and keeping us going and-”

Jake cut me off. “About us? What do you mean us?”

“I-I don’t know…” I said, sitting on the couch with my eyes watering. 

“Baby wait, what- what’s wrong with us? I thought we were okay again, on good terms?” He sat next to me. “Baby?”

“Jake I-” My voice cracked and I shook my head. “I don’t know what my heart wants in this situation. In life. And- and I don’t know how to process anything.”

“You still have feelings for Colby,” Jake’s words had a sad tone. “I knew it.”

“Jake, no- well… yes and no, I don’t know,” I looked at him. “I love both of you.”

“Love? You love Colby?” Jake’s words had a bit of an aggressive tone now. “So why did you get together with me then? Why did you say yes when I asked you to be mine? Because you felt bad? You wanted to sleep with me? Wanted something new? Help me understand here because I need to know.”

“I love you, Jake. That’s why, okay? I love you and I love Colby and I don’t know how to handle it. But I guess now he hates me so my choice is made for me,” I sat back on the couch with a heavy sigh. “Not that you’re the lesser alternative.”

“There shouldn’t have been an alternative option in the first place,” Jake told me. “So what do we do now? You smoke, Colby hates you but you love him, we’re not on the best terms and so far all our relationship has been is fucking each other and animocity.”

“Pretty shitty huh?” I tried at slight humor but it was ineffective. 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Jake stood up. “Do what you want. I don’t care anymore.”

“Jake-” I watched him go into the bedroom and close the door behind him. I sighed sadly as tears fell from my eyes. I went up to the roof again with Raizy and stood just next to the edge of the building. She looked up at me.

“Back so soon?” 

“I wanna jump,” I said, blankly looking over the edge. “I wouldn’t make it right?”

“No, you wouldn’t, for sure. That’s over two hundred feet,” Raizy stood up. “Are you gonna jump?”

“Yes,” I said, and as I was building up the courage to jump, the door opened behind me to the apartments and a voice spoke. 

“No!” It was Jake, and he ran up behind me and picked me up, moving me further back away from the edge. “What the hell were you thinking?! Were you gonna jump?!”

“Yes,” I answered blankly. “Why didn’t you let me?”

Jake was silent after that comment for a moment, then he shook his head. “You’re not like this. Come on. We’re going inside. This isn’t okay.”

Jake took me back to the apartment and we sat on the couch. He turned a lamp on so there was a dim light. Enough to see each other and our reactions. 

“Why the hell were you up there?”

“I wanted to jump. I told you,” I told him quietly. “You stopped me.”

“Yeah, I fucking did, because that’s insane,” Jake said and stood up, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “I’m gonna call the only person I know that might be able to help you.”

“I don’t need help, Jake.”

“You’re nuts if you think you don’t,” Jake sighed. “Hello? Yeah, save it, I need your help. Yes, I’m okay but she’s not. What happened? Ha, yeah, I don’t know. She won’t talk to me. So I need your help. Yeah, sure, bring Corey I don’t care. Bye.”

A few minutes later, Devyn and Corey showed up. Jake and Corey left out to Jake’s balcony and shut the glass sliding door behind them. Devyn sat next to me on the couch. “Hey, you okay? Jake said you needed me?”

“I’m fine…” I grumbled. “I don’t know why Jake called anyone. I’m just fine. Perfectly peachy.”

“Okay, well, can you at least tell me what happened?” Devyn asked gently, cautious to say much at all. “Just tell me why Jake is freaking out.”

“I was on the roof of the apartment building. I wanted to jump off. He stopped me and pulled me in here and called you and Corey. I don’t know why he’s freaking out,” I explained. “It was my decision.”

“Oh…” Devyn frowned. “Well- that’s over two hundred feet up, why’d you wanna jump?”

“Because…” I started, my voice shaking as I continued. “Ever sinc-”

Corey and Jake opened the door and sat on the couch. I sank back into myself. Devyn grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes intently. “I didn’t hear you right, did you say something? Please continue.”

“Yes, please continue, we all wanna know,” Jake rudely commented, making me sink further into myself. I looked down and let tears fall from my eyes. “Hello?”

I got up and ran through the apartment, up the stairs to the roof exit, and stood at the very edge of the building again. Jake and Corey and Devyn came running after me yelling for me to stop. They each stood a distance away from me like I was possessed or something. 

“Hey, listen, don’t do this, you’re my best friend you’re better than this,” Devyn said. “Please. You have so many amazing things to live for.”

“Don’t. Please,” Corey said. “There are so many people who would miss you. Including myself.”

“No… I- I have to jump…” I said quietly, looking deeply over the edge. I felt my balance go uneasy and it scared me, so I backed up a little but not too much. 

Another voice came from behind me. It wasn’t Jake or Corey or Devyn, but Sam. “Hey, listen, it’s Sam, don’t do this okay? Listen to me, don’t do this to me. Or Kat, or Devyn or Jake or anyone. We’ll all miss you way too much. You may think you have it hard right now but listen, if you do this, and we lose you… (his voice cracks) everything would get a hell of a lot worse.”

“You act like you care…” I turned around to face the group. “You all act like you care! Why?! Because after I chose Jake everyone dropped me! Now, all of a sudden when I try and make life easier for everyone and myself you’re all begging me not to leave! You shut me out! How the hell am I not supposed to be heartbroken?! You- you guys are all I have… m-my family isn’t happy with me at all because I chose to live my dreams out here with you guys and I treated you guys like my family… now that’s gone too… so there’s your reason, guys. I hit rock bottom because everyone just kept dropping me. And I don’t see why I can’t fall one last time so everything would go back to normal for you all. Like I wasn’t ever here.”

“Don’t,” Sam sniffled. “We- we love you. Really. Please don’t do this. I won’t only be losing a friend, I’d be losing someone who’s felt like a little sister to me this entire time.”

“You’re a sucky older brother then,” I fired back. “You ignored me because I followed my heart. Family supports, guys. Neither of you did that.”

Corey pocketed his phone and stood back by Devyn. “We didn’t know how to process it. You came back from the ten-month incident and dropped Colby and went for Jake all in one day. It was intense and we all kind of took it in a different way. That doesn’t mean we don’t love you. We do. We understand you’re hurting and we’re here to help. All of us.”

“Save it, Corey. Everyone else here has had amazing lives. You’ve all lived these last few years in heaven with whoever you love and wherever you want. I don’t expect you to understand why I am the way I am. You haven’t had your baby boy ripped from your arms only mere minutes after being born and had to watch him be murdered right in front of you with no way of saving him or helping him in any way possible. You have no idea what kind of pain that is for a mother. None of you have been raped or beaten for ten months straight. So tell me you understand again, I dare you.”

I turned around and looked back over the edge of the building, inching closer to it than before to where almost half of each of my feet were over the edge. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” A voice said from behind me, closer than the others. It made my heart thump hard in my chest. “You up here lookin’ at the stars?”

“No,” I said, trying my hardest not to break. “I’m gonna jump.”

“Okay, well, I want you to see this first,” He said and I turned around, facing Colby. He had a paper in his hand and a white blanket. He held it out to me and I took it. 

The paper had two tiny footprints and two tiny handprints on it. The paper had a name on it… Cambry James Brock. And the blanket had his initials embroidered on the corner. 

“Colby…” 

“Don’t jump,” He looked into my eyes. “Don’t do it.”

“Colby I-I have no one…”

“Bull,” Sam said, coming up behind Colby. “Bullshit. Come here.”

Sam and Colby enveloped me into a warm hug.

I held it…

I held it… 

And I broke. 

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…” I started sobbing, resting my head on Colby’s strong chest. 

“You’re so important to all of us. To me and Colby mostly,” Sam started, smiling softly at Colby. “Because you were the difference.”

“W-what?” I looked up at him, confused. Colby wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and Sam held my hands in front of me. 

“You were the difference. You showed Colby and I that we’re just as human as everyone else,” Sam said. “Instead of rushing to take a picture with us when you first met us in that abandoned hospital you wanted to scare us like any other teenager would. You showed Colby, the single most lonely guy in the world that he had another half. A better half, and a hope. You told us your story, how we changed your world, and it inspired us to keep going. You were the difference.”

“You had no idea, huh?” Colby smiled softly, then frowned again. “What we did wasn’t right. How all of us reacted to the situation wasn’t how we should have. You ran from me and everything we had because you were in pain and thought that if you shoved it all inside and created a new life with someone else that you’d feel better. We all never realized it and I just did recently. That you were acting out of fear instead of out of the actions of your own heart. You were scared, and when it all came tumbling down you didn’t have anyone here to hold you. So you thought that if you just left, ultimately, that it would all go away. That’s why you wanted to jump.”

“You- you’ve always been able to- to read my mind,” I lightly smiled, in relief mostly. That, someone, understood. “You’ve always been able to understand.”

“Yeah,” Colby smiled softly and kissed my cheek. “Happens when you’re linked to someone.”

I looked over at Jake and he smiled softly too, like a knowing smile. It was sympathetic. Like he knew better to try and keep Colby and I apart. Like the fight was over. 

The fight was over. And I was the difference. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EXCERPT FROM MY NEWEST BOOK :: "Puzzle Pieces"

Colby, hearing the unfamiliar voice and commotion, woke up and rubbed the disorienting exhaustion from his eyes, sitting up. “Hey, guessing you’re Cambry’s mom?”

“Yes, but like- I really don’t want to move her,” Riley and Colby both looked down at Cambry and each chuckled. “She looks so comfortable.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been told on multiple occasions that I’m a great pillow so… she’s not crazy,” Colby explained, then looked up at Riley again. “I can pick her up if I need to. I don’t mind taking her to your car.”

“That would be awesome. Thank you…?”

“Colby,” Colby stood up and smiled, holding Cambry in his arms bridal style. “And you’re Riley. Cambry told me.”

“Ah. nice,” Riley snickered and opened the backseat car door and Colby set Cambry in her seat and buckled her into it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, kids are my favorite,” Colby said. “Well, it was nice meeting you. Cambry is an angel.”

“Yeah, she’s my little buddy, it’s just us at the house so,” Riley nodded and sighed softly. “Well, we best be getting home. It’s late and Cambry’s gonna be a cranky butt.”

“Yeah, well, bye then…” Colby said awkwardly as Riley nodded and got in her car and drove off. Colby walked back into the house to Kat smirking at him. “What?”

“I know that look, Colby,” Kat teased. “You like her.”

“I was being nice,” Colby fibbed, knowing Kat was next to spot on with her assumption. “Okay. Fine. Yes, she’s beautiful, but I don’t know her all that well yet.”

“She’s lonely as hell,” Kat said with a soft sigh. “It’s just her and Cambry in her apartment. Whether she admits it or not she’s lonely.”

“Yeah?” Colby looked back towards the front door, then continued into the living room with Kat. “Where did you say she worked again?”


End file.
